Shall I queue for the door?

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Diarmid

These people who stand up before their stop in order to get off the train first are the same people who pile onto the train before anyone has got off, in order to grab the seats first.

The solution:

Have a curry, nae, have a curry for breakfast lunch and tea, the day before.

Get one 1.5 litre ice cream tub with lid intact (empty).
Take a dump in the ice cream tub and use a spatula to smooth off the edges before freezing the excrement.

board the train and pose the "ice cream" near the door. As people near the tub and huddle around the door it will gradually melt. Those who do not move away will have their shoes and slacks soiled by the liquid fecal matter and those who move away, further down the train, will have to stand in the aisle, behind the first group of queuers. This, to a queuer, is worse than being covered in human excrement.

If you think this is a little harsh try tear gas or a telescopic baton around the back of the knee caps.

Hope this helps.

Troubled Joe(the ghost of)

i wouldn't. the only benefit of queing for the door is looking a bit sad, desperate, stupid and a bit of an arsehole

Beckylou

Unless you really need to get of the train any quicker stay sat down. Why would you want to stand for 10 mins unless you had to?

prince_henry

if you still get off, when you have sat down then stay sat down why bother standing if you get the same result.
i find your question a bit empty

toons

Yes, and when you've been on a plane stand up before the steps have arrived, and you'll reep the benefits of this too!!!

Peter H

I like to wear a very large rucksack on the tube. 35 - 40 litres. I don't fill it with anything heavy. Just a duvet. And I put cuttlery in the outside pouches so that it sticks out a bit. Not enough to cause severe lacerations. Just minor scratches. Then I like to hold onto the pole in the middle of the train by the exit. When people begin to cram the exit I like to slowly walk round the pole taking care to only bash into people who are "Queuing" for the door. People who are simply standing because they couldn't get a seat are acceptable collateral damage if they begin to frown, mutter, or gesticulate, but otherwise try to avoid them. When the tube finally pulls into the station shake from side to side as you steam train through the queueing passenger. Boonch of Koonts !!!

Curt

Gibson,

It must be nice to have a life so completely in order that this is all you can come up with. By the way, I was in Philly over the weekend and saw the royals. Pretty cool.

luddite

As Spike Milligan once said, these people waiting at the door really believe they'll arrive more quickly.

Jimwon

You should always queue aggresively. To do any less, simply isn't cricket.

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