Funny Quotes, which you like best?

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Pinky

LOL,i loved all of them,and all are pretty true!
My fav one is "The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom." LOOOOL that was funny.

Now heres my fav quote:
If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!

conde_c_b

my favorite saying, that i enjoyed very much, is:

The road to success…….. is always under construction.

♫ Chloe ♫

They're all great, but I liked these the most:
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
The road to success…….. is always under construction.
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak. LOL
If at first you don't succeed…. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker. (it happens all the time...)

I read some somewhere, i remember few of them:
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. -
Rodney Dangerfield

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. - Clarence Darrow

Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.

That all too common piece of advice 'Don't let it get to you' makes about as much sense as advising someone who's been cut not to bleed

Why when something bad happens to me; it's fate. And when something good happens; it's luck

"A fool can always find a greater fool to admire him." - Nicolas Boileau Despréaux (French poet & critic)

Once you get onstage, everything is right. I feel the most beautiful, complete, and fulfilled. I think that's why, in the case of non-compromising career women, parts of our personal lives don't work out. One person can't give you the feeling that thousands of people give you. - Leontyne Price

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off. - Stephen King.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette

"I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed."

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

A man may as well open an oyster without a knife, as a lawyer's mouth without a fee.

manel

i like all of your quotes...i find it very funny but what i like best 1) Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
2) All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

p.s. i hope you won't mind if ever i will use one of your quotes to my blog - shout outs. thanks for sharing ;>

fatboycool

I tried to pick one, but I could not. So many of the examples of Murphy's Law are true. I liked the first one a lot, because it is a sad sentiment but the speaker is still cheerful.

Kalooka

The problem of life is that there is no background music.

soar_2307

lmao. they were all good.

Dogness

Since light travels faster than sound....... is pretty cool. Don't forget Murphy's second rule "When in doubt, empty your clip".

QuestionQueen

"In order to get a loan. you first need to prove you don't need it" cuz its true. LMAO!!!

Mr. & Mrs, RICK & KRIS C & H

They're all pretty good . Murphys' Law, ya. I get mad at Murphy a lot. Wanting to find out exactly who he is, and where he is, so I can choke him.

Dr Universe

LMAO they all are great

Havana Brown

They're all pretty funny, but I like the first one:
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

And the fourth one:
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

backpackwayne

I laughed out loud on this one:
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

Here's another one I always liked.
"My mother never understood the irony of calling me a son-of-a-*********"
Quote credit: George Burns

SonOfSun

If you have paper, you don't have a pen……. If you have a pen, you don't have paper…… if you have both, no one calls.
that's the life

Reasonable

To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

The road to success…….. is always under construction.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

If at first you don't succeed…. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

Kate

I like "the road to success…….. is always under construction"

that's true too...lol

"If at first you don't succeed…. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried."

I've always liked that one.

Dave

The 1st one.

fatma

hey beautiful,they are absoloutly great !!! especially "about the brightness b4 ppl speak" lol

mmoonnii

Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

Cpt. Amazing

They are all great however alcohol is the solution to and cause of all of life's problems.

PhatBeatz

I am going to give you my favorite quote.
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most!"

violet

When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

hahaha, they are all so true

Amanda P

i like these: The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom & The road to success…….. is always under construction.

G Bone

Thanks for sharing! You deserve 100000 stars!!!

Mine was:
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

liquid_moon13

Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

buttercup =)

The road to success…….. is always under construction.

dream_angel

They're all good but this is my favorite one

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

blackROSE

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
thnx a lot for such interesting things-------really thnx.

imputh

i like the one about the loan. pretty true lol.

bearstirringfromcave

Thanks for sharing with three million others...

Peace.....

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