True Love.............. When ?!?

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EDEENI BOSSA! OIC

ok well here is my imput. i have had a hard childhood. my father and mother split. my father moved backed to egypt and i was raised by my mindless mother. who gave me a hard way to go and blamed me for all her problems. i became mindless myself...i wanted nothing to do with Allah. i wanted no children. i wanted no lover in my life. i had to go through councling because my mind was so damaged.

as you can see in my avatar pic. yes, this is my husband. i swore up and down that i would NEVER marry. i was tired of being hurt by those who claimed to love me. my counclor would always tell me that when the right one comes you will know. and you will be happy. i said no. i thought she was full of it...just telling me anything because she was being paid to make me feel better. those were my thoughts.

this was about 4 or 5 years ago. i am going on two years with my beautiful husband, Praise God. and she was right i have never been happier.

when he gets mad at me for any reason. i feel apart of me was missing. a few times he has gotten so mad at me that he wouldn't communicate with me. he wouldn't hold me in the night. i felt so alone, depressed and i couldn't breath with him angry at me. he is my weakness. it is like with out him i couldn't function. that is how deeply in love i am with him.

you know the saying is between a married man and woman. that they are one. i never understood what that meant fully until i fell in love with Amr. that is his name...aka Omar...because if he isn't happy i am not happy. and visa versa. if he is stressed, i am stressed. if he cries, i cry. if he smiles, i smile and again visa versa.

i never knew love was so powerful. this is my first marriage. and God Willing we will be together until God feels it is our time to go. no times soon God Willing. i want to grow old with him and die of natrual causes. as a matter of fact speaking of death...

i told Amr before, that if he leaves me in death. to tell the angel of death to come get me too. because i can't be here without him. i told him to tell that angel not to forget me. even thinking about it usually always brings me to tears. so anytime i write anything like this i must always say PLEASE GOD PROTECT THIS FROM THE EARS OF THE EVIL ONE AMEEN...

i hope this is a good inside look of my story and i hope you enjoyed it. God Bless

@ Onomatopoeia...i couldn't agree more with you...because i say the same Allahu Akbar!!!!!!!!! for my love not to steal ur words but my husband too is everything i needed and wanted in a man. and this makes me love him that much more. he is beautiful inside and out...i tell him he is beautiful in a manly way looool although it may seem strange to tell a man he is beautiful but he understands me...masha'Allah

GOOFY-LOOK GOFY-LOCK GOFY-MIND

*2 Love is Nothing..2 be Loved is Something..2 Love and be Loved is Everything.. *Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 see but 2 understand, not 2 hear but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!

Zoser

AAAAHHH Ya Nada: you will neither the rest love my answer, But it is so important to me to answer, to relief a burden:
What is love? I will not do any religious preaching; I will just say my opinion;
Love is the sexual desire relation between man and woman after being processed by the conscious, As I said before, all our experiences, desires and knowledge (Data) are stored in the subconscious, In order to extract them, we use our conscious which stores regulations, traditions, laws, religion, ethics,,,etc,, according to the previous, all the desires go through a filtration process , in the conscious, and appear in the surface. .then we actâ€¦
We need the sexual desires to reproduce (the sexual relation is an ugly relation physical wise,.we were tricked by having a strong desire to overcome that,, we accept it and long for it), but in all religions and ethics this relation is not accepted,(standing alone) , so the rules(system) in the conscious give it a new name LOVE,,
You can desire someone, but you may not love him, simply, he could not pass the rules of the conscious, (I mentioned them above)
Plato described Love as friendship+sexual desiresâ€¦which means it has the basics of friendship : but also the desire,, your lover is your friend +sexual desire ,, actually it is fair enough as when the desire decreases you still have the friend,,,
Who can be your friend: if you can talk to a person completely in an honest way , he is your friend, the friend is on whom you see your self reflecting ,, If the desire is added,, he is your love,,

you can have a friend, he desires you and you do not,, and that is described as love from one side,,, The relation can be only desires and that is also not love ,,

By time , when we get older, our role in the reproduction is less, we do not have this strong desires (we start to netlakik), it is more difficult to love, we are also more selective having friends, so it becomes difficult to find a person who deserves our love..

We agreed that the breakdown of love is a friendship and desires, we all know who the friend is , but who would we desire?:
1) first females( femaleâ€™s social revolution) females desire always a male who can achieve his role as a protector: (that was the role of the father before) , a young girl will desire a man with a physical feature to provide the protection (strong), then she would prefer a brain(a clever guy can protect better) , when she is older she would choose a rich one (money and influence can protect more)
2) Men would desire a woman who is healthy -able better to reproduce, All the descriptions of a beautiful woman are actually a description of a better children reproducing woman ,,,(think about it)
3) Both males and females would desire someone who reminds them of pleasant times in the childhood, we could see a man into a woman who looks like a maid, in fact his nanny when he was a child gave him lots of emotional satisfaction,, a female would be into a guy who is very old reminds her of the very short pleasant time spent with her father,,,that is all in the subconscious
4)When our old people said the way into manâ€™s heart , is his stomach, simpley indicates with a natural simple words /thought that men will be into a women who can be source of food like the mothers were (a factory of milk ;food), a female will also be into a guy who gives her , like the father used to do,,,,,,again that all in the subconscious
I can count more and more but will be away of the question ,

Yes people can and they do love more than once, we agreed that according to human social revolution , the desire is changeable by time, - assuming that the friendship is constant-, = love is also changeable by time,, we will love again and again through our lifetime , the one we loved , maybe will not be loved anymore ,,,we will forget him/her for the new ones

Now the big problem , if you loved and formed a family would you love again; can happen, if your conscious allows that (remember the role of conscious in using the laws ethicsâ€¦etc in filtering our behaviors-)
Godâ€™s wisdom: when we start to desire less, friendship is more, so love is constant, and when the desire starts to get changed ,, we are already in an absolut new love,, our love to the new family members: our children, with the burdens of their needs that we forget about ourselves for the new bornsâ€¦.and we continue with them the circle of life

Moonrise

what you describe s true, for a while, till your heart beats with a new love.
shall i tell you a secret, the first love is the last love, ie, your heart may fall in and out of love. each time, it's first love, strong and true. but your heart may change its direction anf you fall in love with a different person.

every time it is Strong and Passionate . you will be fair to your new partner bec God has given us a blessing, forgetfulness. we forget an old feeling, good or bad, and live the present moment.

dont worry . but dont cling to an old feeling. open your heart for a new one.

Heart of Gold (ELTA) â„¢

Nada, it's purely psychological. It isn't the heart that needs to get over it as much as it is the mind. Once you realize that love is available all over the world, and love is just a stranger away, you don't worry so much about the one that got away as much as the one the one that's there or the one that's on the way.

I tell my single friends all the time, their perfect someone is out there, they just haven't asked them to marry them yet.

sweets

maybe it wasn't really love. maybe it was infatuation. I think love is a process of finding the mate that fits the best for us and our life. I've fallen in love with people but it just didn't work for our lives. . .

THE-GREEN-VISITOR

This time, Nada, you touched a personal experience of me, and you are, theoretically, right but when we talk about what really happens, which surprised me myself, we find that you just love "that one" without your full intention, without control, sometimes you can't control your emotions, they just "flow".

What I disagree with you about is that you can love again someone else and be sincere to him/her, I think so.

hasafer

I agree with you , but who is the boss of his heart

sorry nada , nothing to share

Vish

My sweet little girl; how old are you?
It depends on what age you love a person. I know itâ€™s difficult to forget a person you love, but when you come to know that he is not interested, itâ€™s better to leave him. You will soon meet a person who is born for you. All the best!

Regards,
Vish

Eman G

u r completely right Nada

i agree with u in that point of being unfair to the second one
am suffering myself from this.
i was in love and engaged then we were separated.
i gave him every single beat in my heart and my life then all of it was over

am suffering now that many guys are proposing but i can't do it

i feel that i can't give the new one anything not only a little and by this am so unfair to myself too

God Bless Us All

Luv Rulz

i agree with u , and hasafer told u the right thing , and u try to control it !!!!!

Sameh

I believe in love between two people... but i ask myself... why???

is it because of their physical appearence? their stature in society (in high school its popularity)? the fact that they are genuinely nice to everyone... it all adds up in the end. usually lust plays a big (and decieving) game in the unpredictable journey of love.

your solution is good. and for an adult it is right.

as a teen i deal with it with the simple realisation that its not gonna happen. im 14 frickin years old. i dont expect anything, and neither do i get anything.

when im older it will come naturally.

BUT (big but): WHYYYY would you love someone to that degree, until you know of their personality and know them closely. im not saying by watching them. im saying by being friends with them on a personal level.

my belief is... if they dont like you, you lose your love for them. simple and flawless... not in your case it seems.

take care sister

i hope youre not so madly in love that yo cant read this clearly (even i cant read this clearly... im not that good with love issues am i?)

again... take care

Shame

sabrina

All love starts with an infatuation, and that infatuation is always a combination of pain and ecstasy as the insecurity pushes into you and every second away from the loved one is an eternity. As your relationship develops you become more confident but you also lose that really strong feeling of ecstasy. but whether that relationship develops or dies the strong emotions do decline. if the relationship dies, your love does fade it may take weeks or months but it will fade and eventually go completely, so wait, you will feel better, you will love again, but it takes time. if on the other hand the relationship does not die, you will find that it develops into a friendship deeper than any other. i have been maried for nearly 30 years but i had several failed relationships before my marriage and i had a very difficult time about 6 years ago, when i fell in love again........ hmm yes even at my age!

Sahar

the nice thing about love is, you can't measure it and it has no end, if you love you can always love again, and there are different kinds of love...i do not know if you can love someone while you still have strong feelings for someone else..but the thing about love, it's there as long as your heart beats

saraowh :$

i agree with u!

atbt

Assallam mu alaikom.

There is no love that is true love. Human are always keep on changing their feelings on everything. That is nature. The make of mankind. Allah swt created human with desire and feeling of ownership and greed. Nothing could satisfy any mankind, unless the person is able to control their feelings and greed. The only true love is love to Allah swt and Rasullullah saw. That also not to everyone,but, to only selected ppl gifted by Allah swt.

Wassallam.

I'm Blind not Deaf

True love does not exist, god created a person to love everything for a short while except him, but that does not stop you from meeting people who you might "like" for a longer time, depending on the personalities,
If someone told you his love to another person is the same all the time will be a lier, but for sure yor love to your parents is v big and non stop.

Ronaldinho Jr.

You know.. The girl I love... her name is nada!

Loveik

agree with Noor

Sassafrass

(((nada))) I have thought of this often throughout my life too....BUT....think about how a mom loves all her kids...maybe she loves them differently but not truly unequally. It is possible the heart can grow and grow, it is an amazing things subhanallah!

Silent tear

love is not falling in love ,,,
falling in love in temprarary ,,,has to do with the look and our moodd ,,,
love come after long time ,,,when u see your partner in all his shapes ,,angry sad mean happy ,,,but at the end of the day u feel lucky because he is yours

Cool Muslim

u know wut?i had this love issue before 3 yreas,it was my 1st real love & the only love i've enjoyed till now,but unfortunately it was by 1 side (me),cuz she was in love wtih some1 else,but she didnt tell me till i fell on my face.
it made suffer for 2 yrs,sleepless in night,mindless in day,imagining that every coming person is her,listening 2 love songs & suffering alot.
my heart died,but less than year ago i'm over it. i even asked a question 1 year ago about this (check out my questions).
u may listen 2 Katharine MacPhee-i'm over it song u'll find it on YouTube.com,really good song 4 ppl like this.
i think i agree with u in other points about givin less 2 the other person if u love again.cuz may be we r still afraid of previous experience.
u r very wlcom sis Nada,
salamoooooooz

dgital_luv

Well, first of all, I don't believe someone should give their everything to another person(leave their happiness in their hands) because we are all humans and we eventually make mistakes that will make us and/or your partner feel disappointed, angry, sad, etc. towards the other. Don't get me wrong, give your partner what they deserve(respect, affection, time, etc.) just don't go overboard and be all "NO! Don't leave me! I'll die!" ( I've seen it before). Anyways...

Second, true love never disappears, you can't just fall in and out of love with someone on the daily basis like the world thinks. Once you think, no, KNOW you love that person for reals, then that love will forever stand the test of time. However, sometimes we think we love another person but really it's just a very strong attraction. Like maybe they were the first people to truly understand you or they did something unrepayable or they seem to be what they aren't, and so you think that they must be the ONE but apparently they aren't. The point is, maybe you don't truly love him and though it may seem hard, you must move on with your life. Find someone who appreciates your faithfullness and won't take advantage of nor ignore it and take it slow from then on. Sometimes you don't immediately fall in love with your soulmate, it takes time, because you must get to know them and their capabilities. But overall yeah, admire them strongly and time will tell if they truly are the "one".

Atleast now you know more of the 'dos' and 'don'ts' of a relationship. Love is like a journey on the sea, the waves will keep on comming and it will seem like you can't escape, but if you keep on rowing, the waves will guide you through another day.

P.s. To know if you truly love someone, you must truly know the meaning of love. Hope my advice helps you in any way, and if not, well then you must already know the stuff.

Onomatopoeia

Mashaa ALLAH. BUT my story is too long, so i shorten it drastically. I pray to GOD to match me perfectly with someone to be my husband for about 3 months. Then July 2003 (I will keep the spiritual details quiet) I was matched with my husband Sameh. He is everything that I asked for. I mean to detail. Allahu Akbar!!!! Sameh is my best friend. Both of us has never had love like this before. We do truly love each other and we cant live without each other not even for a day.............Alhamdulillah, for everything.
~Assalamu Alaykuum

Any respectable unmarried females want to meet my 30yr old respectable brother in law? If so, go to my 360. ;)

sarah

thanks for sharing that, it sloved some of the questions i had about love! thank u!

relator hallas

in 99 i liked a girl in my school we were 11 by then i think she liked me too she once gave me a dry flower this story ended in a semester and guess why "people was talking" to the extent that she switched the school after this year(her sister completed in the same school) i know that we were too young but i still remember her with all the details i even memorize her phone number till now i don't know what would it be if i saw her again that is why i don't know what if i got involved in a relation ship with another wouldn't i be unfair to this person.
2lebty 3laya 2lmowage3 ya o5t nada

gigi .

Naseeeb

but the question is how does the man /the woman continueing loving the belved after knowing him/her is really very bad ????????

Balsam

What is called true love before marriage may change after marriage if there are problems of any kind. In marriage sharing, making decisions, yielding, compromising, facing economic problems, in laws problems, making decisive decisions etc all this and more may be rocks that break the tide of love. So one can not really tell if he/she loves the other partner till they succeed in passing these tests. Before marriage both are ( as George Eliot said) at the shore of a large lake, they do not know how large it is nor they know its limits and where the other side of the lake is, nor the kind of problems are waiting for them. When they both embark the boat of marriage and sail together they can solve all the questions about the lake. What is called love before marriage is as a psychologist said once- I forgot his name- a phase of attraction, it can be physical, mental, false, true, anything. Only after sharing life together can one say that he/she loves the other partner. Let us hope and pray that God guides us to the right partner and good luck to you and all who mean well by sharing their lives with another partner.

Desert Rose

Allah a3lam

VirGO ThE ViRgiN

when u got the ur desire answer i will check it.it is an important ?.

Last Pharaoh

some questions have no answers

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