Dealing with filipino relatives?

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Î© allan y

apply with the witness protection program and disappear from the face of the philippines

Jim S

Here is what I do. I tell them that i had to work hard for my money and if they want some of it, they will have to work for it too. There is always something that needs doing. Funny how many don't need money if they have to work for it but for those who are prepared to work, I am happy to give them the money.

They can be painting the house or working on projects to improve the house or giving massage, or washing clothes or act as house maid.

I think it is too late for your house. I personally would just make sure I had my own private area when I moved back in. Lot's of relatives hanging around doesn't bother me, so long as they are mostly just eating rice.

Regards: Jim

A.W.

You cannot have a house in The Philippines and not be there. Ralathieves will move in there like cockroaches and are even harder to get rid of. Sure, they will preach to you about "sharing" and "family" and all that crap but, the bottom line is they are bloodsuckers. They will turn on you in a New York minute as soon as the money dries up. I used to help as much as I can afford but they always take advantage and turn out to be your worst enemy in a pinch. I strongly encourage anybody who wants to buy or build a house in The Philippines to do it far away from relatives.

theonethatgotaway

a good storyline for a filipino soap opera.
kick them out as early as possible.
tell them your going to use it.

Babby Joshua Christomato

..
.. well, this is one problem that we Filipino faces.. a close family ties.. and we do value family...but first thing first.. who really is our family.. does it involve the whole clan.. nope!.. a family of my own.. nothing more.. remember even the bible says when you get married.. "you shall leave thy father and thy mother and ye shall become one".. that means me and my wife and our children if we decided to have them..

.. well there's nothing wrong in helping relatives at some point depending on their 'emergency' need... but not to the point of feeding their whole family whilst they'll be lying around all day long and wait for the rain to come.

..in your case, I will put my foot down.. and that means touch the ground..

..I will tell them that I need the place.. and give them a month to look for a place for refuge.. If they hold grudge against me.. so be it.. this is an unfair world anyways.. and besides I would not let them affect me in my everyday dealings..

.. Politely i'll ask them at first.. but show them the strength in my words, I don't have to explain them why.. and thats it end of the story.

.. Charity begins at home as always is not the case in this practical world..

.. but that would be me!

Maeh

Oh... what a mess. i feel sorry for you to have such relatives. a lot of Filipinos, sad to say, have this notion that those who work abroad are their "saviors", and some even abuse the generosity of their relatives (like what yours have done to your mother).

I suggest that you sell your house. harsh, I know, but it's the only way to kick them out. as long as the house is yours, then they will stake their claim.

i feel very strongly against such kind of people--you're the one who worked hard for it, and yet they want to claim it as if it's their own.

I say sell the house and buy another one that's far from where your relatives are.

Melvin

Sorry but you got to be harsh. You may be your mother's son but you are different. Kick them out and be firm about it. Bring police with you if necessary. There's no other way.

Sure, we Filipinos have close family ties. But if there's anyone worthy of your love, help, and support, they would only be your parents and siblings. Heck, I don't even know most of my pinsans.

These so called "relatives" will suck you dry. Once you stop sending in the cash they'll treat you as the "kontrabida" in their soap opera lives. Cut them off now or you'll be sorry.

pero_102

play good cop -bad cop, have yourself be the good cop and your spouse, better if a temporary ,dispensable or one to do the acting be the bad cop, and have your relatives, the undesirable ones be ejected by having your house sold,or occupied by others for any reason.
you can't just leave your relatives or even friends who had helped you when you were down, give them justice at least. To those whom you despise, hire them and give them task that they would mostly reject.

â˜…â˜…â˜…â˜¼

Wow you're in a predicament there my friend. I know you're itching to kick them out, but I say think of your nephew and niece's well-being. My suggestion is to have them start paying rent. It doesn't even have to be a lot, just anything that can help you financially. Or you can have them be in charge of paying the bills while they're living in your house. Be wise about it so they won't take advantage of you but also don't forget to have a big heart. However, if they're still being crafty and expect you to shoulder the load, then do what you have to do. Just make sure those kids have somewhere to stay though. Don't be a fool to anyone while making your mother proud of you.

Johny

Mate what a situation you have on your hands. Ok the way I see it is that it's your house,you bought it and it belongs to you. Now they have moved in without your consent while you were away and that just isn't on in my opinion. If I were you I would put my foot down and say yes we are family but that property is yours and you have the law on your side if need. Be firm and say that you have plans for that house and that they have a specific time frame to get out otherwise its going to get nasty. You know filipinos will take advantage if they can but you need to be cut throat about this and tell them you aint gonna let it fly.

Get a lawyer or the police involved or talk to the head of the Barangay your in. Either way it's up to you but if it were me I wouldn't let them get away with this simply because its grossly unfair to you since you worked so hard. It's going to be messy but it needs to be done and you'll most likely be universally hated within all the family but hey its your house right? It's a shame at the beggining you should have made clear you were not the type to even test this with. God help you mate, you'll need it.

You can pick your friends but not you family.
I would have no problem telling them they have two days to move or all their stuff goes in a truck to the dump.
One of the best things I did once I was sure I was staying was buy the old house She and her family was living in. I bought it from her Bohol uncle for a thousand and it has served to keep them not living with me.
I loan I don't give. I do pay for schools.
You have to draw your own line. Just be sure you have nothing to feel guilty about the rest of your life.

Spotter 888

Sell the house asap. The longer you wait the worse it is going to get. Give a reason that you will be going abroad or investing in a business.**

nang.amie

I moved away from them as far as possible.

jean

you'd be better off selling your place. but make sure you have someone you trust to oversee the eviction and look after it until you hand over the keys to the new buyer.

why do you need someone to watch while they move out - 2 things can most likely happen:
1. they'll strip the property bare of anything usable - wood, doors, faucets, tub, etc.
2. they'll destroy the property that you can't make use of it. put holes in wall, gouge floors, etc.

Unfortunately, I've learned this from personal experience.

Aref H4

This is a job for the Mission Impossible Team.

Here's the scenario. You come home suffering from a mysterious disease, accompanied by several hired actors/actresses, each playing their role. One by one, these figures around you die off - all attributed to that mysterious disease you're carrying. We can up the ante. In the evening, these people who died wake up from their coffins and start molesting people with their fake fangs, especially your girl cousins. I could even volunteer for this job.

mickey the zombie

consult yer lawyer and ask for a legal advice, if nothing works for ye, purchase a butcher knife and do the right thing.

radsr2002

First, is the house titled in your name?

If the answer is yes, then this is the way to proceed.

You hire a Lawyer @ once. The Lawyer will formaly file evection charges on them.

Since you are not present, only a lawyer can stand in your place @ court. I would hire a Lawyer even if I were around. That would distance you from the personal process.

Make sure the Lawyer goes into the home with the Police and takes pictures of everything while they are present. And inform them that there is a record of everything in the home and criminal charges will be filed if the home is striped.

Pay a local neighbor to keep an eye on the home and make sure he has your and the Lawyers cell numbers; incase they start to tear the place up. If so call the police @ once and meet them there. But do not personaly engage your cousins yourself. Let the proper authorities do it!.

Property rights are very clear in the Philippines as long as the place is titled to your name.

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