Does poverty justify marrying another for a greencard in the USA or for financial opportunity?

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john s

Seventeen years ago, when I was 58, I married a young Japanese student for the very practical reason of allowing her to stay here and live in the US after graduation. We had a prenuptial agreement to protect me. She was an excellent student, and I gave her complete freedom; allowed her to have all the boyfriends she chose.

Ii put her through law school, and she is currently employed at a six-figure salary by a large firm. She visits her family in Japan regularly.

We have continued to live together and she is completely committed to the relationship. I am retired with plenty of money, and she has a career that can care for her whether she remarries upon my death or not.

We have always slept together, but it never was important to either of us beyond just being comforting.

Were I single and met a bright youngster of any race or nationality who could look forward to making a contribution here and wanted to stay, I would beat down the I.N.S. obstacles and marry the kid and petition for her in a minute to give her that break and let her go when she was ready to fly.

I should add that I speak four languages very well and enjoy very much contact with other cultures. I know that not everyone likes exotic things, I just happen to.

Palimos Po @ 12

hi, sir film. when i'm of legal age and still indigent, can i marry you so i can get a greencard? thank you po!

shopsummor

i am not fillipino, but i would like to add that once both parties know the situation and consent then no one is harmed. but if there is no love involved, on the part of the poor one that is, then s/he is just using and deceiving the other person and getting them into a very complicated and miserable situation once the truth is revealed and the used person is hurt. to me using someone for purely selfish reasons is unconscionable. if the poor person is actually in love with the other party and will treat the other person with respect and love once reaching the USA and shows thanks and true affection (not like a doormat of course) then i don't see a problem.

Aileen HK

I'm a Chinese living in Hong Kong, I can see a lot of filipinas dating white guys in the streets on Sunday or some of them are married couples with kids, there may be some hidden issue about their marriage or relationship, but it is none of my business. Love can be developed if both of them respect each other and be serious and positive!

When I visited Seattle, I saw a big fat guy in his mid forties with his very young and skiny Filipino fiancee queuing in front of me holding a pile of documents, I guess that's something like fiancee visa for that gal to stay in US for 90 days and if they didn't get married, she has to leave US.

In my humble opinion, not just the Filipino wants to "justify" poverty by marrying a US guy, may be the US guy also finds that Filipino is easier to talk to, or is nicer to be with.. well, he needs a little bird next to him like snoopy.. the cultures are different, girls in US are kinda like "Helen Ready"... I'm woman, Hear me roar, ... I'm strong ... No offend to the ladies in US, interrace marriage is not just because of "justifing" poverty, I surely believe it isn't!

Getting a greencard isn't a easy life, being alone in a foreign country and you have to build up your social life from zero, learn to compromise with your boy friend or husband in various issues, you should be amazied that they can keep their marriage longer than those who are from the same race.

I have a friend who married (she is a Cantonese from Hong Kong) to a Chinese in LA, told me how lonely she was when she first be there, absolutely they were in love and she decided to move to US alone with him, luckily her husband and his parents can speak Cantonese, so, no language barrier and her in-laws helps taking care the kids too. But she still visits Hong Kong every year and always sends invitations to us to visit her there. Giving up your hometown and move to a new place for just because of "love" or "marriage" is a real big decision.

marilyn m

One can marry for a variety of reasons, love isn't always the criteria for a good marriage; however, if one can't afford to pay their way into this great country, please don't force taxpayers, like myself, to pay for WIC, child birth, and welfare to support their immigration efforts.

dirty t

Yes, so long as both partners understand what is going on.

warrior is a child

what is more justified?seeing our fellows suffer from the wrath of poverty?
if one goes beyond the very reason why poverty exists in our country then one could see clearly the answer to this. has it been jusitfied when the government deprived us of our needs? is it justified that the imperialist countries continues to utilize our own resources - human and natural resources alike.

btw, i admire ai-leen's answer. it's good to hear from another nationalities re: their views on matters concerning us..

GROMIT

Marriage for purely materialistic purposes does not justify it. Keyword here is "purely." The sad thing is, it has happened before, many times. Just look at the royal houses of Europe, most of these noble people married out of convenience. Anyway, I know it's against all the romantic (and moral) fibres of Filipino men, so bear with me.

Now guess what, oftentimes, with the passing of time, a marriage of convenience can become justified. This is because people's feelings change. Oh yes, if we can change for the worse, then we can also change for the better. Another reason would be that there was really attraction that went on between the two persons involved. Did you know that a large number of women who post ads on sites like myasianrose did not do so for the sole purpose of materialism, but also because they like Western males? They like Western males not only in a sexual way, but also because they look up to them (sad but true because of our cultural upbringing.) And yet, there you have it, that's one sure ingredient that makes a good marriage. What's more, a large number of men who look for Asianroses do so because of this quality in Asian women, the quality of being submissive. Well, at least, that's their impression. It's true. (I must point out, though, that not all Asian women are submissive.)

I can understand why you're getting negative responses from people. Not all of the poor Filipinas who married to Western men did so for the sole purpose of acquiring a green card. There are other reasons as well, veritable ones. However, I do sort of see your point, there are a lot of wolves out there in sheep's clothing. These mercenaries leave a path of hurt in their wake.

You know, the funny thing about marriages is that they're hits and misses. One day, you're smooching with each other in romantic fervor, and the next day, divorce. It could also be a pre-arranged marriage, where both parties haven't even set eyes on one another until the wedding day, and yet the marriage lasted a lifetime. Therefore, a marriage of convenience more or less has the same chance of success as a valid one. Speaking of the royal houses of Europe and how they came to be, I'm also wondering if at some point of time one of my ancestors also married for the sake of money? If he/she hadn't done that, where would I be right now? Where would a large number of people here on earth be right now?

Easy ka lang, Filamusa. The true mercenaries will get their just desserts.

oneiloilojeepney

Yes and it happens everday ! Why do you think some hot/sexy 20 yo Philippima marries some 60 plus yo white guy ? Sure ain't because she is attracted to anything but his money/Citizenship. The 5 year plan is alive and well . 5 years to a greencard and your boyfriends financially secure future in the U.S.A. I went through hell because of this. My wife was 32 and I was 45. Yet I was treated as though she was some barslut. I hate you people that set the tone for us to go through this stuff.

Endanger

Nax! Why do you always have to ask the same thing?
Get over it. Robert with a hat is right.
Siguro you were badly hurt a lot of times. Try to forgive & forget.
Move on.
Nakakaiyak na kasi... Charing!

Jackie P

I am Filipino, so I have seen for myself what our country is like.
Its a yes and no type of answer for this question.
Yes because its a means for survival, its your choice who you marry. You are the only one who can live your life for you.

I would say no if its the only reason for the union. Marriage is a sacred union of two souls who vow to respect and honor each other throughout the rest of their lives. Its sad that the divorce rate now a days is so high. What ever happened to marrying someone for love and just having the financial aspect as a bonus?

one_realist

Hello. While I am not Filipino, I would like to tell you some things alright? Marrying someone merely for a greencard to live in the US or for financial opportunity is WRONG, and so it's morally and ethically wrong! God gave the institution of MARRIAGE so that souls can be complete, for the complimenting of the other and for HIS glory. Marriage is not for convenience, to get a passage to Easy Street and the like. Marriage is to be HOLY, not entered into lightly, and is for the purpose of LOVE! So poverty or ANY other issue than love and for the glory of God is not sufficient reason. You need to do what you can morally correct to lift yourself out of it and get your needs taken care of. I don't believe in getting married for the sake of the kids or after a child has been conceived in illegitimacy. Those will not work and though understandable it's wrong. Marry out of love, to take care of someone you love, to be unto God's glory. Anything else cheapens the value and worth of it. Pray and ask God to help you and as you take care of your family may He help you. Marriage is supposed to be UNTIL DEATH DO PARTS YOU. It is a covenant between two people in love and faithfulness. So please... do the right thing!

fakebobjones

I have no problems with marriage for citizenship as long as both parties are aware of the situation. However, most people I know that did this were not poverty stricken as they paid (literally) for the marriage.

kariz

No....if marriage is only 4 d green card then i dont think its worth it..

Lola

the word "justify", hmmmm... if you have experienced the kind of poverty where one can hardly eat three times a day. when you see your brothers and sisters who can hardly go to school for lack of funds. when the life of your loved ones are at stake... well... it justifies the act.

B-Boy

I'm not filipino but I feel everyone deserves a decent life and if it is your only chance wouldn't you take it? I certainly would.
I was living in poverty 6 years ago and just happend to work my way into a great opportunity and now have have my finances completely in order.

Green eyed girl

I don't think so. I believe marriage isn't a business transaction, but a union based on love and wanting to spend the rest of your lives together. Poverty stinks, no doubt about it, but many are in poverty here in the US as well, and they don't become opportunists simply because they're poor. Our lives are what we make of them, and I don't think I would feel good about being used for a green card, or be able to look myself in the same way knowing a married someone simply because money was the motivator. I think we should all live our lives honestly, and to the best of our ability. Marrying someone for a green card........that's just wrong for both parties.

Suesan W

Let me guess someone you were in love with married an American for what you believe to be only financial reasons.

Get over it!!!!!

Don Magias

I think it only counts if they love each other or at least, the immigrant is hot!

â™¥SeReNdIpItYâ™¥

depends what country and what the circumstances are. For some people its the only way they can get out of it.

Claire Redfield

Honestly, I think both. Life in the Philippines is so hard. People here wants to live a happier life, which can just be attained by having a more prosperous life. How do Filipinos get that? By getting out of here and going to other countries. One way to have legal papers there is marrying a man/woman who is a citizen of the US. I've lived there for quite a while, and I've known a lot who did it. So, if you're asking if it's for the green card or for financial reasons, it's both. When you already have the green card, you will now be able to work there legally, and by working there, you can help your families left back here in the Philippines. That's the main reason why Filipinos marry US citizens. I mean, I don't discriminate my people, but all I know is that most of them does that. I can';t blame them though, life is really difficult here. I wouldn't blame them if they wanna get out of this 3rd-world and very pathetic country.

john

No.

Mick

If the man agrees to it, then yes. If a guy doesn't want to go down that path, he shouldn't, and he'll have made the choice that is right for him.
Sometimes women marry a guy with only one thing in mind, and that's to get out of their country, get American citizenship, then divorce him and stay in the States. They use guys, and the guy probably thought he had a future with her. Men just have to be aware of their vulnerabilities, and not get into situations where they'll end up losing.

Gerardo

yes

yung jt da *****

yes

imputh

not filipino but NO!

?Cleopatra?

To each of their own.

carol

no, because i had my own life and consider my family well off in the PHILS.

i got married because i thought i love him and he loves me.

but boy was i wrong.

topaze44

I think the only justifiable reason for marriage is love between two people who are free to marry. Of course there other reasons people marry which we call marriage of convenience like marriages arranged by parents (in some cultures); also marriages out of necessity (due to poverty) and for other reasons other than honorable. Many marriages of convenience, however work out well for couples especially if they have learned to love each other. In these case, we could say that end justifies some means.

Bob

Why has the world forrgotten who helped them rebuild after both World Wars. Hmmmmm. Good piont.

stilettofan

If its just for the money then it would not justify the whole situation. Marriage is a bond for two people who are inlove and respect eachother and openess to their relationship. That should be reason for marriage, not an easy way out of getting a green card from some american guy which is very immoral. Unfortunately, the world see's things in a more materialistic way already, everything seems to be ok for the sake of money. Yes there's a huge scale of poor people in the Philippines, but if you look into the reason why they are poor also has something to do with their lifestyle. Sure they can't eat 3 times a day, but do they keep up a job to sustain their needs?

Hate to generalize it but most women who goes for these men are gold diggers. I don't want to be bitter on this but hey....it's been considered a fact.

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