What do I do about the snake in my stomach?

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Vlakvark Chabalala

This is very serious, my brother. This happened to my uncle. He found a cure for the snake. He went to the Indian shop and bought a big bottle of glycerine, which is a special muti that white people use. Like most white people medicine, it is useless, but in this case it helps. Then you need some hay, lifebuoy soap and a big bucket. You drink the whole bottle of glycerine and wait for 30 minutes. Then you go to the kraal, lie down and ask one of your wives to spread hay onto your stomach. Pretty soon, the donkeys will come to eat the hay, step on your stomach and whoosh!!! the snake comes out. You then wash yourself, your wife and the kraal with lifebuoy soap. This is true, it worked for my uncle.

Pyxis

Gambex kills lice on snake. Snakes like egg. Tie hardboiled egg to string and swallow. Snake will swallow egg. Pull string and snake will come out. Keep stick ready to hit snake. Careful not hit wrong snake.

fleur de lis mock ILF TTC #0

eat some lifebuoy soap of course.

Bob Mugabe MOTZANU_PFGOYA

This is certainly a case for Gambex. If you drink a bottle of Gambex, you will no longer need to worry about your snake. Eating two bars of Lifebuoy might work, Grace's n'anga says, but I would say Gambex.

mike

but a mouse near your a$$ and see if the snake goes for it.

Janaman

Drink Red Bull, it gives you wings.....it will make your snake bigger which you can then navigate up your anus to kill the one in your stomach.
Use your weapon, the "Black Mamba" is lethal.

cakes4africa

How absolutely terrible for you. Do you know what kind of a snake it is? If you could identify the snake, then your sangoma would know what special muti to use.

If it is a python, then the best is to have a dassie next to you in the bed. When you are asleep, the snake wil come out to eat the dassie, and then it will be too fat to go back inside you again.

If it is a skaapsteker, then you will have a problem, but it should be possible to tie a sheep to your bed so that the snake can get the sheep.

The easiest snake to get rid of is the African Boomslang. Ask your sangoma for a portion of "boom", and smoke it. This should make the snake high. I then suggest then you go to the day clinic and have a forceps delivery.

Have you ever tried eating a snake? The white people like to braai pofadder. Here is a recipe:

http://www.sa-indiana.org/index.php?option=com_garyscookbook&Itemid=70&func=detail&id=11

Res

Put your snake where it belongs you silly man!

Sophie C

Go to the witchdoctor and ask him to make a very powerful potion for your enemy so that he will have lots of snakes in his stomach. Also go to the hospital so that doctors can check you over, and see if there is anything else wrong with you.

Bryan H

Quick, give me $5,000 and I'll give you blessed snake herb cure.

SAgirl

First of all the sangoma's has got no power as long as you dont believe in it, it is all in the power of the mind.
Stop believing in the sangoma and all the spells etc and you will no more issues

Rated RKO Girl

So, the snake is in your stomach? Well, it won't be getting any food, so in time it should die from starvation. Then you can just take lots of laxatives & hope for the best :)

The Computer Nerd

I don't think you have a snake, I think its a worm. (unless you actually ate one).

There are many common parasites that cause your symptoms:
- Tape Worms
- Round Worms
- & so much more!

I suggest you speak with a doctor & have a X-Ray. I sooner the better! Parasite worms aren't easy to get rid of, it may require surgery.

Hedge Witch

Try a mars bar - they always fall for that one

pinkbubbles

You are to superstitious if you don't believe in this black magic it will not affect you but if you do go back to your witch doctor and tell her to cure you... you probably have a disease best advice go to a real doctor