Who should I marry ? a full saudi girl or half saudi half american or full american? CONFUSED!!?

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shimeringstars01

OK I really do agree with civil that this question should really go in the automotive section or something but I want to try to help anyway.

First, you said that if you marry a Saudi you will have to spend about $30k on the wedding. Well whoever you marry, Saudi, European or American you will have to have a wedding and give her mahar and gold. Maybe someone would give up her mahar to buy a house in both of your names that would be nice:)

Second, you meantioned a house, well no matter what the girl's nationality is she has to have a place to live so you will have to get a house too.

Third, you said you would have to get a Saudi girl 2 housemaids. Not all Saudis will require even one housemaid but I do think that most would prefer it. And some Saudi girls do work and insist on you allowing them to work.

Now about the Americans, well they will need a place to live also so you would have to buy a house either way. And even if the girl is American you still have to pay mahar and buy her gold and have a wedding. Some American girls would rather spend that money on a house then on mahar. So those 2 things remain the same no matter who you marry. American girls are hard working but she can't work outside and raise children and cook and clean all by herself. So if she works outside she will probably need a maid to help her at home. If she stays home then she may not need a maid but you will have to be the one to give her money. You have to be reasonable and fair here.

Not all Americans would allow their children to do anything as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. I am American and muslim and I would never allow my child to some of the things that Americans allow their children to do like dress inappropriatly, drink or do drugs, act gay, date around, ect.

I have no messed up knowledge about the middle east. I know that all Arabs are not terrorists. I know exactly what the American government has done to places like Iraq and Palestine. Don't imagine that all Ameican are vicims of the messed up media that goes on over there.

You need to ask yourself what you want from life. Including the specifics. Do you want a wife who works or one who stays at home and takes care of the house and kids? Do you want muhajaba or it doesn't make any difference to you? Where do you want to live? How many kids do you want to have? Is it ok if your wife travels alone? If not what if she just travels alone to her family? What jobs can you except your wife to work? What do you expect her to wear inside Saudi, what about when she is outside? How do you expect her to deal with your family? How many times a year will you go on vacation? If her family lives outside the country how many times will you pay for her to go and visit them? How religious are you? How religious should she be? What things do you expect her to teach your children? What is not ok for her to teach your children?

You have to know the answer for all these questions and more then you should talk to the girl about these things and find someone who wants the same things that you want. Don't worry about what nationality she is just care about if she wants the same things that you want or not.

Be careful about the cultural issue, you need someone who understands something about the Saudi culture. If the girl doesn't know anything about the Saudi culture you will have tons of problems. She may say and do things with you and your family that are exceptable for her but not at all excepted in Saudi. Do not convert any European girls to Islam to marry you I have seen too many times where they onvert and then change their mind later and then she may raise your children to be her religion.

Good luck! Follow your heart and mind. Consider the girl not her nationality.

CivilLizard

Are you sure this question isn't more suitable for the 'Other - Cars & Transportation' section. Do you have a Blue Book for these where you are?

I pray that when I was younger, much younger, I didn't sound like this! :-p

Vedastus T

Racist? Dogmatic? Rigid?

Just me

Im not sure this is the right place to post your question but heres my thoughts.

Bro, theres always a grey area.

Saudi girls dont require maids anymore. They are getting older and not married and their conditions are hardly there anymore.

So dont feel rejected if you havent even tried to propose and see what its like. Its YOU who sets your conditions and theres probably a quite a few that would meet your standards.

Theres all sorts of Saudis with different looks, values, colors, and backgrounds.

The other side of the fence ( non Saudis ) always appears to be greener. And you're hardly even seeing it as green!

First thing to do is not to expect perfection. Then when you propose to a girl and talk to her maybe you'll feel shes the right one? maybe not? Either way I doubt your feelings would be so .... white and black..

I like certain things in Saudi girls, other things in non Saudi girls. Such is life. Nobody is perfect, not even you and I.

I wouldnt "look" by nationality, as it depends on the individual, not her nationality. Although to marry a non Saudi, she'd have to be really outstanding because id think the risk is higher.

I lived half of my life in Saudi and the other half in the US where I was born. When im there I see the bad things, and remember the good things in Saudi. When im in Saudi I see the bad things and remember the good things in the states. This applies to people, certain values, and almost everything.

The other side of the fence always seems to be greener and we tend to have selective memories too.

To be honest from your posts I have the feeling that you feel rejected by Saudi girls and now drawing a perfect picture of the other side of the fence ( European girl ).

Well, you probably shouldnt feel rejected, and should try to actually propose and talk to a girl that you actually know good things about. Not some random girl on the net or the street.

And you probably wont find European girls to be as you hoped either.

I understand that the way things work here isnt as transparent as it is in western countries. But that has its possitive sides as well. So since you cant change Saudi or European girls, change the way you see things. Try to have a clear mind and see things in a possitive manner. Otherwise you wont be happy with a Saudi, European, American, Chinese, or Nigerian girl because 1- You'd always see what you dont have as better and 2- You'd expect perfection.

Finally, put the Romeo side of you aside and plan for a marriage that would actually last. And hope for a mother of your kids who you'd trust in raising them well and of high standards whether you're there or not.

Beyond that, I think if the marriage is functioning, its successful. Dont expect to be happy 100% of the time with ANY girl from anywhere!

In other words, see what negative things a potential wife has and ask yourself can you live with that or not? Thats what it comes down to. Perfection doesnt exist. And again, and sorry for repeating this a lot, the other side of the fence always SEEMS to be greener.

Many American men want foriegn women ( check no marriage dot com ) , and many American women want foriegn men. In the end a few of such marriages last, because a person would only see the possitive nice things in the "other" til reality hits.

ps theres lots of European Muslims, but once you get to know them you'll see their negative sides too and maybe apperciate stuff in local girls that you used to take for granted!

ameen(out for long time)

you should marry the right person for you
where you can live the moment with her
yet, you share some common dreams for future

Croix du Sud/Southern Cross

marriage is also love , you have no moral values, post your question under planes trucks and automobiles

Mintee

have you ever heard of "communication"... Not everyone is as shallow as you think..
There are wonderful saudi ladies that dont require much more than your love.. not necessarily the materialistic type you speak of...
Also there are wonderful american muslim women who are chaste and come from good moral backgrounds.. Even if she is christian, doesnt mean she will have bad morals.. GEEZ.. there are good women the world over.. Maybe you need to broaden your horizans and look for the better.. Ever think its who you know and who you hang out with?...
and whats wrong with a half/half person?....
I take offense at that cause Im half/half.. My Saudi husband appreciates me for who I am.. (and believe it or not) want to know the cost of my marriage?.... $15.00... yep.. thats it..
the cost of the filing fee, and blood test in USA.... NO dowry.. my husband gave me a trinket that I lsted as my dowry, and that was it... No money dowry was given... My family joke about it all the time, but I am happily married for 8 years and have 2 wonderful children.. and the money weve saved has bought us a beautiful home and a nice vacation then...

Soul

i'm a saudi woman and am extremly offended by this question, do you honestly think saudi women care about money and maids and wouldn't lift a finger in their own homes and for thier families??
we, as many have told me, have it all: looks, personality, family and career. and we manage it very well with out the help of maids or our dear husbands for that matter.
you're asking which should you marry as if women from all over are waiting for you to choose and they'll run to win this rare gem that you are...tell me what do you have to offer to saudi women or american or european ?
there's the good, the bad and the ugly in women of saudi as in the states and europe....you need to grow up a bit and your thinking matures cause your question and the way you presented it insults everyone including men.

Casablanca

What I can understand that you're not ready yet to marry any one.

Eccentric

dont mary anybody go to heaven u will get 72 virgins.

pls dont insult anybody by ur words. u seems muslims. why ur insulting other race?

KLM

Hmmm...to be honest, I found your question (dilemma?) a bit insulting. You've already sorted out Saudi girls and American girls into two neat little categories....why are you asking for advice? Why don't you try meeting someone nice? Don't worry about her nationality...just see what happens.

And why exactly are you fond of European girls? Are you sure they're not demanding like Saudi girls? Are you sure they won't mess your kids up like you assume an American girl would? Dude...you need to straigten out your perspective!!!

نجم

Hey, I don't think nationality should matter when choosing a mate. What is this puting people into categories. At the end of the day all women want the same thing.

MUK

All the above answers have got it right dude

Gigi

Hi,,,,I think that you have taken as examples stereotypical cases of saudi and american girls. Thankfully you did not forget the Europeans;P

It doesnt mean that all saudi girls will ask for a huge mahr or that all western girls will be happy if their children cross- dress:)

I am actually surprised to hear that westeners are happy for their children to be gay or get drunk? Come on with a little common sense you know that even if some children get derailed no parent would be happy.
Like the Middle East, the West also is a very old culture with rules to respect.

In my opinion, there are many nice people in both groups and also nowadays many westeners embrace islam.

So good luck- you have plenty of options- you just have to find the right person:)

FREEDOM -Down with Russia.

You should marry who you love. Nationality doesn't come into it.

Don't bother getting married, women are crazy. Just enjoy life and be single. If you really insist on getting married, then marry a Saudi, because American women are controlling and half saudis are too.

And since I lived in Saudi I have been hit on constantly by men and there are a lot of gays here. In fact I would say percentage wise there are more gays and lesbians in Saudi than in USA. In USA never has a man hit on me.

There is a thing said amongst Western expats here that you never take anything for free from a Saudi, because if it is a man, he wants you, and if it's from a woman, she is married and trouble

mdadam

Your question is correct, but not 100%.
The majority of people is OK.
Every group have bad and good.
so, u can select from (Saudi or American) good one,which is suitable for your life.

Humans are created by mixing of bad & good things.
Nobody in the world 100% bad or 100% good.

Best of luck.

Ms.me

ليش عامل زحمه والشارع فاضي ؟ آخرتها بتخلي الوالده تخطب لك ..ولا سالفة الامريكية طلعت صدق؟..امزح معاك ..بس يا شيخ سؤالك بيشمت العالم فينا و احنا مو كلنا كذا..ركز يا خوي اذا جيت تسأل

look, saudi ladies work as well. my mum got a job in 1 of the radio channels and interviewed more than 200 saudi working ladies only in one city. also they won't cost you such a costly wedding.

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