Egyptians, why do we....?

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¸¸.•*´`*♥ Farah ¸¸.•*´`*♥

I have just engaged in battle with a friend over this question of yours, Allah yisam7ik ya Ruby! For the guys claiming that this is sunnah why do they seem to forget that the Prophet (PBUH) stipulated that his daughter Fatma should be the only wife? Why do you forget that each and every marriage of the Prophet (PBUH) was for a reason and under certain circumstances at the time? And why do you forget that God said that you won't be able to be fair to both, and being fair is the main condition for remarrying? I dare any man to claim that he can be even a fraction of what the Prophet (PBUH) was to his wives. Why do you remember the polygamy part while forgetting the part concerning how to deal with your wives and how to treat them properly, isn't that sunnah too?!!

For those claiming that the poor unmarried girls deserve a chance too, have you forgotten that there are lots of poor unmarried men who can't afford to get married? Why not help a young man get married and take the thawab instead of remarrying yourself?

And I know for a fact that lots, I'm not saying all, of those girls who have passed the age of marriage and are still unwilling to compromise have refused lots of decent suitors before just because he was not 100% ready or was not handsome enough or any other stupid reason. Some prefer to pursue their career ambitions before getting married then realize that they are old and still unmarried. What right do those girls have after that to steal a husband from his wife and to wreck a home? If they want to marry they have other options such as widowers or divorced or older men. But no, they refuse to compromise and want to have it all. They go after a man who has that "all" forgetting that another woman struggled with him till they reached this point in their lives and achieved all they did. What right do they have to enjoy the fruit of another woman's toil? Lots of young people nowadays want to start from where their parents ended and have no wish to struggle for what they wish to achieve in life. They just take the fruit of other people's toil. It's sickening and disgusting, and for all I care they can stay spinsters for the rest of their lives. They had their chance and they blew it so they have no right to complain now.

The only reason I believe a man can remarry is if his wife is unable to fulfill her duties and obligations towards him. He has no right to do that just because he happened to become rich after his wife ista7milit ma3ah ilaraf and then 3eno za3'it 3ala wa7da tanya! Tafasa wi ilit adab!

Edit:
Thanks Ruby, I love you too Mwah! But still, Allah yisam7ik! hehehe My blood pressure hit the roof like it does every time I have this debate! I'm assuming that the thumbs down I got are from men! hehehe I was expecting more than that! lol

Zoser

There is a difference between allowed, and have to follow in Islam, yes male polygamy is allowed in Islam (till 4 of course)without any conditions than being fair (only in materialistic matters , emotion wise The prophet loved al sayda 3aisha more ..) , but there are things which are allowed and we for the sake of the peace in society , do not do them,, (well.. maidens are allowed in Islam, do you see that men are having maidens anymore but in some countries(in a hidden way)….a quick story: when they told Omer about a handsome man , he brought him and ordered him to cover his face , did not work so he ordered to cut his hair, then sent him away , to a different place, just because he was a danger on the peace of society … being handsome is not prohibited in Islam, but we do things to maintain the stability of societies even if it is allowed by religions,,,
Let’s look at some numbers:

Sex ratio in Saudi Arabia
1.05 male(s)/female under 15 years: 1.04 male(s)/female
15-64 years: 1.314 male(s)/female
65 years and over: 1.11 male(s)/female
total population: 1.196 male(s)/female (2007 est.)

Sex ratio in the world
at birth: 1.07 male(s)/female
under 15 years: 1.064 male(s)/female
15-64 years: 1.024 male(s)/female
65 years and over: 0.781 male(s)/female
total population: 1.014 male(s)/female (2007 est

We can see from the previous numbers that , the increase of the- unmarried females phenomena- is not due to the more number of females over male,, just males do not want to get married, or females only see and choose their dreamy men (the rest are invisible to them hahaha)
I am not a preacher, (left that to Adam and others) , the fact that Islam asked for the stability and the strength of families as small units of the society, would overcome the license which was given in a certain time, and circumstances
example :we have to limit the import/export of some products like clothing or some luxury food items, those are allowed by religion, but we do that for the sake of the society, I think religions give us the right to arrange our life according to our circumstances to achieve at the end their spirits , and the stability to our people

Edit : why we do not take' Abraham ', 'Sarah;, and' Hagar' as an example of the problems which can happened when married to more than one (and they are not even comparable to us ) where should a man take his second wife when the jealousy starts between the two women,,, to Antarctica,, ha?

***In a religious -male's culture dominant- society, what would be better, than wrong interpretation of the religion ,to gain a lead on women ,to satisfy and justify the greed of males’ desires? (betlakiko beldeen ya3nee)

…

Ranoush(ppl thumbed me down:p)

I'll tell you why...there are ppl who's complaining they don't have money to get married or even have the ability to propose to a girl...and others who marry more than wife...
i say this many times...Allah allowed this for specific reason...not for men's "tafasa"...sorry that's how i see it....

i say this stuff"bye7ye el sunna" in a show where the interviewer was sending his congrats to some shiekh for getting a second wife.....!
y3ny we are following every sunna of the prophet and that what is left?!! 7'las y3ny?!
i answered a q about this before and got the best answer ;)..I'll bring it for you
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkdR_LavR5Yk.507qRVnxlbty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20070815023119AAbPD57&show=7#profile-info-SGkRAPRgaa

and as far as I'm concerned ,I'd rather stay single,or a widow or a divorcee than to be the second wife...hell no!!

ஜ☆§weet Angel☆ஜ

I am not Egyptian but I will tell you what habibi answered to me when I asked him about it

Men do not have 2 hearts to marry 2 women.

Hope

"Love" between a woman and a man and vise versa, holds a lot of selfishness. U want the one u love all for yourself, they are prohibited to share their emotions, feelings and even their touch with anybody else. U want them to be exclusive. Nobody who "truly romantically loves" his partner can accept sharing all of the above with someone else.

If this is the situation for men why not for women too, aren't we all humans.

In most Arab countries u mentioned, their marriage is not for love, but more often arranged marriage between families so the concept of "true love" is not present. Off course they love their husbands but for many other different reasons.

@Farah: Allah yenawar Aleiky. Thumbs up.

samy

I think because the culture in Egypt is more Mediterranean than Arabian so we r much closer to the way Europeans see this (hey; i'm not saying we are not Arabs coz we are )just we are more open to euorpe.And also u might find it familiar in upper Egypt [sa2d] than ba7ari COZ MANY IN EL SA2ED ARE FROM originally arab tribes

Mohamed M

Hi, I suppose you said it yourself, Islam allows it, now if the individual does the other forood or not, it is his choice. Many men do all the forood and sunnas and yet they are married only to one woman and vise versa. Do you think getting married to more than a woman help in solving the problems of many women who missed the (train) as we say. By the way I am married to one woman do al the forood, miss some sunnas and not thinking of getting married again. Best regards and Ramadan mubarak.

gigi .

in an Aya in the quran said wa len ta3deloo u are not going to be fair ....i am not going to discuss it 3alashan maftesh (i dont want to say a wrong thing )..........................anyway i will tell u something in islam a man can marry another in certain circumstances and also a woman has the right to leave her husband in certain circumstances so does our societe will accept that ??????? will the man himself accept that?????.................................. know when a marrid women came to our beloved prophet Mohammed (3aleeh el salat we el salam) and she told him that her husband is sooo good and kind and religous and perfect but the proplem is that she feel that she doesnt accept him he told her what did he gave u when u got marrid she said a garden he told her then give him the garden and leave him ..............also a man s wife always shouted on him so he went to abo baker house to tell him about his wife he found that abo baker(rady Allah 3anoh) s wife is shouting at him then he went to omar ebn el khatab (rady Allah 3anooh)he found out that his wife also shouting at him then the man was on his way home Omar ebn Elkhatab saw him and told him what do u want to tell me ? he said i wanted to tell u that my wife is shouting on me but i found out that u are in the same situation Omar ebn Elkhatab said bema m3nah zawgtna byra3o el awelad we........fa mafehash 7aga law nesta7melhom

Edit: hey hasafer then what about the youth (men) who didnt get marrid is this a proplem for a man marries only one

I'm Blind not Deaf

In other countries men are rich, they dont marry women, they buy them and if anyone of these women did not accept, he will divorce her and get 100 other than her

Psycho

Assalamu Alikom,
First off;
Accurately Speaking, Islam did not ALLOW polygamy, Islam has LIMITED it to 4 wives, in Jahileyya they had no limits btw, plus, it has put some strict rules and defined the circumstances in which men may resort to polygamy.
Bottom line is, Islam didn't come up with the polygamy, Islam just refined the habit.

Secondly,
Some Islamic teachings are widely unaccepted in the Egyptian culture for different reasons;

-We have been occupied several times, by several nations, and for long periods indeed, many of which had different traditions/cultures to ours, and of course they affected us somehow.

-Poverty and Ignorance, and being vulnerable to some Islamophobic propaganda, many of the Islamic features have been misinterpreted over the time, and some people have been trying for ages to degrade them. Unfortunately, most of us get affected by Media and Gossiping perfectly.

-Now that's a fact, we lean so much, and we tend to copy different cultures in everything, and when something contradicts with what Islam has drawn for us, we go for the non-Islamic choice, it's an old complex.

-Some bad behavior and wrong deeds of fundamentalist persons and those who claimed they were practicing Jihad, (which they didn't) helped in forming the idea of "What is Islamic, is Barbaric" in our minds, and seeing them growing beards, and following the Islamic appearance while acting so ignorantly gave some people very bad impression of those features, that is, I can grow a beard freely and Europe and receive respect greatly, I can Appear a Muslim, and still be treated as HUMAN, while it's much harder in Egypt because of the little period Egypt was attacked by those so called Jihadies (which they were NOT)...and because of the Old Complex I've mentioned above..

Now when someone speaks about a Beard, people would think of it as something very superficial and shallow, and you start to hear things like "why would we only care for appearance....bla bla"...while a Beard does not necessarily refer to Surficiality whatsoever, a Muslim growing it as Sunnah (or Fardh in some Madhabs) would actually be very modernized and open minded than most of those who curse.

Same goes for polygamy, I believe I can only opt to it in some very, very certain, predefined cases...so I can't do it for the love of Women or Shahwa maslan, I believe.

But, whenever someone resorts to it, we shan't grant it as a Shameful act or speak bad about it this way, it's actually his Right, and it does help sometimes =)

Okay about the Old Complex, I didn't want to mention this, but someone I know and is very dear to our family, is a good Muslim, practicing the Sunnahs and the Forood as possible masha'Allah, and, one of the world respected Engineers, a Scientist, and oh, he grows a beard by the way ;)

I can't speak about my father, his job is not to be mentioned, but he's a telecommunication engineer who holds one brilliant position in the middle east, and oh, he's a good, practicing Muslim.

I myself have been studying mechanical engineering, involved in summer with several well-known companies, schlumberger, P & G, etc..organizing one of the largest student-run engineering conferences in Egypt, have very good experience in graphics design and practical life...yet I try to follow what Islam has told me, I pray in time, and I read Qur'an daily, I fast and I always opt to the "Islamic choice" whenever I feel confused, I grow a little beard and I don't look barbaric, wallahi you can look Islamic, and so neat in the same time, "En Allah Jameelun Yoheb Al Jamal"...

Desert Rose

I think we don't accept that because the man who married 2 women is usually not fair to one of them. Of course this is not what Islam stated for marrying more than once. If the man is fair to women they will be fair as well.

~ Noha ~

In my opinion .......
I would never (inshaa' Allah) get married except to a person who i do love soooo much .. so, I really can't imagine --and by the way,such imagining scares me :-( -- that anyone would share my husband to whom i'm totally faithful,honest,and loyal ... wallahy CAN'T IMAGINE ... eh el afkar deh ya Ruby !!!
and as Rana said .... this is nothing but "tafasa" .... so if he is like that ..... i swear .... he doesn't deserve my love .... and so to get divorced --in my opinion-- is the best thing to be done.... i do have honour .... alhamdulelah ...
also... never inshaa' Allah shall i be a second wife .... NO WAY !!!!

Btw, I've just finished reading a story by the brilliant writer Abdul Wahab Metawe' .... it's a true story of a widow narrating her personal experience :
Briefly ....,,, she is 44 ,she was married at 20 ,,she was sooo happy with her husband and believed his being honest&faithful ..
her husband died ... her heart was broken after his death ...
to her shock,she discovered after his death that he was married for the last 7 years to another woman (jawag 3orfi)
After reading such story .... i was really shocked and starts questioning the reality of faithfulness&loyality .... do such values continue to exist or has vanished with every other beautiful value which disappear lately coz of the new ugly materialistic life style that exists now .
i'm sad . :'-(

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@ Angel online :
I'm happy that your lover believes in that ..
but
others ... yes ... they don't have two hearts ..
on the contrary ............... they have no heart at all
:-(
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Edit :
I prefer NEVER to get married to get married to a person who is not totally in love with me and totally faithful and loyal
i really ........ don't care to get married ....... just to have the title [Mrs.] instead of [ Miss ] .....
what nonesense !!!!!!!
but i do know lots of girls who get married only for such a sa5eeeeeeeeeeeeeef reason

**********************************
@ Farah:
Allah 3aleky .... walahy howa dah el kalam..
btw, i'll arrange a meeting between you and my husband-to-be inshaa' Allah ..... why ?? ...... i'll tell you later :-p
*********************************
@ Hope :
Allah 3aleky ... walahy kalam ra2e3 ...mashaa' Allah
howa dah asdy belzabt ....
you too will be in the same meeting :-p

They CALL ME Farrooo7a

i do not agree, if you were a female , you will understand hows does it feel like to be ignored,
and how does it feel like to share your man with someone else, it just sucks , and even though am only 14, i realized how stupid it is, nowadays only ignorant people do that

Kalooka

because the society as a whole in Saudia is very much different than our society..it became closer to it those last 30 years though but it's still not the same...

Sahar

i believe it was allowed during certain periods of time under specific circumstances, islam also tells us to cut hands of thieves off, to stone and to whip, we don't; is that sin too ? i personally don't think so, and islam did not command men to marry more than one, it's a possibility, we don't have to accept it, he won't be committing sin, but a socially unacceptable act.

n.b: most who do marry more than one, do not do it out of charity, or out of helping out, or out of benevolence, but out of greed and vengeance, what would you say if a woman was allowed more than one man, how would you feel, it is so much easier to be on the other side and talk about jealousy, if your wife gets ill, the real good deed and your duty is to put up with the situation and her, i think god would compensate that more, you would be a better muslim or don't you think, instead of relying on your penis, rely on your heart, mind and soul, how about that for religion

n.b: i don't think allah is against peace between people, or those who long to see peace between the different races, colors and beliefs, if we follow your logic adam, i think god would also forbid the latin alphabet, and those who don't speak and write the language of the koran, thus forbidding you, no matter how many times you say elsalam 3aleikom and how many times you say islam is the answer, i think we need a sheikh's opinion, what manzela do you have ? and what about the years you spent as a kafer, because to follow your logic, still, not only those who worship idols are kofar, but anybody who doesn't follow islam is, so what kind of such a muslim is allowed to preach islam ? in my opinion you aren't allowed. you need special credentials to preach islam and to tell people what is right and what is wrong, i myself born muslim from a line of muslims do not allow myself to preach, and i don't take fatwas from anyone, only reliable sheikhs from elazhar. you are giving yourself too much credit just because you have joined the faith. the arab world faces real problems, that have nothing to do with avatars idols and pyramids, that have nothing to do with sin and no sin, we need thinking minds and brains, we need for the new generations to be inventive and creative, to analyze and solve, to produce, to think tomorrow.

in whose interest is it for our generations to only worry about getting veiled and entering a building with their right foot ? in whose interest is for them to think prayer is more important and more rewarded than hard work, in whose interest ? theirs ? ...

me you infront of god
let's see what god has to say, not you, not me, not any one on y/a or anyone in the world, me you infront of god, how about that mortal, and i'm full of confidence :) *tongue out

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

i am sorry but i am not the type of girl that would ever except ... that on myself... when a man chooces to marry someone else.. taht means that i am not enough for them.... i would get a divorce right then and tehre ... i now our religion allows it but... still my pride would come before anything else

^Butterfly^

1st of all i can never imagine my husband with another woman like u said i'd kill him.

2nd if we accept them to get married from more than one 7ateb2a heisaaa, 3ashan el welad bgd 3enhom fargha, i was at the hair dresser doing my hair yesterdayn he told me that he's getting married, n i was like how come u are already married and have 3 kids, did u fight with your wife he said no we're fine n she's a sweet heart...so i was like then why r u getting married from another, he said mesh a7san ma3'deb rabena el bent 3agbani....it made me feel disgusting about men, really, i felt that they r just following their instinct like the animals....what do u think about this????

a man who has to get married from another must have a serious reason to do that, n this is wt our religion says...

7aga te2ref....ma3lish i over reacted :(

Adam

Asalam alaikum. Im already ready for the thumbs down. :) There are allowable reasons for having more than one wife, some seem to our "modern"sensibilities better than others. Take Chechnya, soooo many widows, if a man were to marry one and treat her equally etc, she wouldnt have to struggle, and could be home to raise her children etc...A mans wife goes into a coma ( it happened here and he had a gf and children with her) of course the man loves her still and cares for her, but he is a man and has certain needs so he marries again to stay away from the haram . I sure you get my point. So sisters, please dont let jealousy prevent you from loving your fellow sisters in Islam and sometimes the only way for a widow etc to have support is to be a second wife. People say this was only in the old times, but its just not true, there are countless sisters in many places that need help....does it Have to be by marriage, no, but it certainly is not a bad thing.

Sahar, and all my brothers and sisters. One 'requirement' of being a muslim is to be an advocate of shari'a law. Yes we do cut off hands, have public executions, you can see them in KSA. I wont get into the debate about that it Must be done...but we cant shy away from what Allah(swt) has ordained, trying to make Islam look better to the 'west'. We risk diluting our own religion to the point that we are just like the west. subhanAllah

on last thing on avatars or signs etc, Displaying a star of David (as) a cross, etc, is forbidden, as it is imitation of the Christians and Jews. Please dont do this. There is hadith about offending Allah(swt) in ways we dont even know. Allah knows best.

Steevo

shut the **** up ur question is meanless . not all egyptians are the same some do some dont. btw egyptians are the dumbest creatures on earth.

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