♥Lovely♥ ♥Diamond♥
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No, I wouldn't advise the girl to marry the woman. It is the man's responsibility to support the family. If the woman works and wants to help and the man accepts, then fine, but it should not be the basis of a relationship. Also, it should not be the criterion on which the guy would judge whether to marry the woman or not. It isn't right. There are other more important things such as love, honor, constancy etc... Also, a woman's salary is not secure, so starting a relationship where the woman is as responsible as the man isn't healthy. After a while the woman will become pregnant and will take leave of absence from work to care for the baby and God knows when she will be able to return. She might also opt for a part time job after that to be able to fulfill all her duties towards her home so there will be a drastic cut in her salary one way or the other. |
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AA
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No I wouldn't- A very very clear No
Why?
One of the beautiful things about the Egyptian/Islamic (in some cases) culture is that a man gives the wife an opportunity to be a home keeper and/or a career woman. For a relational society this is very healthy.
If a my husband had ever asked me about my income before married life then I would have considered him a different kind of man.
There are somethings about married life and the satges that normally come after married life (i.e child birth) that people need to know and really get to consider because 'once we have made our bed in most cases we must lay in it' so I will share it with you here; it is very very difficult to balance making money and being a working girl. A woman has a very delicate body and physically not only mentally she can only handle so much. Im not saying not to work but im saying practically all women find it difficult to create a healthy balance.
This is one of the reasons that women stay home and take care of children after married life. So what would happen if the females income dropped because she wanted to start a family or wanted to stay home and raise the children? How would he truly feel, would he put the female under pressure to return to work after child birth? Would the man want the women to wait till they saved money before having children- how much does a child cost?- Answer: how long is a piece of string? When is the best time to have children? Theres never a best financial time... So the couple would end up running into lots and lots of problems relating to fertility, differences of child rearing and could end up very unhappy people. As women do we have the biological time for these things? As a mother and a friend to many women that are not married yet, I know the answer is no.
Now a man that is so concerned with money at this stage would always be so concerned with money..always...life would be about money and not about enjoying life for what it is. Saving money is always good for security but we are not pharoahs we can not take it with us.
We make money to live we dont live to make money. |
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Kalooka
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no..i don't like this way of thinking..i know it's a hard world outside and if the wife can bring income then it's better for the whole family, but the norm for me is that a man is the one who's responsible for supporting his family, if the woman is willing to help then it's ok, also, she should have the right to decide the portion she would share it in the family.. |
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Eman G
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aguy once proposed and was asking those silly qs:
1- will ur daddy buy u a car?
2- will ur daddy give u a salary after marriage?
3- will ur mama give u her gold if we needed it?
i was just listening till he finished talking and i said "am so happy to know u, see u and bye bye".
No girls, don't marry this guy that asks all these. |
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sistablu...Maat
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It is a concern to me that you dont mention any level of love or affection between the couple. To marry just for a level of economic security is wrong and I consider totally immoral.
If I was this woman I would be wondering just how much does he love me?
If the majority of his questions are about my income and financial securities where does love,caring and compatibility fit in to the picture?
Too many questions too even contemplate a life long partnership together.
Even though we had the usual contracts drawn up prior to my own marriage, we also added a few additional clauses. There is no mention or expectation of me being liable to
contribute to the household financially in anyway, now or in the future and what is mine in the contracts, is mine always..
Ofcourse everyone has contracts drawn up to suit their own needs. I am just stating what mine entailed and that was to ensure my finacial security in the case of marriage breakdown,or anything unthinkable happening ,may Allah always protect him.
To be really honest my husband didn't even know I had a credit card until after we were married,because he never asked.
Our time together was spent learning about each other not how much we were worth.
By the time I had agreed to marry I knew he was marrying me for love and he saw it as his position to support me and to make sure that he provides for me the best lifestlye he can.
So my income is not expected to go toward household costs or into joint funds, it is my money to do with as I please.
In his words he "wouldnt have even contemplated our marriage if he couldnt afford to support and keep his wife".
I know this is still the case as I just asked him to check out what his feelings on the subject were.
So if I was this woman I would be really concerned that the language of finace was seemingly taking precedent over the language of love, and that doesnt speak too well of their future together.
addit* I know you are aware of this Moonrise, but for others information I am a Westerner and my husband is from Luxor.
From what I see many of these girls literally ask to be "taken for a ride". |
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Sup!
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Heres how the Prenup should go.......His bills are his bills and her bills are her bills that they aquired before the marrige. The rest should be 50/50. Who ever is the most responsible with their money should run the household budget and make sure the bills get paid and a savings account is established. If she makes more money then the extra should go into savings and SHE should decide what to spend it on. If a guy was nagging me about my money then it seems he wants to marry me so he can take my money and spend it on what he wants. It tells me he is not good with his money and he would sure as heck not be good with mine. I wouldn't marry the guy. |
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bravezeco1
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of course not,coz his majority was about money
but the life is partnership so not bad for a wife to help her husband in the life expence |
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Chrissyangel
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No! Sounds like he is after money,I have got husband like that so I know.And if he is one of the guys from Luxor Egypt BEWARE!,well any country for that matter,would not trust a guy like that,if your the girl he wants to marry,i would advise you not to marry him,and like I said if you are from UK and met the guy in Egypt be very careful,as they do it alot to western girls its a known fact. |
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Abu Aya
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No, that would be wrong. |
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Irrational Man
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i am so glad i have been invited. No i would not marry a guy....actually under any circumstances. |
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teacher4ever
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i would ask him why is he interested in my finances. it could be that he has a lot of money and he does not want a woman mooching off of him.i would also want to know about his finances also i guess one could call it fair game. |
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caffeine
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I wouldn't. To me, it's about them (i.e. who they are). If it's about income, that's not the way I do it. |
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ash.wri
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no, you would want to do pre marriage counseling first. that will just set you up for fighting and huge financial problems in your marriage...which could lead to divorce. |
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CandyHearts
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Oh my god, no! |
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Jason W
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There was a question on here the other day that talked about this woman and how she fell out of love with her husband and how she wanted to leave. She said she couldn't because she has 2 daughters and she couldn't "afford" to make the move.
In short, if a guy cares about the woman's personal power then that is a good thing. Marriage is neither here nor there, but to be concerned about those types of issues shows that he is thinking ahead...its better that then if he wasn't concerned at all. People say love conquers all and love is all there is...I think Love is vital but don't turn your brain off to the many other issues that go along with a relationship outside of love.
(EDIT:)
To the other posters that said no because he wants her money...the asker specifically said that expenses would be shared 50/50 |
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private
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Since I am a guy. I will say, Please excuuuuuuuuue me.<}:-})
Seriously though.
If this girl is to marry this guy. Have her spouse to be,
sign a "pre-muptual aggreement" before the marriage.
Then see if he still intends to get down on his knee's. <}:-}) |
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Doglover D
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he wants to be the boss of the house ppl think girls arent strong theis days they are and we are taking over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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I'm so freaking hot
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For the mere fact that he only seems interested in her salary no. However, If both work they should share the expenses. If one stays home while the other works the homebody should at least keep the house clean, do the laundry, grocery shopping and cooking. As far as 50/50 it depends on the bills. Only if that particular bill pertains to both the woman and the man. |
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Katie
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no, he might just want her money. |
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Why breed with pets in need?
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Hells no, sounds like he just wants to get married to pay the bills. |
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richnorm
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NO |
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aly
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hell no... it seems to be his main interest by asking mainly about money and income. and seems like if thats all he is asking then he is in it to use her and like a "gold digger" |
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jennstarrz
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Well, you'd want to find out about him first. Why would he be so interested in her income -- is he not cutting it himself? Sounds like a mooch to me. |
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jazzy
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nope. doesn't care about you. not love.... it will most likely end up in divorce |
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bluezgirl55
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No, that does not sound like a good way to start off a marriage or a relationship, anything dealing with money is a personal matter though and needs to be discussed. Sharing the cost of living with your partner is fine, although the way things sound, he might just want a free ride if all he is interested in is her income
Good Luck |
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April2007
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My opinion is that marriage should only take place if both individuals are in love with each other. However, different countries have different cultures and different traditions.
I don't understand why the man is interested in the woman's financial situation. My opinion is that the woman should not marry this man. But my culture and traditions are definitely different. |
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Lissa
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no, he just wants the money, it seems like it to me. |
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Tattoo Steveo
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Girls and guys should pay 50/50. The world is getting expensive and its getting harder to live. It is very important that both of you will be able to make it together. No one wants to be with a person who will be broke all their life. Then other problems will come up if you are both struggling with money. |
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SunKissedKelly
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No. Because in a relationship he needs to know more about the person than what they make and how they spend it. |
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LuckyWindy
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Me no way. I already have someone to support. But I know some ladies are looking for a sugarbaby(male) or 50% 50% deals. |
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strawberry_shortcake
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going soley on the information you have provided and not assuming anything else i would so no, definately not.
He is trying to hit easy street so that he doesnt have to earn much and he can just leach off her... NOT a good idea.
If she is smart she will not marry him. ITs a recipe for disaster |
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