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Purple Tactics

How to dump / break up with a Filipino girl without hurting her feelings (too much)?

I'm asking this for a colleague of mine...
He's French and has been with this Filipina for quite some time. I guess the flame just faded.
I told him (out of experience) that Filipinas, especially those from pampangga, can get quite sinister when someone would break their fragile hearts and this scenario scared the stankin feces out him.

Any suggestions?

(If it would help you come up with ideas... she has a black belt in taekwondo)
Additional Details
So it's like... break her heart, she breaks your nose.

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Aref H4
Tell your friend he owes it to the girl to tell her in the face.

If he is man enough to fall IN love, be a man enough to FALL OUT.

I am a Filipino, and I also know the Filipina heart. It is understanding, kind, and tough as bamboo. For all we know, she knows by now. Filipinas are notorious as mind readers, you know. It could be she is just waiting for your friend to talk seriously about it.

And aren't we downgrading the civility of the Filipina by implying she uses martial arts not to defend her life, her honor, or her loved ones? For all we know, a tear may fall, but a fist shall never be used in anger. A black belt should know better. It is instilled in the dicipline.

Read my lips, PT...."hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
But if he's still brave enough to do it, here's my personal "how to"; i.e., not found in any advice book. Tell your friend to do the following:

1. have a big date with the girl...all the, wine and dine, etc.

2. when he brings her home, slip a note to her as he leaves
(very important, tell him to walk fast - not run - to his car and don't look back)

3. the note should say something like "forgive me for being a coward but I just have to let you know things are not working between us and it's best for you to dump me now than later. thanks for everything"

4. if the girl calls, he's not available...and he better not be available and hide, if he must.

If done properly, this will work...and the girl saves her face because she is the dumper, instead of the dumpee. Everybody happy.

Hey, newluv, you're not thinking of dumping me, are you?

haha, tell the frenchman nobody dumps a filipina! nobody!

zzz... tell her when she's drunk... hmmm... beer... zzz...

tell him pretend to be bankrupt, lost jobs and such other things...nature will take its course.

Romerico G
the best is really just tell her the song goes, break it to her gently

you just can't brother! you are doomed for the rest of your life! good luck! lol

It's simple, there is no easy way. Just remember, when you do the deed, Karma is going to strike you back 10 times over. It sucks breaking up with someone, just don't be gutless and tell them via email or text message. Look them straight in the eye and tell them why. This way if they do try to hurt you, you have proof !!!

philosophical beaver
no matter how he does it, it would still hurt her if she's really into him. but he should be honest with his feelings. tell her that even if they continue seeing each other, it won't develop into something "permanent" and that it would only hurt them both if they continue with the relationship. it would be nice to offer to be friends. what's important is to apologize and make her see that there is nothing wrong with her, it's he whose feelings have waned. then just make himself scarce until she gets over him. if he is really scared of her, the thing to do is to break up with her, not really in a public place, but he should have someone with him, just in case she gets physical on him. break up at her place but with a male friend waiting for him outside. at least someone can bring him to the hospital just in case......kidding!!!!

There is no getting around it. If they've been together for that long, he is sure to break her heart, no matter how tough she seems (with her black belt and all). Telling it to her straight is the most manly thing to do, he may even end up being friends with her. Of course, he should expect being asked 7,000 questions so he had better be ready with good answers. A simple "I fell out of love" won't cut it so the explanation has to be detailed, when exactly what happened, who possibly has caused the drift (third party?), etc. Sugarcoat if he has to, but be totally honest. Filipinas have a keen nose for liars.
If they have absolutely no chance of seeing each other again, the easiest (and the jerkiest) way is disappearing into thin air. He avoids confrontation this way, and a possibility of a slight (or severe) injury. Again, they must never meet again after, or else he might as well have moved to the netherworld if they ever cross paths in the future.

sir purple, lol. having a black belt in taekwondo doesn't give her the edge when it comes to reality that her bf will break up with her. it's your friend who knows the depth of this woman's character and he should have an idea of how she will react to this kind of revelation.

there is no way to avoid hurting her feelings but if i'm the girl, i prefer the honesty and the truth and i don't care how much it will hurt me.

Nate !
tell her " I just dont think its going to work between us, but i still want to be friends" it might sound harsh, but it works and hasnt failed me. they take it really nicely.

TELL HER personally, face-to-face

DON'T use email, letters, text messages, phone calls, post-its, etc.

haha. well, im filipina. i dont know her, but filipinas have the same feelings as everyone else. of course it hurts to get broken up with. i think he should come up with a good *** excuse to leave her.. stop being so damn stereotypical! please and thank you! =)

dark angel 16
Follow your heart and do what you feel to be right.

Stop listening to other people who are not on your path. You've heard the old saying to walk a mile in another's shoes before judging them. Well, the fact is that no one has walked in your shoes and they have no right to tell you what is right or wrong for you.

Stop repeating old patterns and stop punishing yourself for things that others perceive to be wrong. Follow your heart and your passions. Only then will you truly be happy.

It is not your responsibility to make anyone else happy, but it IS your responsibility to make yourself happy.

STL Biker
if it were me i would make sure i was out of the country and then send her a letter explaining all she needed to know. getting out of the philippines is for his own safety of course

This is tougher than it sounds.

I think he has to face her like a man to break the news. The initial beating won't be that bad. But, maybe visit some family in another region for a few months after that night. Once she gets to talking to her friends and new points are made about his punishment things could get dangerous. He doesn't want to be around for that.

If you are going to dump/break up with a girl you'll definitely break her heart.There is no way out but to tell her face to face.And be a man to face whatever the consequences,be it a punch or a slap in the face.Be a man,take it and bear it.But please tell your colleague to break it gently,soften the blow and emphasize the positive attributes of the girl.
Thats the way I see it.Though have'nt done it yet,hopefully never will.

break it to her gently. i mean,any girl would get hurt regardless of what race/nationality. i suggest have a mature talk..over a cup of coffee or somewhere where only the two of them can talk and think...

well.. if she uses her taekwando skills.. good luck to her future xbf..hahahaha..consequence of breaking her heart.

Nah, Filipinas are more likely to chop his balls off after financially ruining him and taking him for everything he has got and they never forget

sinister Pampanguena, hmmm.
not me, PT.
anyway, all he have to do is be honest.
and grab a "palanggana" to shield his face.

He should just be honest with her. If he hasn't done anything wrong, like started seeing other people or anything, there is no way (realistically) that she can be upset.

It may be helpful to make it sound like he's doing her a favor by allowing them both to get out now. It gives her the chance to find someone who will make her feel how she should feel in a relationship. If he feels the flame has faded, then it has, regardless of how she feels.

Let's just hope the flame has also faded for her. It seems like it must've because it's hard for the flame to fade on only one side. Good luck to your buddy, hahaha us ladies are COMPLICATED sometimes :)

The way I see it he only has two options.
He stands upto her and tells her the truth and takes the possible beating like a man, or
He does it the cowardly way, gets his things out while she is at work, and then texts her.

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