Plz help !! i love my boyfriend dearly. hes a 38 yr old lebanese man?

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mark f

tell him to fu*k off

ØÙ„Ø§ÙŽÙ…Ø¨Ø±Ø§ hallambra

Leave him.
Is the only advice i can give you. That guy doesnt love you.he wants to own you, but you are not a thing.
He has to respect you as a person...but first of all you have to respect urself. You cant allow him to say all that things to you.
Have you stopped to think how your life with that guy would be if you marry him?
You asked and i reply..marriage is based in respect, friendship, honestity, trust, and above all , love. How many of that things are in ur relationship with ur boyfriend?
You have to love urself, and cant accept to be treated like that.
He is not the only man on earth. I'm sure you dont deserve to be treated as a cheater if you arent that. Wait for the real love and for a real man. Men that treat women like that arent real men.

MARKA...
My dad was lebanese, so.he was an eastern man, but he treated my mom with so much respect and love. Be sure that not all middle eastern men are like the one louise it telling us in her question. On the contrary, lebanese men care about their women and respect them.
So....you cant generalize..there are men like that one in western countries too.

Aussie

Hallambra has answered as I would ...this situation will never improve, if anything , it will get worse once you have married .

Far better to move on now & find someone who treats you with dignity & respect ...

webby

Louise, we all agree on this.
leave him ! this is bordering on abuse, dump him now before tomorrow.

You are not happy anyway, I say better suffer a little now, turn the page and get on with your life, then be unhappy all your life hoping he will change: Believe me, I'm very well qualified to tell you that men don't change, he's already draining your strengh, next to go is all self esteem.

Rebuild your life, and never ever allow anyone to bully you into doing anything you're not comfortable with.

who loves you baby

My advice is to leave him. This man is very possesive and that can make you more harm than good. A relationship is based on respect and not commands. But be careful, once you leave him , this man is bound to harass you to the point of breaking you down. The way you explained it,it`s like he owns you. Follow your heart. It never lies. Goodluck.

DagNaggit limpuladerfy II

he sounds like a bad person and he sounds very jealous too!
it will probably get a lot worse later ! LISTEN to these smart people on here! for your sake!! Peace

Naomi

I strongly agree with Hallambra.. get out while you can.. and asking for cyber intimacy frequently means he's not so much interested in much else.. and for someone to think that when you choose 'not to do something' means that you no longer love him, it means to them that it doesn't matter what you want to do and not do.. it seems he's putting himself first in this relationship as ;what he says goes'.. what is this! we're in the 21st century.. seems he's still stuck in the stone age..
relationships and marriages need actually two people to make them work, not one to decide what 'he' wants and so.. a man and a woman.. if he already shows this kind of attitude, then it'll only be worse after marriage... if u are suffering from this now, imagine what it'll be after marriage.. i mean now there's no official bond that connects you two except the fact that you both chose to be together.. after marriage, ppl can't help you, u'd be his wife and unfortuantely ppl will only look away saying that it's between you and him as married couple, well u are a couple now, but not married... no law forces u to be with him... u love him! u lived before him, u can live after him.. love urself first.. plus, u can love someone else who respect u and cherishes u, not someone who force u to do things and doesnt accept u the way u are, as u have 'attitude'...
show him the attitude and walk away.. find another guy who'll respect u and treat u good..
God bless u =) have a great weekend.. keep us updated plz ..

red_klinik

get rid of him ASAP....lebanese men are possesive but this is unreal...you are not for him...leave him now!!! you will be safe you are far away from him...find a better man.

jammygal

You aren't dating his family. And they taught him to be like that so don't be too hung up on missing them.

Leave him!!!

Baby Boo

sweety, break up with him! tell him to never call you again! and get another bf who will appreciate you the way you are! me as being lebanese gurl i will tell u 1 thing! lebanese guyz are not suitable for dates! now specially that he's working in Saudi, he will be brainwashed seeing all men there being bosses! so just tell him to **** off! its about time! love will come back! on the right time! he doesn't deserve you at all! if you stay with him, you will end up miserable, and wondering someday what have you done that your life has become this much ruined! lebanese guyz act like they are higher than everyone else, thats their problem! not all lebanese almost 98% and it just turned out he is one of them!so rare i know guyz very open minded! but also much younger than yours! asking you for cyber sex is like he's treating you as a *****! when you love a girl, you treat her royal! with respect!
plus! if he really loves you! she should trust you eyes closed! (thats wat my bf say to me! and to everybody! and never complain about my attitude and billions of questions i alwayz have! part of the other 2% its hard to get)instead of messaging and telling you u cheating on him! lebanese guyz have this character to make a girl wrong and beg for sorry when they, themselves are the one who made a mistake! i dont know how, they just do that! you really wanna know how he think? he say : "she loves me so much, i can treat her however i want, just because shes in love with me, she will beg me, maybe come on her knees for me, and do whatever i ask her to! and even how bad i can treat she will come after me instead of breaking up, i got the girl that i want!" move on with your life, enjoy life instead of dropping tears for a piece of ****! be stronger! show him he's not irreplaceable and NOT the boss! tell him you walking out the door and you will never look back! he might swear and all that and start shouting and calling you ****** or smtg, just hang up the phone on him! block delete him everywhere.. if he bothers you... i guess you should have to change your number! make your day shine again :)
All True No Lies
Good Luck! And Enjoy Life :)

Steph K

Seriously hun, if this is how he's acting now, it's NEVER going to get any better. Trust me on that one. It'll only get worse and if you DO make the mistake of marrying him, I can almost guarantee you that you'll only be made to feel more miserably. He's a jealous, control freak, and I very much expect him to turn abusive if he hasn't already.

Please, please, please break up with him and move on. I know it's difficult and it'll hurt, but you'll save yourself a lot more pain by doing so.

gribela

If your relationship is to work, you need mutual respect. It is very difficult to sustain a long distance relationship. Don't do anything with him you don't feel comfortable doing.
In my opinion, possessive people who accuse their partners of infidelity, are the very people who "play away." Next time he's on the computer ask him what he's been up to. Lebanese men of my acquaintance in the gulf used to entertain themselves with ex-pats wives and Indian nurses.
Of course just as we have stereotypes of dominant, unreasonable arab men, they have stereotypes of slutty western women, who will drop-em for anything in trousers. Unfortunately I suspect your cyber-sex antics may well have reinforced that stereotype in his head.
You say he says your attitudes would have to change if you were to be his wife, ask him if he would be happy for his wife to be taking part in cyber-sex, ask him if he thinks that his current attitudes are reasonable attitudes for a husband.
Ask yourself the same questions. At 38 he is fully adult and although he will mature as he gets older, do you think he will mellow at all? If he remains totally selfish, it will make your life very difficult.
Good luck, and don't let him bring you down. Be strong and stand up for yourself, if you lose him because of it, he isn't worth having.

lbaker2656

Leave him hun before its too late. I know its hard but this man really isnt worth your love. He's trying to change you and if you marry him you will never get away. Be strong and find someone else who loves you for you and doesnt want to change one tiny thing!

asboclothing

He's a ******* tit, get rid of him.

Ivan R

Hello,

(ANS) Although you love your boy friend I'm NOT sure he really understands you nor how you really feel. If he really loved you he would respect you as a person as an equal and wouldn't put pressure on you in this way.

**Loving another person doesn't mean you have to endure humiliation in my opinion.

**Loving another person shouldn't involve degrading yourself by having to perform virtual sex for his benefit. If you desire to freely give virtual erotic shows thats entirely different its your choice & its given freely, thats a totally different ball game.

**Your boy friend is insecure and behaving in a paranoid and distrusting fashion. If he really loved you, he would know that he could trust you not to fool around. If he really loved you back, he would know you don't want to fool around. The problem is ALL his and its ALL in his head, non of what he fears is real.

**Sadly, and I say this with a heavy heart. Perhaps you love your boy friend more than he loves you? You know one of the most painful things I ever discovered in my life is that just because you fall in love with someone, that they might NOT feel exactly the same as you? That love can be one sided, you may feel love towards another person but their feelings don't match yours (its NOT mutual love after all??) :-((

**Your boy friend doesn't really respect you as a person or a women, why? if he did respect you he wouldn't ask you or put pressure on you to perform something that makes you feel so bad.

**I would refuse too do anything for him that you DON'T feel entirely comfortable with, you can tell him that if he loved you he wouldn't ask you do perform such things.

Your MUST love & respect yourself first before anything else even your boy friend. Take care of the loving heart of yours.

Kind regards go well, Ivan

white spirit

Pfoo! You'd better give up!

ANGELO [my 3 passions]

this is what Dear Abbey would say if she were a man :

you should learn to satisfy your man as often as possible .. even on webcam .. take a "how to be a webam sl*t" lesson .. they're widely available on the internet .. and if you can't do it yourself .. then register him in one of those webcam websites as a gift for a mere $ 19.99 per month .. that way you can show you love him by providing him the satisfaction he requires .. besides he's trying his BEST to sit on the computer and chat with you everyday and perform some acts to satisy you as well .. you know how much this is physically and emotionally draining to a man's body ? ... as for the phone calls .. well he's paying a lot for those isn't he ? ... that means he loves you and jealousy is a natural feeling. if you want to marry him .. you have to learn how to be a good wife and know your limits ... he's the man of the house and he's busting his a55 out in the desert everyday so he can make money to support you and pay for those phone calls .. you should be ashamed of yourself .. apologize to him .. cook a nice meal and Fed-Ex it to him in Saudi ...

marka

some said that the guy doesn't love you. that's not the case. he is raised like that and for the rest of his life he will think that since you are a female you must obey him for everything. you are not supposed to have an opinion of your own about anything. He is an eastern man and that is their way. If you can live like that or not , is your choice, but if you expect him to change, don't, he will never do.

Hizbo Gorilla

How is that any of our concern?
Do we seem like experts in cyber sex?

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