How can we tell flattery from a real compliment?

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Instinct partially, but usually you can decipher a genuine compliment from flattery in two different ways. People who are sincerely complimenting you will pick something small like a pair of earrings to compliment on, they'll walk up to you and say "I like your earrings." A flatterer on the other hand might say "Wow those are the most incredible earrings I've ever seen in my life, where did you get them, I wish I had great style like you." And it's also most likely flattery if the person compliments you miltiple times instead of just one short sweet comment.

Big P

You can tell by the lack of substance from the compliment.
Most real compliments are followed by words of encouragement to stay the course.

FiestaQueen

it depends on whos saying it and how hes saying it. in any case be sure to say 'thank you."

KhK

Compliments come from true admirer/friends, you'll know them as they compliments also will they show concern when you're down. Those who flatters has the history of running aways during your time needs or plainly watch you getting dumped and even make fun out of it. Compliments and Flattery can't go hand in hand.

chika09

its always flattery

this world is too selfish to compliment people

except me ofcourse!

NICE PIC

now that was a compliment.

Jaimee seeks HARMONY!

Flattery is too flowery.

Compliment is more of simple thoughts but could melt your heart.

pero_102

flattery is a compliment given with something expected in return.
compliment is a flattery given with nothing expected in return.

Blackswan

gather the evidence. 1. A character judgment should be made about the person giving the compliment (ie: does this person give a lot of compliments to people, & what is their motivation) 2. Do you think that the compliment could be possible. 3. Body language, Conviction in voice, Eye contact.4. Spontaneity. Did the compliment seem planned or was it just a simple remark upon noticing something?

Juan C

it depends on the tone...

_smile_'s Kometa of Biga-a

If it was sincerely said.

:)

Jongbong (ì¢…ë´‰)

zzz... on how is it been said. all compliments are flattery but real compliments sink into your brain. hmmm... beer... zzz...

xer0blast

flattery is OA

compliments are just simple.

yuanyuan

For me, it's one and the same. Flattery does not have to have a negative connotation in the same way that a compliment could be mixed with hidden derision.

crispy pata

flattery-overdone; in cooking thats burnt food
compliment-just right; in cooking thats good food

BUNNY

Ask yourself if it's believable.

Mamilinda :)

It depends on how it's said. For example, at my job one day a married and older gentlemen said to me"I don't want to sound like I'm flitting because I can be your dad, but I just wanted to tell you that you're beautiful" and then a couple of weeks ago I went to a McDonnald's and there was a young handsome guy with his lil daughter and he waited for me to get my order so as I was walking out of the place he said "Hey, listen, I had to wait for you to tell you that you're beautiful. No disrespect and I aint tryna flirt but I think that beautiful people deserve to be told"

So I like those kind of compliments. But I hate the ones that start like that and then they keep up the convo,...that's when it starts becoming flattery. Example,
"wow, you're really pretty" -guy, girl says "ah, thanks!" (smiles),..."Yeah, no prob, those earrings of yours are popping let me tell ya (he says this JUSt to make you laugh again...and consequently to break the ice) then he adds "so are you out here shopping?....." THAT's what I call flattery

John M

you just do

are they trying to impress you or

do they really mean what they say

MIZZ B.

usually a real compliment is realistic and see if the person is looking you in your eyes, if so, i'd say that's a real compliment.

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