Morning South Africans... here's and early kick start!!?

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orion

Ha! Nice one Hector.

Here's another one...

A bear is chasing a rabbit through the magic forest when they run into the genie frog!
The frog says that he'll grant them each three wishes.
The bear says "I wish all the bears, besides me, in this forest are female". The frog says it will be done.
The rabbit wishes for a motorbike and gets it immediately.
"For my second wish", says the bear, "I would like all the bears, besides me, in all the neighbouring forests to be female"
The rabbit wishes for a helmet. The bear gives the rabbit a dirty look and says that he has wasted two wishes that he could of had for himself.
"For my final wish", continues the bear, "I wish all the bears, besides me, in the world are female". The frog grants him his wish.
The rabbit then jumps on his bike, puts on his helmet and just before he speeds off wishes "I wish that the bear was gay!"

Diezel

Alright I'm 14 hours late, but those 2 jokes are still making me laugh my *** out loud. Thanks Hector and Orion.

Here is another one:

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her
neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers to his wife, "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict - look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you, too."

Anria A

Lol. Thanks Hector and Orion, you both made the rundown to the weekend a bit easier!

justmoi

Bahahahah! Is that true??! Its hilarious!

andy

ohhhh funny funny funny!!!!

Skye

I'm not from South Africa, but it appears as though the doctor is insinuating that the old man could not possibly have impregnated his bride...
The hunter and lion analogy is extremely witty.

Tsepo

Hahahahahheheee! Thanks guys.....indeed a great way to start a day!

Banana Peels...

LOL!

JeSsE MoRgAn

Fantastic, I loved it!!!

Featherman

lol...Reminds me of the station master in Leeuspoor who got a medal for bravery, when the people got off the train to stretch their legs, a lion chased them down the railway line, so he popped outside, let the people pass the points, and threw the points in front of the lion, and the lion ran himself katiff against the stopblock...

RSA

I love this one. Cheers, Enjoy your Week-End.

gem

haha hector, you and orion should form your own stand-up comedy act!!! you rule

poepies

Ha ha ha ha, good one. I must say, I'm going with the doctor's story!!!