A question for the married Y/A users?

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Cat

Why do you think that we live in a different country.

My in-laws don't like me. I call them by their given names and my hubby calls my parents mom and dad. But then he is much closer to my parents than to his own. I know just how you feel. At first it was so awkward but after 14 years I don't feel bad calling them by their names. I think that is because they realised that their son was not going to get divorced and that I was here forever.

skooby786

Bull, I have the same dilemma. I just cannot bring myself to call them mum and dad. It is just too damn awkward. I usually phrase the sentence in such a manner where you dont have to use the words mum and dad. The toughest is when you there is a phone call for them and they are not nearby. I usually walk up to them and say "there is a call for you"
My parents are sacred to me and can never be replaced. I will never call anybody other than my parents mom and dad. My dad passed away last year and my father in law is not going to get his title - no way

Tsepo

Not married yet, but i think Mom/dad is simple and readily acceptable, other than being told, look here boy, i am not your Oom, verstan jy? ek is nie jou blarrie Oom!

Hennie

My in-laws are Chinese so, out of respect, as it is their custom, I call them the Chinese equivalent of Mom and Dad. It's not hard. Yes, they have names, but the Chinese family unit is especially close-knit and calling them "Mom and Dad", gives them the respect that is required.

Celeste

When I got married I was also very shy about calling my inlaws Mom and Dad... (Kind of like "will they be ok with it if I suddenly refer to them as "parents" of mine?!)

You only feel shy the first time you actually say it. Thereafter it is just like any other name.

When my two little boys get married one day, I would love for their wifes to call me Mom.

varksnorkie

I call my parent in law Mom and Dad, my husband calls my parents Pa and Ma. I have no problem with it really, just call them Ma and Pa, it will make them happy as well as your wife, don't be shy, they are now family!

Nikki G

I call mine by their first names, when my husband and I were just friends I did the whole Aunty+name thing but when we got married it somehow did a natural progression to their first names.
The whole mom and dad thing does feel weird to me because it makes me feel like my husbands sibling if we share a mom and dad...and thats just WRONG! (EW!)

I can imagine that if your in-laws are afrikaans it can be harder because there is a natural tendency for the older afrikaans generation to be more traditional making the first name thing slightly inappropriate unless they invite you to do so. But, i'm a "rooi-nek", so I may be wrong! :)

redhead

I call them by their first names - it would seem weird calling them "mom" and "dad" - plus they live in France so we don't really speak that much unless it is a quick chat on the phone or if we go visit. Hubby calls my folks by their first names too.

I think the good old "oom en tannie" would work for you.

The Blue bull

Bull, I call them Mom and Dad. Before marriage, I used to call the 'oom & tannie' and from the day I got married, I called the Mom and Dad. They both are great people and I do consider them very close to me and never had any difficulty to accept them as my parents as well. It took a week or so to get used to the idea but all is comming natural now.

Gene

I am in the fortunate position of having great in laws, I had no problem calling them mom and dad from the day we got married. They even refer to me as "my ou seun."

If not mom and dad call them by them by their first names and see how they react. If they realize that for so many years you have not called them mom and dad I am sure they know it is not going to happen. You could always try mom and dad. It is not that bad.

Bull.....I'm not married, but thought of just sharing with you and others who might not been aware that blacks normally call their in-laws "mom" and "dad"......and I have been wondering why the difference with others......I'm looking forward to answers on this one....a Star4U!!!

Annie M

to be honest , i think if you call them "mom" and "dad"
they will be very happy. let them be happy. it's good thing .

Froggie

Yeah, they were really great and we got along from the start, but sadly we only have my father in law left, but have always called him dad and he treats me like his own flesh and blood, but I suppose you have to be comfortable in saying it also, hope this helps, goodluck! :)

eddie

They have names so that is what i call them.

TheFormerWifeBeater

mom and dad is more common now but Mr. and Mrs.
'theirlastname" is more acceptable until they invite you to call them mom and dad.

Road Runner

I call them by their christian names, Luckily for me - they stay far away from me - they are in Cape Town and I am in Durban - because we live so far away from each other, we tend to get on well.

cakes

My parents-in-law were such hicks, I could never have called them mamma und pappa. I always called them by their given names. But my grandparents-in-law were absolute fantastic people and I called them Oma und Opa. My husband called my parents mom and dad. My brother calls his parents-in-law by their given names, and his wife calls our parents mom and dad. SO come up with whatever you feel comfortable. ArenÂ´t there other children-in-law from whom you can take your cue?

My daughterÂ´s boyfriend calls us byour given names, so I take it if they marry, he will keep calling us by our names. Suits me perfectly.

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