For both guys and girls:how far can you compromise for?

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relator hallas

i'll tell you something my mom haven't finished high school and she raised me.
now i am one of the excellent students in my college, even though she didn't have any certificates her mind was so smart to raise me.
so i think it's ok completely.

ÃÃ… MÃ…N â˜º â˜»

i wouldnt care about their "worldy" education, rather if they are religious or not

Bachar

if shes what im looking for and open minded and knows her instincts than yes i will marry her.
just becuz ppl are well educated that doesnt make them smart,you have to be smart in general life.

à®œâ˜†Â§weet Angelâ˜†à®œ

I don't mind if the person I love has a lower education level because the most important thing is love.

The education level does not make a person: values, feelings, integrity, moral and those things are important.

What would you prefer:

A husband with a high level education but who does not care about you? who makes domestic violence to you and your family? who is with you just because he is married with you but he does not love you?

or

A husband with a lower level education but who cares and loves you as the queen of his life? Who works hard so you and your family would be ok?

But as gigi said the problem is that some boys do not accept that their wives have a higher level education or a better job.

THE-GREEN-VISITOR

I thought once it's not at all the point when it comes to marriage what the educational level of both is, you may disagree with me but now I think about it differently.

I won't g that far like your friend's parents but at least the difference should not be that great, not a doc or a scientist to marry an illiterate woman that can't even read nor write, I think it can't be a successful relation simply because such a huge difference will hinder any possible relation from being built and sustained. Any couple have first to be able to communicate effectively to be happy one. However this is the rule and, like any other rule, it may have some exceptions, but exceptions does not mean breaking the rule itself, on the contrary, it emphasizes it.

gigi .

the proplem is not in the girl but its in the boy

will he accept to see his wife more successful ???

edit: thx cool tweety
edit: yea if i saw in him what i want in the man :D
edit: hey rana for me if i saw someone who for example has less education to help his mother sister his family and he is mokafe7 u dont know how i respect these guyss very much u depends on him self...i dont like who depends on his parents only (fafy)

Cutie Toty (Hakuna Matata)

i am with gigi ya amr

actually, "Slave of Allah" has said what i wanted to say.....
this is my opinion as well !!

you have to be married to someone of your level, may be a bit lower.......but to be very slight.
tell me why ??......... i'll tell you, that may be you really love the guy, but when think of it after marriage, you'll find that the level you were used to live in while with parents, is the same you want to live with your husband and children.......not lower !!

btw, prophet Muhammad (pbuh) also said that they should be of the same level so that marriage can be successful !!

sra2fat

I think he must be at the same level of my education or higher
I cant imagine anything rather than that &
Islam confirms Altakafo2 for the seek of the family

when there is a gap in educatuon & way of thinking between the parents , it will be reflected on their sons who notice that sooner or later

In my poor opinion , deen is first but education follows

hasafer

if she is openminded , i don't care

Wise Heart

I think acceptance rules and the partner with a lower education can make a change and improve. I may make this compromise if I accept the person and this person is trying to improve.
Nowadays many university graduates act and have knowledge like illiterate, so let us evaluate with something else. Our education system is not a good measure for people.

Luv Rulz

i don't like this way , i love to marry soeone i want , not my parents want !!!! ya rab anga7 fe sanaweya 3amma we adkhol kolleyet el handasa !!!!

Crazy girl

For me it is not important about his education. What is important is what he contributes to the relationship. As he could have the best level of education but not be able to have a good relationship.

Also for me the work he chooses to do isn't important or the amount of money. I want to be able to talk to him about our relationship and what are important to us and he won't learn that in education but through experience from life.

Abdullah

asslam 3alikom.

actually the most important thing that i look for_all guys should look for it_is her deen,i dunt care if she is engineer,a doctor,...etc if she has no deen,what will happen if she is a famous but no deen?she will be very rude,dnt care about her house or her house,...etc.

but those days,parents refuse to marry their diughters to diplomat graduate,as they are in total absence about relegion,no one care about al deen,the most impotant thing_in their minds_is his salary,his money,his car,....etc

allahom ehdy al ahaly walshbab walbanat,

wa7asbona ALLAH wan3m alwakeel

Last Pharaoh

can i copy & paste hasafer's answer

" if she is openminded , i don't care"

Adam

Asalam alaikum. My wife 'compromised' as you put it. She is Dr. I am only high school graduate. We married for deen first and foremost. When a man chooses a wife, he looks for the 4 qualities, and Im sure we all know that the deen is the highest of those. The parents should only refuse based on certain criteria, university degree is not one of them. The hadith basically says, "3 things should not be delayed, salat when its time has come, the burial of the deceased and the acceptance of proposal when a suitable man asks for your daughter" This is generally accepted to mean his deen....There are concerns that a couple should have somewhat similar levels of social status, or education etc, but its really sad when parents are sooo picky. It is a great cause of fitna in the umma that is has become so difficult to marry. may Allah(swt) guide us all as HE knows best.

By the way, i have a daughter nearing marriage age. And as long as the br that comes to ask for her, is of good deen, and I feel he will really try hard to support in this dunya and guide her to the Jennah, i dont care if he is the man that sweeps the parking lots, or is a rocket scientist. ( it would be nice if he owns a shwerma stand though ;)

May I add one thing; I dont have a unveristy degree....however if a man or woman has degree in say electronics, how does that have anything to do with how they will converse about say agriculture? I mean being well rounded is in my humble opinion far more important. I know people with ph'd's that can only speak with any interest in their field, cause thats all that interests them, yet i also people havent even finished high schoo, that can talk intelligently about many many subjects. Formal education is no replacement for life experience...although im all for it of course.

naserq2

to compromise
i saw some are now in late thirties are nt married out of that
i would not call it compromise because to compromise means that you put certain category for the expected partner
while life is not so
life is to meat to like to think to encourage or make the offer ,it is not like a computer system to accept or refuse plus or minus 10% its not that way
unless you too young or suffering from lack of knowledge

Tut

The quality of make the most from the relationship is far more concerned than the level of education a partner have...

It just a mindful delusion that this things become more complicated for some of us..Yes it is good to have a high education partner but at the end of the day it is sign of nasty propagandha made by some envy people....

pink

you can marry whoever you want to
if you want to set standards you can
but its better if you marry only if you are in LOVE with that person cause remember that person is who you are supposed to spend your rest of your life with

Ruby

No, I won't compromise. I'm a university graduate and I married a university graduate and wouldn't have gone for someone who has a lower educational level. I know of course what matters the most is his deen, but if u can have someone religious with an equal degree then what's the problem? This also has to do a lot with traditions. I don't like to be looked weirdly at when ppl know I have a higher degree than my husband's. u know "elshaklyat" matters a lot in Egypt and among Egyptians in general. Another issue I would be facing is that I won't be able to get along with my husband very well as we both have different levels of ed. and won't be able to share info and knowledge together. Also, some men act like psychos when they feel that a woman is more successful than they are, and life with such people would be a living hell!

Adham 1910

of course there should be a relationship between the eductional levels
w kaman fi 7aga lw wa7ed aw wa7da in handsaa eah elly 7ay7'liha tt3aref 3ala sani3 assasen men elassases
u will drive me crazy
sweety:i will not agree lolz

â™¥sweetyâ™¥

ofcourse rana u wouldn't agree honestly ya3ny for a guy who's less level education than u
but not being so determined so that the one who i'll choose must be this or that no but he shall be as me or over that
ya3ny masalan 2na doctora ezay i'll agree on fanny no but i can agree on zra3y mashy, zabet, mohandes or like me
do u get my point?

saraowh :$

some times

^Butterfly^

i can never get married with someone who is lower than me in society living and education...and i'm not saying this out of pride, it's just beacause it will cause a lot of problems in the futur which we cant see in the begining of the relation.
i just wanna say that love is not everything, love is just one beautiful thing but it will be better when u find him appropriate for you...

Desert Rose

maybe i wouldn't mind but in case he is literatured and open-minded. But as those two conditions are found mainly in high educated ppl so, i prefer him to b educated.

Duke of Tudor

Her personality is the one I count most.

Eman G

look Rana i saw many examples of what u're describing.
when the husband has a lower level education after a while he'll be mad at this and always tries to compensate his situation either by making lots of money or by beating his wife every day in order not to make her reminds him that she has a higher education level

so for me... i can't live with this
at least he must be a university graduate

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