How can you tell when a person is Jewish? Is it by the last name?

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Troll Terminator

I don't think u should judge people by their last name. Just because someone's last name might sound Jewish doesn't necessarily mean they are Jewish. If you want to know whether someone is Jewish or not, just try getting to know them. And even though I'm not Jewish, I think everyone should be treated as equal regardless of their race or religion.

z k

I am sorry. I apologize for all those Jews who made you feel like you didn't belong.
I guess that in accordance with Jewish religious laws you are not Jewish, but it doesn't give anyone right to treat you badly and call you names.

I am half Jewish also, but from my mom's side, and I went through some tough teenage years, though Jews didn't have a problem with me, it was gentile teens who did.

Michael J

You aren't treated any differently, that's just the way of things if your mother isn't Jewish. Being "raised Jewish" isn't enough to actually BE Jewish. I'm sorry to say, but even though you were raised Jewish, and all the family in your life is Jewish, you still aren't Jewish - at least not until you convert. I'm sorry, but that's just the way of things. In order to be Jewish, one must have a Jewish mother or convert. If you really do feel that you are a member of the Jewish people, then convert and make it official. I understand that you might feel that it is insulting to have to convert when you always felt Jewish, but being a follower of a religion requires us to do things we don't understand and sometimes even things we don't agree with. That's just the way things are.

Brittany M

You grew up in an inviroment that is centered around religion, whether they admit it or not. My husband is from israel, he is jewish, I am not. I do not wish to become jewish b/c I do not believe in organized religion and his family (his grandmother) at first did not like this. But this is who I am. You said up there that you didn't even want to convert, so you chose to make yourself the "black sheep", and kids are cruel. and religious people can tend to be so as well, so how can you tell if a person is jewish is by what they claim, and you didn't convert/claim to be jewish, so i probably wouldn't have counted you jewish either

NYC Chutzpah

Sounds like your grandparents are orthodox. In a reform congregation in the US you would be considered Jewish. I think you should go to the rabbi and ask how you can formally convert. If you have been raised Jewish , feel Jewish , try to make the world around you better, take responsibility for your actions. You are not different from other Jews.
For the conversion process it most likely will not be difficult for you. Just a matter of showing that you are knowledgeable about Judaism and a little trip to the mikvah.
Good Luck

diana

it's a stupid rule.... if your mother is Jewish then you're Jewish too...

vvhiitefang

Laura - sorry you have this identity crisis, or mini-crisis. But any system needs laws, Jewish laws are clear on this - Judaism is passed on maternally (there's a lot to be said from a women's lib perspective on that, but that's a different discussion).

If your mom wasn't Jewish, then you aren't. You could love gefilte fish and chopped liver, you can light a million chanuka candles, read Hebrew, be named Chaim Cohen, or even put a "Jesus saves, Moses invests" bumper sticker on your car... but none of those things make you Jewish.

Judaism, unlike most organized religions, is not into proselitizing, so if you're happy as a christian, great! As long as you stick with some basic laws that govern proper society etc (Noahide laws), then you have a share in our concept of a world to come - as a christian!

Don't sweat it... to be honest, if you're happy the way you are.. go for it!

inat

If your mother is not Jewish then neither are you.
If you want to be considered Jewish, convert!
This is the best site on kosher conversions:
http://www.halakhicconversion.org/
For a rabbi near you:
http://www.chabad.org/centers/default_cdo/aid/15676/jewish/Advanced-Search.htm

Mark S, JPAA

If you feel like you're Jewish, then why not convert? You were treated differently because halachically you aren't Jewish. Without boundaries and definitions, no group can exist for long.

[edit] I would have suggested Tabatha's approach regaring a Reform congregation, but it doesn't sound like you'd be comfortable there. Having said that, I'm Reform so you'd be welcome at our synagogue!

spReez

To me, you're still Jewish.

vansemmanuel

Well i am in the opposite situation.My last name isn't Jewish.Even though it is listed as one on Wikipedia.Its Banks by the way.I was raised in a conservative home.I was ok in mizrahi Hebrew.We celebrated all the holidays and we fasted on Yom Kippur and we were Shomer Shabbos and we had a kosher home.I didn't have a bar mitzvah but i wrote a letter from my transition from a kid to a Jewish man.I had a party.I actually had alot of friends that knew i was Jewish.But one Jewish girl who didn't.She coincidental was a liberal conservative girl and she didn't really observe shabbos.So she really didn't have a right to act that way to me and treat me badly.

mama_pajama_1

You have several questions and issues going on in this one question.

If you were raised Jewish I am wondering how it is remotely conceivable you are asking these questions? How is it you do not know the answers to these questions if your father kept a "kosher home" and your grandparents who raised you were observant Jews who raised you Jewish?

Secondly, your father and grandparents, if observant could and should have explained to you clearly why you would not be allowed to have a Bat Mitzvah ceremony if you had not gone through conversion. If they were raising you as a Jewish child, it is quite puzzling indeed as to the scenario you pose.

You did not say which branch of synagogue you attended with your father's family.

There are different ways of marking the attainment of Bat Mitzvah in the different branches. Orthodox do not allow women to read from Torah and lead services.

You also did not indicate what manner the Rabbi treated you differently.

This question just seems so strange to come from someone who was raised Jewish. It reads much more like someone who wants to try to claim that Jews are bigoted.

While NO group is immune to bigotry, and most groups of kids can find some way to be cruel to another at some time, the issue here of you wanting to know why you are thought about as " different" , reads more like..why are you treated second class.

Judaism does not teach Jews to do this. If you were treated this way by Jews who claim to be honoring Judaism, they were in the wrong. Period.

And it appears your Jewish family left out key parts of Jewish teaching with regards to who and what is and isn't Jewish and why they even kept a "kosher home".

If you WANT to be Jewish, you must convert. If you don't want to convert then you must simply accept that you are not Jewish. If you live the values and ethics of Judaism, there is no Jew who would be condoned by Jewish law to discriminate against you or consider you as anything other than an honorable person. Being raised Jewish you must have learned that Jews do not believe that one must be Jewish to be blessed by God and that righteous Gentiles also merit the world to come. The prayers in your siddur would have taught you this if your grandparents failed to do so. If you were raised Jewish and knew these things then you would be considered Jewish in a Reform synagogue without conversion and the questions would have been moot.

shalom :)

Whoo!

Convert... that's all I have to say. You already have "everything going on" w/ all the holidays and rules, so make it officially. And have a party... and eat cake.

Kane #1 Fan

Laura, here is a clear answer to your question.
1. You were treated differently first because your mother was not Jewish... That is just the way it is in the religion of Judaism...
2. Because we are all humans... Jewish or non-Jewish we all can be unfair to others... And the last name is not enough to make anyone Jewish unless your mother is Jewish.

Laura don't mind UltraN, mama_paja... and the last comment that Tabatha posted. Sounds like the same user with three (3) accounts. That user doesn't represent us as Jews. Being Jewish doesn't mean we are perfect. I have met Rabbis that are unfair and all I can tell mysel is... "He is only human..."

I agree with -Michael J- and a lot of others here, you can see
-vansemma...- shares a similar experience of his own with a conservative girl... Nothing new to me...

To me... Laura... You are one of us... Thank You for sending me this question... It was my pleasure to answer it... Stay in touch with us...

Bacse

* From the words of Tevia: "Tradition". 5000 years of it. If your mother ain't jewish, neither are you. Shalom

paperback writer

Firstly - did you try a Reform synagogue? I am reasonably sure that they would consider you Jewish. Check it out.

Secondly: you are not different to us. We are all human beings, whatever our religion or the label we are given.

Finally: you can sometimes tell if someone is Jewish by a number of things:

1) Usually if their surname is Cohen it's a bit of a giveaway...!

2) If you hear them using a yiddish word or phrase, there's a good chance they are Jewish!

3) Sometimes, you just get a hunch; either because of their sense of humour or just an intuitive feeling. Jews can have fair colouring or dark colouring and come in all shapes and sizes, but sometimes, you just get a feeling that you are speaking to someone Jewish.

Again, I would really urge you to approach a Rabbi at a Reform or Progressive synagogue. I suspect you may find there what you have been hoping for.

MAMA_PJAMA - another excellent answer!

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