My future wife impregnated by the tokoloshe?

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Bob Mugabe MOTZANU_PFGOYA

This is a very difficult question. It is important to know exactly why the tokoloshe was attracted to your wife. As you know, the tokoloshe could not have got into your wife's orifice if the bed was high enough off the ground, and if you did not check that the bed was high off the ground, it is your fault. Tokoloshe have very, very long penises, about as long as the span of a man's both arms. They can move them, like snakes, and they will get into your hole if you do not put your bed up.

Did your wife say that she saw the tokoloshe? If she did, you must get rid of her, because he will be back to make her pay for talking. She must not say that, or it will be very bad for her. My old friend Chitepo saw a tokoloshe, and told everyone, and he was killed by the tokoloshe who was working for the Rhodesians. So you see how dangerous it is.

I would run away. You will lose your lobola, but it is only a few sheep. Two cows is nothing, but I understand about the hi-fi. But if you think of money now, it is not that much, but a tokoloshe child who is not yours for twelve years, that is a lot of money.

What tribe is your future wife? Perhaps the n'anga could be persuaded to help.

Heavy D 2

Sell your wife to a sangoma .You might be able to buy your two oxen and your sheep back . The local witchdoctor will gladly pay you more for the Tokoloshe child than a hi-fi system! Since you will be making a profit use that to get as far away as possible from your father - in- law before he puts a spell on you and you become infertile !

Doors Fan

This is a very interesting question.... I'm sommer going to star it!

First of all, it is known that the tokoloshe is a very small man. Therefore, check if your betrothed's bed rests on about 40 bricks (ten per leg). If not, something v-e-r-y suspicious is going on.

The tokoloshe is also known to be bloody ugly. Was she really able to look past his hideous face and be turned on by him because he is well endowed? Or did she and her father argue that she was raped by the tokoloshe? I ... think ... not.

If I were you, I would definitely get ready to run.

But, before you do, go to your future father in law, force his mouth open if you can, wrench those dentures from his mouth, throw them on the ground en stomp on them. If you were Zulu, I'd say do a Zulu dance on them, but an original Tswana dance will suffice. Dance on them until they are fragments of pink and white plaster!

You don't mention that the hi-fi was sold? After the denture dance, go to his hut and take YOUR hi-fi. The old man will be too devastated about his dentures, to retaliate.

Tokoloshe-child or not. Your fiance is showing signs of infedility, and she's a shameless liar... she'll cheat on you again, and again. Who is going to be blamed next time? One of the Seven Dwarfs? A Yeti? Shrek? Who, I ask you?

Now, you can run.

errolcollen

Hey ou Vlakvark, man. No, man, that's serious, jong. I think you should go and talk to Jacob Zuma. He knows how to get out of these tricky situations with women who tell lies. Or maybe he can recommend a good witch doctor who can put a spell on that third wife-to-be and make her unpregnant again and back into a virgin. It would be a pity to lose the hi-fi system.

wrecked_2477

There is no way you can avoid this issue you simply have to explain to her that to get her body into a fit condition for her husband she will need to be purified, in this case it very obviously will involve an abortion. What you have to decide is how much is this girl worth to you if anything, if you need to keep the cost down the local Shaman comes pretty cheap but if you decide to push the boat out find out if you are on the rounds of a vetinary practice you could get a first rate job done for comparitivly little

babsy0123

So if you leave, you are out the oxen and the 12 sheep and the hi fi system..? correct? I would say thats better than being married to a woman who is pregnant with a child that you would just not be able to accept.

Be well and good luck....

midnite_tequila

If you were that well-educated, you'd know that one wife was trouble enough. Besides, that's no way to treat a perfectly good hi-fi system.

Cat

Run, run as fast as you can.

The Blue bull

I think you should run and run fast, you do not deserve this woman trouble at all. The tokoloshe is for real in the South African culture and it is not only stories. You can also talk to the ANCYL and Jacob Zuma, president of the ANC who will confirm the above. Immigrate to Malawi instead.

rooikop

take a shower and then run away.

T.I

Run as fast as your legs can carry you. Don't look back. The tokoloshe might come back to claim your wife as his own.

Edit: Heavy D is right. Try selling her to a sangoma. LOL

cakes4africa

Congratulations! You are an extremely lucky man. Being the father of a tokoloshe child will make you very rich. Help and support your wife throughout her pregnancy. Look after her, she is precious. There are going to be many men who will want her to cure them from their aids infection. Good luck with your special child. Cherish him and he will be the president that all are waiting for.

Kay-Leigh

there is no such thing as the tokoloshe man! dont be ridiculous...its all made up...ur wife probably has sex with another man secretly and is now pregnant with his child...

Tounarouze

Wow is this for real? Am I the only one in shock?
I suppose I forget that there really are people like you in the world. You are the kind of person that prevents the world from progressing to a place of equality, especially if, as you say, you really are well educated.
Perhaps I am being too judgemental, yes I must be; how can I expect everyone to think the same as me?
One thing though, would a high maintenance child really affect you? I am assuming it will be the wife who will be rearing the child and not you. I don't think running away from any situation will help solve it.

sebe

Is this for real ??????

Nick

Tokoloshe my FOOT!

There is no such thing as a Tokoloshe, nor can a woman become pregnant by imagination - unless she is having a fake pregnancy, like dogs do.... LMAO

Why don't you ask her the real reason she got pregnant...

Or are you just an internet troll looking for attention?

Rated RKO Girl

This is a joke, right?! And it's NOT funny!!!!!!!!!!!11

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