Explain to me:why is this humiliating to the man?

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Zoser

Dear Rana,
I do not see that humiliating at all to men, i think it is more humiliating to men to oblige someone to stay with them against her/their will even for minute, It is not humiliating at all, it is just a condition in a contract, some people do not like conditional contracts, although the marriage contracts in Egypt are full of conditions,,so what is the problem,,,it is just a macho character would feel humiliated to put such condition, have said that ,I feel only the kaymah is so humiliated to a a man, if the insecured woman does not trust her man in some furniture, why should she trust him in (and herself?? (the same macho men accept that !!!!3agabi...........)
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Now quick explanation for Ruby , Eman , axe, and others: Al3esmah with the wife, does not mean she can DIVORCE her husband as a woman can not divorce a man, It is giving the power of attorney to the woman to DIVORCE HERSELF, so she can not say ""you are divorced"", but can say"" I Am divorced""(does not divorce a man but divorce her self from a man...at anytime the man can also divorce her as giving the power of attorney does not cancel the ability/right of the giver to use his original right)...the only difference between that and Al7'ol3 that she keeps her rights (maheer, alimony...etc) which is due when the divorce happens without the need to go to the court for that,, despite the fact that she initiates the divorce,,,so it is just money things,,,so is it only humiliating for the man when she takes her rights, but not,, if she leave them in al 7'ol3??

hasafer

not humiliating , if she wants to go she just have to ask , I can't force her to live with me against her own will , that's humiliating .

Kalooka

it's not humiliating, it's just shows distrust, because the normal thing between two people who agrees to marry is that they have mutual trust so it's a bad way to start marriage with doubts about your partner. ALso it's normal thing that if one partner wants out from this bond, to be granted freedom to make his/her own wish..and everyone is responsible for his/her actions..I mean who wants to live with someone who is not willing to live with you!?

passionate

it's NOT HUMILIATING AT ALL.
if i were a man,i'd accept it.
bel3aks,da ma3nah daleel aktar enno bey7ebbaha,3ashan sayeblaha 7oreyya teseebo law heyya 3awza fy ay wa2t,ma3na eda enno wasek fy nafso enno hay3amelha kowayyes.
zay malragel momken yetalla2 merato mengheer may2oollaha aw yesta2zenha.
3arfa howwa leeh shayfeenha humiliating?
because of the media.
heyya mesh fil7a2ee2a yenfa3 teegy wet2ollo..................MO7SEN,ENTA TALE2 MENNY YAMO7SEN.
LA2 TAB3AN.
BAS BET2OLLO....ana tale2 mennak entaa.
YA3NY HEYYA TETALA2 WA2T MAYE3GEBHA,WE DA 7A2AHA SHAR3AN,ZAY EL5OL3,ZAY TALAB ELTALA2,WE HOWA MAFROD YE2BAL.
fa mafeesh ay haga,homma men 7a2o yetalla2ha bardo 3ady yagama3a 3alafekra.
elnas elly fahma ghalat,laken heyya bas 3andaha keda bab warrany te3raf telga2lo law eldenya affelet ma3aha.
so,IT'S NOT HUMILIATING,except for some of our sy elsayyed minds,of eastern men's way of thinking,wana ba2ool SOME.
3ashan ghaleban kollohom fahmeen elmawdoo3 ghalat,mesh aktar.

~aXe

''al 3esma'' ?????

sorry dear but i didnt get your question... wat is ''al 3esma'' ??

Gigi (i wish i could)

you know why we are a developing country because of our minds u know she2oon el 2osra is soo unfair to women you know why is it unfair becasue of ppl like you all they become mothers and fathers and raise thier children like that (with shaloow way) and then when that man or woman become a ministre or someone who is resposible for law he will be soo unfair to women anyway as she must trust him he must trust her and there are women who sucrifice with thier maher or shbka dont you see he is not a man to accept that or you all follow what people say

â™ªâ™¥nadaâ™¥â™ª

that is exactly what make us break up a relation easily even if it's "Marriage", with its holiness and greatness !!!!!!

we started to give our relation (man-woman or husband-wife relationships) different "titles".......forgetting about or putting aside our feelings, emotions and love, that SHOULD be the basics of our relation......not who's holding more power or authority over the other.....and just changing that called Big & True LOVE, into a relation where we're just struggling and having fight with each other !!!!

i really find nowadays that those who're deciding to get married, are just preparing themselves to a Big War, in which whatever the "LOSS" is, One should end up being the Winner and that the other partner should lose the "game" with them !!!!!!!

we people should really start to reconsider how we are thinking about marriage, and our life with our partner, we should really ask ourself the same question you asked but in another way or actually in another direction, like : Why is this humiliating that.....
1) i didn't compliment him/her about this new ".." ??
2) i didn't show much attention to her/his "..." ??
3) i wasn't there beside him/her when they needed me ??

etc.......

that is really what we shall start to ask ourselves about !! :-)

~ Noha ~

msh ana wenty embare7 etkalemna fel mawdoo3 dh 3la estenferad :D ??
leh betefta7eeh tani?? howa ra2y msh kefaya?? :D

bossy ya benty... tani.. ana a7eb el ragel ragel wel bent bent ... i don't like changing roles
w b3deen lw howa asln ensan mo7taram 3omro ma hay7'aly wa7da 3la zemeto w heya msh tay2ah ..
and as Kalooka said before it's all about "trust"

bs begad 7assaha 7aga we7sha awii that the wife is the one who has "el 3esma"
2a2olek..wallahy kolha tasmyat w 7'alas....
ya3ny lw heya msh m3aha el 3esma...ma fe 7aga esmaha "7'ol3" .. momken te7'la3 w te7shy zy ma hya 3ayza :D
bs ana asdy 7aga..... ya3ny el tabee3y "el 3esma" fe 2eed el ragel ... w ma3na enha teb2a fe 2eed el set .. ma3na keda enohom beytef2o 3al tala2 abl ma yetgawezo asasan :D
"boss ya wad ... 7'ally balak ... a7san ana m3aya el 3esma ... emshy 3edel la 3'ozzak "
nyahahahahahahahahahahaha ..
dh ana ba2et bee2a awii *blush*
kollo mnk ya shoza enty we om za3bolla w maganeeno...
*sigh*

The Sunset(regainning points:D)

i like 7atem's answer

bygeeb men ela7'ir fa3lan

GOOFY-LOOK GOFY-LOCK GOFY-MIND

By nature man use his mind while woman use her heart

Ruby

just tell me one thing. How wil it sound/feel like when a woman tells a man "enta tali2"??? Even I cannot accept this for a man.

Far Away ( Still Lost)

if el3sma in the woman hand divorce rate will increase like crazy
if the husband had any conflict with his wife the esiest word she can say "Tala2neee", but the husband knows that she doesn't mean it as she is just upset , but if she has the 3sma she will say enta tale2 .......& deep inside her she didn't mean it she is just upset.
But most men (offcourse not all of them) thinks alot before saying this word.

Cutie Toty (Hakuna Matata)

i am with ruby ya rana

Moonrise

we have seen that only actresses and female singers who arent exactly moderate ask to have the 3esma .
therefore , girls who come from traditional families do not normally ask for al 3esma.
also, a man who accepts to marry a woman who asks for al 3esma isnt highly respected.

by the way, the 3esma with the woman doent really protect her.if she divorces her husband , the 3esma arrangement is gone , and he can get her back without her consent .
so, it isnt really worth the trouble.

7atem

if you find someone who will accept this.. maybe you'll be happy at first..
but believe me .. mel a7'er

you'll be missing something deep inside you

well...i guess it`s against the human nature!

have a nice day
LOL

DNA

i need to understand why do u need to understand it doesn't need any understanding.

@noha: nice of u

Eman G (Maganeno again)

look Rana i don't accept this, i agree with Ruby.

Shekh Sha3rawy - God Bless Him - said it is acceptable but el ragel da 7an2ool fi 7a22o 7agat keteer.

A man is a man in my openion and i cannot call it equality between both sexes otherwise God (swt) kan created us all one sex not two.

mesho f

it is not humiliating to the man, it is against norms, so it is weird.

pero_102

the kama sutra or the "bible" of love says "men by nature despise women who are easily get." But that is a general rule applied to materialistic men, not to spiritually enlightened ones.

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