Can you obey someone that you love without getting convinced ?

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Ranoush(ppl thumbed me down:p)

of course not,that's called slavery not love....
i used to be like this before but as i grew up i figured that i shouldn't follow someone just because i love him,this will lead me to nowhere..

I'm a human being and i have a mind of my own to decide what to do and what not to do,i don't agree on sth just because the someone that i love believe in the same thing..
he can either convince me with proof,or we seek a compromise...

Hope

Look Hasafer,

I am going to have to go with no on this one. You see, when you do something without being convinced, you ll hate whatever that thing is and might even feel a bit of resentment towards the person who made you do this thing.

But i guess the key word here is "OBEY".

You see i can only obey Allah swt with no questions asked, otherwise, i hold my free will to dear to me to part with it. Besides, in life if a person loves u enough and respects you, then they should value yr opinions and not force u to go against them. There is always a way to COMPROMISE to reach a middle ground where no one is hurt or offended or does anything against his will.

@ Hasafer: if they truely love me then they would know better NEVER to order me coz i won't be ordered around.

Wise Heart

Love itself convince

Ruby

lol yes! I do that with my husband sometimes when I have given up hope on trying to change his mind abt a certain thing, then I just do what he wants 3ashan araya7 dimaghi :D

oh_jo123

you don't OBEy anyone even in a marriage you compromise
I actually had those words omitted from my vows when I got married
The only person I'm going to obey to is me myself and I

Ahmed

It depends...if it's a simple matter, maybe i wouldn't mind ..even if i'm not convinced. But i would make it clear to her that i'm only doing this for her. If it's something crucial ,however, i think i wouldn't do it unless i'm convinced.

passionate

yes,sometimes.
to love someone,means to accept to leave a part of your freedom and own choices,to make another one happy,even if this thing isn't what you need.
and also to prevent a problem from happening.
but love is also a way of getting more freedom,it's hard to understand.
so the answer is YES,but not all the times,and it depends on what this thing is.
it's a matter of trust,and making the other one happy.

relator hallas

if i love that person then i would be easily convinced.

Adam

Yes, I love the prophet(saws) and although I dont always understand why certain things are allowed or prohibited, the Quran says "he who differs on what Allah and His messenger(saws) have decided are in plain error"

Moonrise

first, i want to welcome Wise Heart who is back with us.
2nd, i love God and the Prophet (SAWS).
i obey them without questioning , bec i have full faith in them.
i used to love and obey my parents till i grew up and had an independent entity.
now , loving someone does not entitle me to obey him.
i can be tender and kind , loving and caring, but i cant follow anyone's orders blindly.
but i wouldnt argue and raise hell, i would just express my point of view clearly .
i may evade doing anything concerning the matter discussed if it can be left hanging in the air , but if i have to act, it would be according to what i think is right.
however, i wouldnt be aggressive or self opinioned in any way.
moreover, i never ask the person i love to obey me in any matter.

7atem

Depends on how much you trust that someone

The Sunset(regainning points:D)

for sure
becuz i know in my deep that this one wants me to make something that'sn't bad or cuz harm to me

Kalooka

yes, it what lovers do mostly..

Katerade Turdo Fo' Sho'

Yes. I have a mind of my own. But am also a loyal partner.

I hope that is what you are asking.

samy n

yes i can but not in every thing thir is limits

Connie D

Yes, it is a matter of love and trust.

Yes because that is love, love is blind, but expect some times I get it wrong by obeying that trust

-humble :-(

Amara

hey hasfer,i hv heard dat ppl obey in love but i think everyone has its own thinkin...i will obey if he will convince me.. without being convinced no one can obey(my thought)...

The Clown

Everyday..........

saraowh :$

yes because u love this person

Eman G (Maganeno again)

No never.
I have to be convinced.

rhonda c

yes you can

ayubchy

Without getting convinced nobody can love someone.

Balsam

Welcome Wise Heart, as always your answer is wise. I wish to say that one can do things even if he/she is not convinced of as a compromise. In psychology books they say that things are not either white or black. there is an area that is grey. that area allows exceptions. if it matters much to my partner and it does not hurt me i may feel that for his sake i will do it, we can discuss it and i would tell him that for your sake i will do it. it will be a plus on my side and hopefully it would be returned. in relationships one should be flexible without bending.

THE-GREEN-VISITOR

Generally, one obeys those whom he/she loves or trust.

For me, it's very hard to do something without being convinced.

But if I highly trust and love them, I'll obey them.

Rokaya

depends on situation but yes yes and one more time yes.

Farah

My mind and my pride say absolutely not ... but my heart says yes. I know I will eventually follow my heart.

shabbirbhutta1950

Yes!

One's love have already convinced me.

MickyB

Sometimes you don't have to be convinced in order to do something for someone that you love ... that is why you love them!

Deadguy71

It's more about having faith in someone elses understanding of the situation, and perhaps the degree of importance of the decision. It also requires some degree of trust that they're looking out for your best interests.

For example, your mom says, "wear a coat, it'll be cold today." It's possible to just take her word for it and plan accordingly, rather than rushing to a weather broadcast and waiting for the forecast.

It's your faith in your mom's awareness of the situation, PLUS the fact that if she's wrong, all it means it that you carry your coat around.

It's easy to trust someone when the stakes are low, but the higher the stakes go, the more trust and faith that is required.

For example, Your mom says, "Oh my God, I need money immediately! Rush out and sell your car quick! We'll get you another car later."

Now you'd be like.. "ok?.. but why?" because the stakes have risen and you'd feel more comfortable with a reason to do it. When are you getting another car? what's the money for? Is this really neccesary.. Are there other options that your mom hasn't thought of?

If she said.. "please just trust me!" and the love, faith, and trust was there.. you'd do it without question.

But if, instead of saying "just trust me", she said, "Because the aliens will be right back and we need to buy them all shoes so they wont get mad!"

Then it becomes a different story.. Your trust is shaken.. you don't think she's making an intelligent decision anymore, and some convincing will probably be necessary.

Or, if she were to say "You don't need that car anyways, we'll get you one next year.. you can just walk the 6 miles to work," now your faith is in question.. It would certainly appear that she's not looking out for your best interest anymore.

Finally, if she said "because we need to sacrifice some people to a new god I just discovered," you'd also have a reason to hesitate, because she could be asking you to do something that you certainly wouldn't do because it goes against your own beleifs.

The point is.. in a big decision that affects you in a large way, obeying someone "blindly" is not always a good idea. It's also a sign of respect if that person takes the time to explain their reasons and gives you a chance to discuss whether it's a good idea or not, and give you the chance to disagree until you are convinced that the decision is a good one.

Otherwise, you could be taken advantage of pretty easily if someone decieved you into loving them when they really aren't worthy of your trust, or faith.

It's my personal belief, and one that my culture agrees with, that all people are equal, and therefore "obeying" someone isn't required, it's merely an option.

In some cultures, they do things a little differently, and women are often required to obey their husbands without question or hesitation. As cruel as that seems to some people (myself included), it's the way things work in those countries, and many people there would suggest that it works, and that it's a good idea.

Oddly, or perhaps not TOO oddly, that type of culture is much closer to how the bible suggests we are supposed to live, but then again.. the bible was written by men at a time where that was acceptable.

Perhaps the women in these other countries could unite and fight for equality like they did in our country (the USA) and be treated as equals like I feel they deserve to be. Until then, they're probably safer just following along and doing as is expected of them (or finding a way to escape it).

I firmly beleive that blind unconditional obedience is for slaves, not loved ones. Requiring it of someone is extremely disrespectful, however, if it is given willingly, then it's indeed a very trusting and faithful act.

I would do it in some circumstances, but there are definately limits. To say there were no limits would suggest that you'd blindly obey when told to do deplorable acts, such as killinig/eating babies or something, and I certainly wouldn't do that (nor would I maintain love for someone who expected it of me).

Hope that helps you!

Ps- one final factor to consider. I beleive we are all responsible for our own actions.. if you blindly obey without question, you run the risk of being responsible for what someone else decided you should do. It's your butt on the line, and sometimes it's better to just verify the facts first so you don't get into a lot of trouble.

Sahar

not really, but i can compromise and find middles, it all depends on the gravitÃ© of the action, if it's totally against my convictions and logic then i won't "obey", if it isn't that crucial like eating kosa wala betengan, i can live with or without either but i can't live without the person i love, the person i love will have to compromise for me in other things too, that is how it works :)

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