How do you feel when............ ?!!?

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Sahar

you do what you can and reality is you can't force them so give yourself credit for sympathizing and trying to help, and let it be known to them that they can always when they want to, turn to you, you never know, sometimes people need time for things to sink in, to think, and if you really care then you should be tolerant and forgiving, that's how you get a real chance at helping them, keep ties and also put in mind that advice especially when given out bluntly and straightforward isn't always welcomed, try different approaches, you can relate stories give examples in a clever indirect way, has to be spontaneous and not too consistent

when you want your child to eat an apple have one yourself chew onto it with pleasure instead of ordering them: eat it, it's good for you! :)

have patience, an open mind and a welcoming heart always, it builds trust

Ismaily Rules

People like to be free and do what they like. What you can do for a friend is to give advice. And give it "one time" only. Anything more than one becomes really annoying.
Then, you need to forget about it. If you really like those people, you have to be their friend no matter what.
One does not befriend people because they are on the right track. Your friendship should be unconditional. You gave your advice once, after that you need to drop it and just be there for support.
Maybe you too do not agree on the defintion of "what is best for them".
Maybe for them, their way of life is the best choice they want to make.
I believe the best friend is the one who is always there, yet the one who gives you personal freedom and does not try to change your personality.

Eman G (Maganeno again)

i feel sorry for them too and keep on advicing them, i can't see anyone destroying him/herself.
if my advice isn't heard anymore then i begin to pray for the person.
i can't do more..
but i'll be there when he/she breaks his/her own heart

God Bless Us All

â™¥sweetyâ™¥

u mustn't stop ur advices and such that sitiuations u shall not pass normally but u shall change these advices to rules i'm not kidding but that's ma point

ahmad

just give advice and let everyone bear his responsibility

Sandy B

They have the free will to do what they want so let them......Dont try to help people that dont want to help themselves....thats my motto.

Roush

I don't know if this answer will make you feel better walla eeh... I was at your sibling's place unfortunately or fortunately maybe god knows.. and of course I was treating the dear one advising me as she doesn't understand and know anything khales and I continued in the wrong path for sometime, she was praying out loud for me infront of me and men waraya too! Rabbena answered her prayers and I discovered that all are illusions (ba3d ma akhadt darba gamda fo2 rassi) and till now I can't forget what happened and it was one of the best lessons i have ever had in my entire life :) if you really pray for your sibling, Inshallah Rabbena haystagib :) good luck

kim

If that person is young it worth to be more patient and give it another chance.

Sometimes advising and teaching young and immatures is hard task like plowing the earth plant the seeds, give water and hopefully you will see positive results.

That persons whom you care about may not show direct and quick reactions and results and good advice will settle in her mind and if she has a goodwill to learn some day she will get benefit of what you gave to her.

However if that person is persisting on his wrong attitude, then you have to be realistic and stop wasting your time, maybe you can invest it with other persons who are more promising .

THE-GREEN-VISITOR

I feel sorry for them and try for a second, a third,....... times, but let me tell you, Nada, that unfortunately, sometimes all our efforts to help such people are in vain, I don't want to discourage you but I'm telling you about something happened to me, I found that some people just refuse to help themselves or even let others help them, it looks like they hate themselves. However, every time we should start from the beginning and be full of optimism and hope, this is all what we have and what we should do.
For those, who are like me, and find happiness in helping others, they can't give up for any reason even if the reason is that some don't want others to help them.
NEVER GIVE UP, YOUR EFFORTS ARE UP THERE IN THE HEAVEN, AND WILL BE ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU.

hasafer

i just know onething , I was there for them when they got heartbroke .

Gareeb

First you need to fix yourself then look to fixing another.

Wise Heart

This is a very wise question Nada. It happened to me many times. It's really a bad feeling when you can see and understand the situation clearly and the person you advise may not listen to you and consider you kind of annoying person.
Our duty as humans is to make tell the advice and make it simple and clear for the other to understand it. If you can help later it's fine. Nothing you can do more. It's not obligatory to take the advice, but it's good always to listen to all advices and think.

Tracy But

i am the girl who break my heart on my own hand, because i am so self-centre and think i can make a different, but one day, i realize that i am just a stupid woman who doesn't see the reality.

you can't change anything unless they want to. just because you want to help them, but it doesn't mean they want your help, somehow you find them to dislike you or find you annoying. it is better to advise them once and leave them alone and let them to handle it.

being hurt is part of life experience that nobody can avoid, at least not you and me as a human being.

Ruby

I feel horrible, sad, mad, crazy, frustrated!
ikhs 3aliki ya nada, gat 3al gar7 we alibty 3alya elmawagi3 wana 7amel we mesh na2sa 7ar2it dam!!!
I'm going through the exact same thing with my sister. I'm trying to tell her what she is doing/wants to do is wrong. I'm trying to help her open her eyes and mind to the real truth, but she thinks I'm the one who doesn't know anything....

How do I react? again sad, mad, going crazy! then hopeless cuz there is nothing more than I can do to change this! I just pray for Allah to lead her to the right path

rabena yehdi elgamee3

saraowh :$

du'aa for them,''plead&supplicate''to them

Adham 1910

i am always in this situation be the one who lead himself to hell
u know there are some imagination come to my head after that why i do that and why don't i listen to them and they of course right.......... but this came late after i have really hurt them
i am not of the advise listener and always blame myself of that but by now on i have to listen for every advise my friends ,sisters and parents to rebuilt my broken heart again but this will take some efforts from adviser, me and the environment i live within
i think i get out of point,to return to ur point dont be soo sad that they dont listen to u cuz they will gain what they are doing now just be satisfied of doing ur duty and advise them....................

atbt

Assallam mu alaikom.
Well! Allah knows why. It's Allah's will to change or not to change someone. However, we should not give up in advising ppl, A day will come, they will realise themself what had been told to him/ her by others..
Wassallam.

Â¸Â¸.â€¢*Â´`*â™¥ Farah Â¸Â¸.â€¢*Â´`*â™¥

I can't believe this, but you are describing something I went through with a friend ... and just a few hours ago she told me that I was right all along and that she was heartbroken and hurt.

I believe that all you can do is to be there for your friends when they need you. Don't say "I told you so" and start blaming and nagging. Just be a good friend and help them get over the whole thing. I told her that what happened was really for the best and that it was her gain, not a loss. Painful experiences are best put behind you. Just learn your lesson from them, don't waste time obsessing over what could have been and prolonging your suffering. Rabina yihdeena gamee3an.

nick-a-name

I think what's most important is to listen to them. Once you've heard her out completely, she'll be more ready and willing to listen to you. And really hear her out, you need to be more understanding about the course of actions she wants to take as well. Maybe when you talk it through, you'll understand her perspective, or you'll be better able to explain your point of view to her. Forcing your opinion on her won't help. Like "Sahar" said, instead of saying "Eat the apple", bite into it...i think that was well-said. Point is talking to her is fine, as long as you're willing to listen and try to understand where she's coming from, why she thinks the way she does...

smart-doctor-egypt

i understand how u feel,
but plz get over it and discuss it with them,
why r they doing this?
may be they have soemthing in thier minds,
try change ur way advising them.

Moonrise

i feel it is my duty to give them sound objective advice.
i tell them the results of what they do.
then i leave them to their experience, but im always there for them, watching their steps and ready to help if i can and if im asked.
i tell them elli yisheel qerba maqtou3a bitnazel 3aleih mayah, ie, everyone has to pay for his choices.

Weird Angel

i lie to myself also. just tired of this Bullsh*t life and friends. They call me their friends and talk **** behind my back.

Sassafrass

Pray for them and continue to advise them unless you feel that you cannot take it anymore then just pray and pray some more, be an example. You never know, they may turn around one day even if it seems as though it will never happen.

Don't lose hope!

Above is what I try to do but alas...sometimes I just get too upset!

Kalooka

sounds like teens..it's just a phase..i hope..

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