Hey please help i live new in Saudi Arabia i my daughter fell into trouble.?

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carl

......the best way is to be calm when you go to her school to understand the whole situation and hear both sides.....your goal for coming to school is not to shout to the teacher to get even to your daughter but to resolve the problem that your daughter experience. Maybe, she's afraid to go to school now since she experience this to her teacher. You should know the whole story first then explain your side that children should not be punished physically because even you dont even do that to your daughter.......good communication is still the key to resolve the issue and not to repeat the same mistake again.....remember this, nobodys perfect and everyone makes mistakes......

Just me

What does Islam have to do with the subject?

First of all, even Muslim girls dont need to wear hijab in class. Saudi schools for women are all-female schools and they dont wear hijab at all times like some think.

Secondly, teachers are no longer allowed to hit on the hand with a ruler and similar punishments. So a complaint can be filed.

Face being slapped can get some people fired for good.. thats NEVER normal and never has been, unlike hitting the open hand with a ruler.

You didnt mention she was slapped by who? Was there an arguement with other girls? Then you say they saw her without hijab in class as if it was something related to the story? What does hijab have to do with it?

If a teacher slapped her, you immedietly go to the school. You dont wait til they ask you to come. Why didnt you go? I feel something is wrong or incomplete with the story here, especially that you said "her school mates saw her without hijab in class" .... ANY Saudi girl at an all-Saudi all-girl school would think "so what? its a girls school"

Something is wrong either with your story or in describing the story. Maybe a language barrier, I dont know.

Dogbreath

I would get your family out of there, unless you like living in the crude narrow-minded atmosphere of an Islamist state where women are required to wear clothing that makes them look like sacks of potatoes.

iyikka14

A country where human rights have little value, I don't know what to say. Maybe you could move her to a different, more liberal school. I don't know if you can, but I'd certainly sue anyone that struck my daughter. I have the feeling that this maybe a norm for these countries... I'm so sorry..

SalaamZ

I am pretty positive that teachers are not allowed to hit students. I have a friend that attend school in Saudi for 12 yrs and it was an american school and she enjoyed it. Maybe take ur daughter to the american schools in Saudi. Also they wont make her wear the hijab (its not suppose to be forced on anybody anyways). Talk to the principal and any other authority figures.

Also its against islam to hit someone in the face so idk you can make that point although i doubt it has much to do with religion!

elisa985

there is a vacation in Saudi Arabia now !!

schools are closed now !!

beside there is NO WAY your daughter can go to a Saudi school !! in case if you don't know they study in ARABIC !!

please next time make a better story !!

Kevin

why the hell would you move from america to saudi arabia. anyway sew the creep that hit your daughter

M A

1- School has been out in Saudi for weeks.
2- as a non-arab you doughter would not go to a Saudi a school.
3- Saudi school are NEVER open on a Thursday.... its the weekend, and there are NO weekend activities in Saudi Schools

ameen(out for long time)

Lisa,

I didn't believe a word from what you said.
Now, this section started to get into the childish behavior,

First of all your account is new, created 13 July, with 0 answers, so you created this account to post this question. As a Saudi, it took me 2 weeks after joining Y/A to spot the Saudi section and the type of discussiong that is going on here.

So, with a big problem, in a froeign land, 2 months only? and you spotted directly where to ask?

Second, if you are really latin american, then you would enroll your daughter in one of the international schools.
Actually, you almost cannot enroll her any where else.

International schools here are mixed, and girls are not expected to wear Hijab. Boys and girls do trips together, party together. It is just one another british or american school by in Saudi Arabia.
Actually these schools atmospheres are so nice, simple and cool, and usually next to the compounds.

Third, even in Saudi schools, what you have said, never ever happened to my older sister 20 years ago.
In reality, it does not happen at all. It never happened to me and I am a boy and I went to govenment shool when I was a kid.

Fourth, as a froeigner, you always got your embassy. Usually, for any problem, case, or issue, the expat call the embassy directly and they guide him/her.

I can add, you never been to Saudi Arabia, otherwise, you would have made out a better story that you can get away with it.

Waleed : )

Alhamdulilah

I am also very skeptical of your story. No one here is forced to wear hijab. It's not a law. You see foreigners all the time without hijab. If you're here from Latin American and not muslim, then why would your daughter be wearing a headscarf if she doesn't want to? Also, like many others said, it's not required to wear it in the girls only schools. Also, how is she in a Saudi public school instead of an international school? Any contracts for employment of foreigners who are allowed to bring their families should provide an allowance for schooling, which allows you to pay for an international school, so there's no reason your daughter would need to attend a Saudi school. If she's 16 and only been here for 2 months and in a Saudi school, how did she learn Arabic so quickly? And, if your daughter attends an American or British international school, the chances of her having a muslim teacher are small. Plus, being hit by a teacher has nothing to do with Islam anyway....

I'm sorry, but there are too many holes in your story to make it believable.

Jordan B

hey Lisa u should go up to the school ask them is it allowed to hit kids if no call the police press charges and take them to court because there not allowed to hit kids at school anymore press charges of child abuse their not allowed to abuse your child.

BuffED

A strange question
Are you in Saudi schools or international private school?
If in Saudi School..I have never heard in my life that there people from South America studying in Saudi government schools ..You got to be kidding,,Because no one does it here
if international then you got an expat boss ..go to him
Stop producing fact about Saudi that is not real..Rare to have a case of hitting in schools,,Hitting is banned by the eduction ministry...

crispysushi

Lisa, why are you asking here where you can go to the headmaster and complain to him?
The second thing, girls are NEVER EVER wearing Hijab at class!! Never>> so what school is your daughter attending?
Are you sure itâ€™s in Saudi?

Just be clear and tell us in which area you are staying and what the school name is and I can give you some telephone numbers to contact.

I hope this is not a question to give a bad impression of the Saudi society.

Good luck

Love.Life.Love.Jesus!

Well, this very sad and disturbing!

well firstly i must ask why live in Saudi Arabia which is known to possess very strict laws!

Secondly, i would advise you to find out whether hitting Children in school is allowed because if it is then Sue-ing won't work

Livia

This isn't your country, and the laws are very different. You might consider homeschooling your daughter if you don't want her subjected to this kind of treatment. There are different ways to look at this dilemma. You want to raise her to understand that it is not right to raise your hand to another person, especially to a child. You are sending her to a place where people seem very ready to raise their hands to your child for incredibly minor mistakes. If you allow her to stay at the school, what message are you sending to her? Will she learn that you have to learn to conform to society to avoid pain? (Not the worst lesson in the world, I suppose). Or will she learn that her parents are willing to let her endure abuse in the name of doing ;what is conventional, i.e. schooling? Will she learn the beauty of Islam in this abusive setting? Will you allow her to go to a Saudi School as if it were some sort of survival boot camp? Has it occurred to you to find out what the viewpoint and political agendas of the school and its teachers? For those viewpoints will be taught, no matter how "objective" the curriculum. Is your daughter mature enough to think for herself as she is socialized into the beliefs of another society and culture?

In the meantime, you can prepare yourself for the meeting at the school if you plan to attend it. You might talk to your daughter to find out exactly how it happened that she forgot her books and came to be seen without here higab in class. Ask her exactly what the teacher said to her and exactly what she said when she "answered back" and whether she was humble or a little defiant, just so you know what was going on in her mind at the time. And ask her if she feels some discrimination from the teachers or other students, as well. It isn't impossible that someone has an irrational dislike of her, making her the object of harsher punishment than she would otherwise have received, I suppose.

It may help you to plan to be calm and have a list of questions so that you can find out how often and for what reasons a child might be punished in this way - whether forgetting books, answering back, chewing gum. You can ask why they think that ;violently punishing a child from a completely different culture for the first few infringements of rules should be punished so violently. You can ask if they truly thought that your child had wilfully broken the rules, and how they think that they are qualified to judge what goes on in another human being's mind. If you think your child has been punished more harshly than other students with similar infractions, this is a good time to bring up those examples, too.

As for the school officials and teachers....they probably want things to go smoothly at school, and they want to make sure that as parents, you support their ways so that your child doesn't disrupt the discipline they have set in place, or set a bad example for the other students by forgetting books and talking back to teachers. They won't see parenting or learning in the same way that you see it. Your child is at THEIR school, and to remain there, she needs to adopt THEIR ways and that includes their ways of discipling/punishment.

If you can get some leniency from them, that would be great...I think an appropriate consequence for forgetting your books is to have a negative GRADE, vs a beating. And the consequence for talking back might be to be sent home and to get a zero on your remaining work for the day. Maybe you could negotiate something like that. You never know until you ask! If you ask for, and get, and apology from the teacher(s) to your daughter, that would be a miracle. I'm pretty bold, so I would probably ask for that....but I wouldn't expect it, knowing what I know about Saudi. Still, you never know!

And like I said, homeschooling is a great option, too. There is a wonderful organization called HSLDA (Homeschool Legal Defense Assoc) at www.hslda.org, that has been working with a lot of countries all around the world to gain and preserve the right to homeschool. They can probably put you in contact with people that can help you get started, if you are interested in that path.

Good Luck!

It is ILLEGAL for the teatcher, ANY TEATCHER to strike a child in Saudi schools. Not even the school principal is allowed to apply physical punishment of any kind. This is FACT.
HOWEVER, applying the system depends on how percistant you are. DO NOT TAKE IT laying down.
Complain to the principal, and tell her that you will escalate it to the regional school board, and if they don't respond, escalate it to the Ministry of Education.
The sad fact is they are more likely to listen to you higher up because you are not Saudi.
If all else fails, send a letter to letters@arabnews.com which you must allready know. I do not like their politics but they are like a pit bull, if they get their jaws on something, they won't let go

lomatar1186

cÃ³mo estÃ¡s, de donde eres de america latina?

unfortunately in saudi arabia, the teachers can hit the children, i used to get hit all the time for misbehaving, lol. anyways, i think a better solution for u daughter is to study in an international school, i don't think they hit there.

Gigi

As just me said, girls dont have to wear hijab in school. Now regarding the hitting, it is an old practice that some teachers could apply, but it is not legal and it has been banned.

If I were you, I would write a letter of complaint and then take pictures if there are any marks on my girls hands from the ruler.

Then I would go straight to the school to see the headmistress and have the teacher come to her office to give explanations.

I would demand an apology and promise that it would never happen again,,,,and if it did! I would not only change school, but also file a report with the educational authorities to investigate.

God save Islam from Terrorists.

Dear first of all please dont connect her teacher's personal action to Islam....the rest of the world is quite different than the western world even in a non muslim country like india nepal etc you will see a student brutally beaten by the teacher......Its very rare to see if she was studying in some good private school any ways in present condition you could do this ......You must go to the principle and talk to her/him......if you feel that marks are clearly evident you may visit a nearest police station and have a talk with some officer who will guide you in detail........last you could try filing a suit against the school. Every where you will get a good response.

Soul

dear sister...
what you wrote has a lot of confusing data as brother waleed kindly stated...still i'll assume you're telling the truth (or at least tried to as best as you can) and here's the thing:
it is illegal for any teacher to hit or use any violent behavior against students in saudi arabia....it is against our faith and our culture as well as against the law. so if any sort of "hitting" took place...go to the school and raise hell...if they don't take any diciplenary actions including suspension against this teacher...go through the system , ministry. if all fails....then go to a prince/princess, the media, and if necessary...your embassy although i very much doubt you'll fail to get a fair treatment in all previous suggestions.
i have to say that i'm a saudi woman and i've studied in saudi schools as did my sisters and mother and most of my friends and relatives and not once have i heard any of them mention such a behavior in any of the schools we went to (both government public schools and private saudi schools) and that covers up to 35-40 years back...
there might be single rare cases where this happens..i can't deny that for sure...but those are isolated cases depending on how committed the teacher and the school are in enforcing the law and understanding thier role...
so don't doubt your position for one sec, go to the school and talk to the headmistress and demand speaking with the accused teacher....if they both are arabic speaking i suggest you take a friend to really get the communication going clearly with no margin for misunderstandings...
i would like to mention that we do not force non muslims to wear Hijab in saudi arabia, in my city...jeddah, you can walk around with no head scarf...you and your daughter.
schools have no authority on any female student besides abiding by the uniform (if they have one)....international schools do not require hijab and are co-ed....so your daughter should be enrolled in one of those...
saudi schools do not require hijab in the school simply because they are segrigated: schools for girls only and others for boys only....and women in islam and therefore saudi are only required to wear the hijab when they reach a certain age (when they get their period) and are around males that they are not directly related to. the schools only ask the girls over certain age to wear the hijab when entering and exiting the main gate of the school...
hitting and abusing kids is not normal or common in saudi society....especially in schools and by teachers....go to the school, hear both sides of the story, get the facts straight...and then act upon them...just like you would anywhere else

dmaud56

I hate to tell you but, in meditarranean cultures, or a cousin culture like Saudi Arabia that is, middle east culture is a culture that's a cousin to mediterranean, many teachers are abusive. Throughout the med, and in latin america itself, in many private schools, sometimes parents give the teachers permission to use rulers. In places of Latin America, the catholic schools still teach "old school."

Even here in America; Irish and Italian americans will tell you stories about how they used to be rapped by nuns with rulers. I had friends in Latin America as a kid who got struck with wires.

What happened to your daughter is nothing, so let me state it could have been worse. Considering the nature of Saudi Arabia, trust me, it could have been much worse. Just have her adhere to the rules, and there will not be any problems.

What you need to understand, is two things;

1) Saudi Arabia is a police state and

2) Arab culture itself, is rigid, inflexible, and very rule oriented. There are a myriad of religious rules, and cultural rules, and the reason the Arabs are so hell-bent in having their lives governed by them, is the beduin past.

In the desert, there is a maxim that says "the desert is a harsh mistress, but kind to those who follow her rules." Indeed, breaking ANY rule of desert survival, means certain death. They figure that what works for the desert, works in life, that is their attitude, so do not expect flexibility. Your daugher broke a clearly written rule as far as they are concerned, and the matter is not open for debate. That is how they will see it, so prepare yourself psychology however....

DO complain that the teacher had no right to hit her. That a society follows rules, and conforms and adheres to them, is respectful as it represents civility however, no rules should be enforced in an abusive manner like that, broken law, or no broken law, I think physical punishment in Islam is reserved only for the most severe transgressions, but not something so trivial as not wearing a hijab.

Here is the point I am trying to make; I careen down a highway at 95 mph, when it clearly says 45, I expect a hefty ticket. However I careen down that same highway at 95 mph when it says 45, and I get shot in the foot by the cop, then we have a problem. First, reassure them, and to make sure it happens, that your daughter will not break the rules again, and secondly do protest to have the teacher disciplined.

Rules should never be enforced abusively, its that simple. The teacher could have just sent her home or something, what she did wasn't right.

Mintee

I am from SAudi and I am an english teacher.. This is NOT normal...
You definately should complain to the Principal of this school..
Just as in any country there are teachers who try to abuse their authority... and yes there are some who probably hit children for dicipline, but that doesnt make it right...
There are good schools and good teachers who dont hit. And frankly what sort of school forces the girl to wear hijab..
All the schools ive been to, yes the girl might wear a hijab upon traveling to and from school, but while in the confines of the school and all girls/women, they can remove their outer covers and move about freely... Every single school ive been in, this is the norm...
I am so sorry for your daughters treatment, you really need to complain, and if you have the support of a native speaking female friend, bring them along to help translate.. goodluck!

edit:... I am becoming sceptical of this whole post as well
schools have been closed since June, and no school is open on Thursdays. Also you are foreign and have no knowledge of arabic, so a 16yr old will not be thrown into an arabic school.. she will be in an international school that speaks english and allowed to wear western attire, ie: no hijab (also no girl wears hijab in schools anyways).... Also the other point, how did you manage to open a new yahoo answers account and immediately know which section to post under, most dont.. anyways.. too many holes and questions about your initial post.. sorry...

ayub khan

Saudi is an easy place to adjust if you abide by the rules, yes agreed the laws are difficult to adhere to and wearing Hijab is when you go out of your home, schools generally are not co education so there is mostly no need for you to wear a Hijab. BTW you are in KSA to make something then you also loose something, coming to some1 saying wearing hijab makes woman look like potato sacks see the actual point is when you don't any get to see skin you don't feel the urge, thats the actual point here. Being used to seeing women half clothed you don't want them to be covered up. And mind you the Hijab is Black. Also there nothing you can do about Suing some1 or going to court and you can do all that probably if have nothing to do.

nono

1. Which school does she go to? They are NOT allowed to hit your daughter.

2. She doesn't really have to wear a head scarf at all times, only when the "Mutawa'a" passes by...hehe

Sohaib

Lisa as much as i hate to admit that is true ....that doesnt mean thats what islam says so i hope you dont link that to islam, People have a different mind-set in those countries. Same thing happened with my little borther in pakistan and i almost ripped the principals head off. DONT take this lightly, stand up for it and talk to that teacher as to how dare she do such a thing. Atleast this way your daughter will feel better too cuz then she will know she has someone who can stand up for her

abusinansayf

There is not much you can do. I am an American man married to a Saudi woman. The environment is much different in Saudi and a teacher hitting a student is not considered unusual. If she was disrespectful or rude there is nothing anyone can do.

I suggest if she cannot live according to Saudi law then she needs to go back home. She can get in MUCH worse trouble than this. If she meets a guy she likes it could end up with her being put to death.

Either she learns to follow the rules or it is best for her to go home before she ends up in A LOT more serious trouble.

I know that sucks...........but welcome to Saudi Arabia.

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