Is today is a beautiful day for you?

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Bo.$$

not really, today forgot lipstick

kathy w

ya.. one beautiful day indeed..

this one joke for ya^^

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".

Puan Sri kiki. lala

It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to
fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots
review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are
some
actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas pilots (marked with a P)
and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

amy

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.

In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."

The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles.

"Great," he replies, "Get your own damn blanket!"

silenth

Three guys were shipwrecked and after a few days of drifting, came upon a desert island. This island was a nice refuge from drifting in the ocean and it contained the basic necessities to sustain life. For two years, these three guys survived off of seafood and fresh fruit. They were lonely for their families, however, and talked much of the day they would be rescued.
One day, a bottle washed up on shore. When the cork was pulled out of the bottle, a genie appeared and offered each man one wish.
The first guy said, "I haven't seen my parents, brothers or sisters for two years and I wish that I was home with them." Poof! He disappeared from the island and was immediately transported thousands of miles to his family's home.
The second guy said, "I haven't seen my wife or baby daughter for two years. My wish is to be at home with them." Poof! He disappeared from the island and was immediately transported thousands of miles to where his wife and baby daughter were staying.
The third guy thought for a little bit and then said, "I don't really have any family to speak of. I wish that my two friends were back here with me." Poof!

Give u another one :

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. "There is a blind man to see you," she says. "Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I'm in the shower. Send him in."

The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: "That's nice and all, ma'am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds?

Bean

A grandpa walks into a grandson's apartment and sees a condom on the table. "What's this!?" demands the grandfather.

"It's a condom," replies the grandson sheepishly.

"What do you use it for?" asks Gramps.

The grandson is surprised that his grandpa really doesn't know what a condom is, and replies, "I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain."

To his surprise his grandpa says, "That's a great idea," and goes off to the drug store. He asks the pharmacist for a condom.

"What size would you like?" asks the pharmacist.

"Oh, big enough to fit a camel."

::BlackBerryLicious::

yep..its one splendid day for me!!..

here's my joke of the day! hope you'll like it!

Why I Fired My Secretary

I woke up early, feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought, "I'm another year older," but decided to make the best of it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say, "Happy birthday, dear." All smiles, I went in to breakfast, and there sat my wife, reading her newspaper, as usual. She didn't say one word. So I got myself a cup of coffee, made some toast and thought to myself, "Oh well, she forgot. The kids will be down in a few minutes, smiling and happy, and they will sing 'Happy Birthday' and have a nice gift for me."

There I sat, enjoying my coffee, and I waited. Finally, the kids came running into the kitchen, yelling, "Give me a slice of toast! I'm late! Where is my coat? I'm going to miss the bus!" Feeling more depressed than ever, I left for the office.

When I walked into the office, my secretary greeted me with a great big smile and a cheerful "Happy birthday, boss." She then asked if she could get me some coffee. Her remembering my birthday made me feel a whole lot better.

Later in the morning, my secretary knocked on my office door and said, "Since it's your birthday, why don't we have lunch together?" Thinking it would make me feel better, I said, "That's a good idea." So we locked up the office, and since it was my birthday, I said, "Why don't we drive out of town and have lunch in the country instead of going to the usual place?" So we drove out of town and went to a little out-of-the-way inn and had a couple of martinis and a nice lunch. We started driving back to town, when my secretary said, "Why don't we go to my place, and I will fix you another martini." It sounded like a good idea, since we didn't have much to do in the office. So we went to her apartment, and she fixed us some martinis. After a while, she said, "If you will excuse me, I think I will slip into something more comfortable," and she left the room.

In a few minutes, she opened her bedroom door and came out carrying a big birthday cake. Following her were my wife and all my kids.

And there I sat with nothing on but my socks.."

GINDURAS

amy winehouse said,

they try to make me go to reehaab....
but i wont go, go, go....

Purple Lemon

Customer: Waiter, do you serve pigs?
Waiter: Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

:D

Have a nice day.

Boon Q

Not bad but hope for a better to-morrow.
Ok, here is one specially for you: What has 75 balls and screws old ladies.?

THERikmeister

i have a good mole joke, but it doesn't have anything to do with it being a beautiful day. the weather was nice today though. i'm still gonna get 2 pts for answering ur question.

Adi Keladi

Until now, it is still a normal sleepy day for me. No joke la, that's why I'm sleepy.

Alex T

No, but it was a beautiful day in my pants.

now gimme 10 pts.

s7evens

not for me too..today is valentines day, but im still single....
lol.!!

miss5miles

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omFdpnSu57U

Have a beautiful evening then.

HRH Shim

Not a good day for me too. I'm having a fever. Sorry, no jokes for you from me although I know quite a few that can really crack me up. But now, nak ketawa pun sakit...uhuk uhuk...

Erikita Ã¢?Â¥

Nope im at work

Flower Horn

laziifrog

yeaaa, got one best giler , u will be sure laugh n laugh n laugh .....but can't tell you today.

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