My friend is getting married to a saudi dude....?

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Anita P

Well, I always think that life is what you make out of it...
I would not move to Saudi Arabia, even if I would loose the man... I am too keen of my own personal freedom and although I am sure that many foreign women are happy living in Saudi Arabia... I would not be one of them, because it would make me feel sick having to forget about everything I like... like going to the beach (with bikini of course), going out and having a drink or two, going to the discotheque or simply take my car and drive wherever I want without having to give explications to anybody... or get a air ticket and go away on a trip for the weekend...
In Saudi Arabia a woman is her husbands property and she has to obey him in everything, she can´t even decide where to go, as she is not allowed to travel on her own.
Of course there are many nice and open-minded men in Saudi Arabia who would not make their wives feel like second-class human beings... but I refuse to live in a place where the law does permit any man to stand over me like that.
And although for many people love is all and they are able to adapt to strict costumes like in Saudi Arabia for love - I don´t believe in that for myself. Because I could not love somebody if I feel that I can´t live the life I want to live and I would surely get mad and try to make the man feel guilty for not being able to live the life I am used to and reminding him that I left all behind for him just for ...this...
I know who I am and that´s why I am 100% sure what would happen if I were in your friends shoes...
But everybody is different; I mean many people find happiness in a life like that which is based on oriental and Islamic values.
Maybe it is what she needs and wants? I mean as a Muslim woman I guess she knows what she is expected in that country in generally it does not go so much against her traditions.
I can also understand her family; I guess they think about what happened in Afghanistan and that they obviously struggled a lot to provide their daughter with what they could never have in Afghanistan: Liberty, especially for a woman. (Because with or without Taliban a woman was always 3rd class in Afghanistan - just behind a donkeys value).
So I guess that they raise their hands to their heads, thinking why does their daughter refuse everything to go to a country where she will be officially a prisoner of her husband.
Don´t get me wrong people… I mean, that the man does not have to be like that and probably isn´t, but the government and the laws in Saudi Arabia do not give full civilian rights to women… so if the a man treats a woman bad and forbid her to do this and that, she has no possibility to get out of that circle.
That´s why I would never accept.
I could go and live in Morocco, Tunisia, and Egypt… because these countries guarantee my rights as a person and if there was any problem with my husband I could pack my things and go away… or demand him for divorce… or report him to the police.
What can a woman do in Saudi Arabia?
If a husband mistreats her, she deserves this and it is the right of the husband to correct her attitude using his force… so what could I do?
Run away? Getting caught I would be put in prison for that…
Divorce? But only the husband can divorce a woman…
And even he may lock me up and I could be forbidden to even call my family… and I would have no possibility to go back to my country without his permission.
I make it short: A woman in Saudi Arabia is treated like an underage child – and the problem is that a woman will never really become an adult… legally speaking.

PersianBabe LOVEs a Saudi♥♥

Why is that bad if they love each other? If she knows what she is doing and he is sincere then I dont see a problem with that.:-)

Mintee

depends on her whole state of mind..
I frankly after growing up in USA.. I actually love the Saudi way of life, I love the culture.. I plan on growing old, retiring and will eventually die here.. My friends and family back in USA dont understand this, but its my choice..
You will hear all the negative about Saudiarabia cause negative propoganda sells..
but Saudi has its charm and its beauty also.. I love the moral lifestyle it has here.. I love the generosity of the people.. I love the whole family comes first attitude.. I am a moderate muslim women, not a fanatic, but i respect my faith.. I am able to find fun things and interesting things to make my life enjoyable but still within the laws of Islam.. You dont have to be a fuddy duddy and live a dull life being a muslim..
Our family goes out on picnics, we go to the desert, we explore around, we like going to little villages and seeing the culture.. We meet people from all over.. I dont feel abused or represses.. maybe im not able to drive here (although i know how to drive and owned my own car in USA) but I find its not a problem.. there is access to Taxi services, bus services. family members that will drive me anywhere.. I ahve not been restricted.. i work, I can go out when I want, I do my own banking, shopping,, I meet with my gal friends. I feel very social and happy here.. Live is how you make it.. I welcome her to SaudiArabia and I personally think she will be fine ^_^

maxnull

There's a pretty high standard of living in Saudi, but not much freedom for women. I've heard a lot of stories about Saudi men being very charming and bringing foreign women over and then turning into tyrants and keeping them prisoner. Strange as it sounds, women have no rights in Saudi Arabia, no right to travel, no right to divorce, they can't even drive a car. If she goes with him you will probably never hear from her again, so take your time and say your good-byes.

nono

Thats her life, it's her choice. Look up and talk to expats living in Saudi.

http://americanbedu.com/links/expat/

Ali S

the only way any muslim man should respectably marry a muslim lady is to first go to her family without any more contact with her. If he can't do that, then there is something wrong with the relationship. He should be willing for her family to check him out and his family through his job, friends, masjid and everything. If he is open and willing, then she should have patience and let her family meet him and his family, circle of friends. if not, then he is hiding something. if it is true love, then God will make the path easy and happy. if you can't bring him to your family or he wont bring you to his, drop him.

نجم

There are lots of non-Saudi women married to Saudi men. It's more common than you think. It may be a problem if the families disagree, but if they love each other, and they are old enough and mature they should be able to make it work.

Pink Lady

Usually Saudi guys in their mid 40s are already married and have a family. Dating is illegal in Islam, so how did he meet your friend?

I would not trust the guy. He probably is setting your friend up to be a 2nd wife.

Not trying to be rude... but your friend sounds to be very naive to the world and to guys in particular. It will be difficult to get her to change her mind. Good luck in trying to do so!

Alhamdulilah

If she's at all comfortable with her Afghani culture, then she won't have too hard of a time here. The cultures are very similar. I think his family will accept her. They aren't so young, so I don't think his family will resist too much since he's mature. It would be different if he were 20 years old. Then his family would probably throw a big fuss about it.
They can be happy. Saudi Arabia isn't that bad of a place. I like living here, and I lived my whole life in the US before moving here.

tabi_Z

she'll be absolutely fine.muslim love saudi arabia some people have wrong perceptions about saudi arabia but its not that bad.

RDG78

Are they from the same sect of Islam? That could make a difference. She'll probably be treated just like most women in an Islamic society- lower than cattle.

Bug

This is not me trying to be rude. I don't suggest she married him, bad bad idea. She wont be happy here, but if she wants to take the risk than it's up to her.

Reo180

There's nothing wrong with marring a Saudi but living there can be a problem. Do some research on the Saudi Arabian culture and how it's like to live their. I know that she'll have to wear that scarf thing muslims wear, it's not a "free country" as America is, and it's a very violent and controling country. Women there are also looke upon differently like as a lower class of people.

Tell her, DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

K.Frusciante

Keep in mind that once she goes there, she cannot leave the country without her husband's permission. Saudi Arabia is the only country where women are not permitted to drive. She must be escorted by her husband everywhere and cannot socialize with other men. This includes sitting at a restaurant. Since she is not Saudi, she will never be fully accepted. Women have such a difficult time there. They must obey their husbands and have no basic rights. There are much more laws involved. You and her should research them together. I'm not saying she shouldn't marry him, but they should both stay here. I'm not saying the Saudi people are bad, but the government is. Do your research.

Little foot

Is she nuts? she loves him?hahahahahahaaaa...wake her up for Pete's sake, will ya?

This Saudi man is in his 40s and not married yet?
Anyway, to have this marriage acknowleged in Saudi (so she can move there) he needs his Govt. permission first to get married to a foreign woman. That will take time.

Whenever she will live in Saudi Arabia, she (and her kids) can leave the country any time and can freely travel around without his permission. (That's new since last year).

Nobody here is able to tell you if they will get happy or if his parents will accept her. They are both grown ups and should be mature enough to know what they are doing.

Wishing them all the best.

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