My family in the philippines ask too much $8000 this year. How to say no to them?

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Johny

I can understand that it must be very hard for you as you also care alot about your family in the Philippines. But you have to look at it in 2 simple ways.

1.If your struggling in your current situation and you end up in a bad way then you won't be able to help them in any way.

2.I understand that when Filipino's have one of their kids working abroad and sending them money they automatically think in their minds that they are making lots of money when that simply isn't the case.

A simple solution is to really explain how difficult it is to make money and tell them exactly what its like there for you and how much everything costs. If you keep going on like this they'll end up asking for more and more until you and your family will be in a bad way. So tell them honestly how much you can afford to send.

Good luck

Binibini

easy. say NO and move on .send them what you can. you don't have to feed your whole clan, 365 days.

if they won't understand that,then it's time to cut them loose.

you're priority is your immediate family..meaning your wife/husband and kids.

cyrellmae

tell them nicely that u cant afford to send that too much money...ang hirap kaya mg work abroad dba?

Explain to them that you can only give them the amount that you can afford and tell them what this amount will be. If they argue or carry on tell them that that is your final offer and that if they are not happy with the amount then you won't bother sending anything.
They have to realise that you too have a life to live with your own debts and your own family to raise.
Unfortunately the majority of Filipino's believe that anyone working in the USA (or anywhere overseas) is automatically well-off.
They understand the concept that wages are a lot higher but cannot (or will not) undestand that along with high wages comes a higher cost of living.
I wish you luck.

bluecross0924

just tell them straight forward that you have worked hard to earn, you have bills to pay, etc. you can also tell them that they should also work to earn money for themselves and not to rely on you..

MAGpie

no need to explain to them why you can't give them what they're asking. Just say no, i can't afford it now or next month or next year. Period.

onemetalwatch

Tell them no means no that you have bills and obligations to pay for and that you are sorry that you do not have any money to spare for them. IF you have to, send them a list of all your bills and where your money is going. Electricity, water, phone, rent, utilities, insurance, automobiles, groceries, gas, entertainment, out ot eat etc.

wife2denizmoi

Try to explain to them that the economy here is not as good as it was in previous years. That the money you are earning does not buy as much. Tell them you will help as much as you can, but it will not be $8000.00. Tell them the amount you can afford and that you know they will be happy just knowing that you care deeply for them.

mae

Yes, i know it's hard to say no cause that your family, "but" you can do it. Maybe, in one of or another you spoiled them (unconsciously) and they become use to it.So everytime they money they asked without realizing that you have your family, it's not easy to find money though your working.Pampering is bad, your teaching them indirectly to become dependent and parasite. They don't care or doesn't at all about you or what was really going to you.
Tell them your real situation and how's life in foreign country, being and having a family. You have your priority-expenses that you need to give first to your own family before them. If ever you have an excess budget maybe thats the only thing you can give for them, to the least you can give and do.
Ethically, since you are a family man, instead of asking to you there needs it should be to your wife as a show of respect.Besides, if both relative asked for any help you as couple should consult and talk things first. To avoid discussion,conflict in your marriage.Learn to say no and refuse to give, somehow your teaching them to stretch their bone for earning.

Faith's_Fate

try to explain them your financial status right now.
you can somehow give or offer help but not that much just give them what you can afford.
Godbless

boo

There's always the first time. You have to learn to say "No" firmly yet nicely. Be assertive, just tell them "No", no reason given. Unless, of course, it's a matter of life and death (medical payments). Apart from that, NO. Another thing, if it's to pay-off some gamling debts, it's a NO as well.

I know it's hard for an Asian to say NO without giving a reason, it's time to learn. If you do not feel comfortable, you should voice it out. I am from the Far East myself, saying NO at the appropriate time makes you love yourself more and to live a more meaning full life. If not, you will end up asking yourself "why am I working so hard for nothing" and will find no motivation in life itself.

nuttynellie

this habit of my kababayans (fellowmen) is sometimes very degrading.

you may help out your family but with only the extra amount you can give you should not be OBLIGATED to give them $8,000 and for what? medicines? your niece's education? to build their house? for what?

dont feel guilty not giving the entire $8,000. If they make you feel guilty saying they reared you and put you through good education, tell your parents that it was THEIR RESPONSIBILITY AS A PARENT TO DO THAT. Just like its gonna be your responsibility to put your kids through college, etc.. Remember, you have your own family to tend to. Give them whatever you can, or maybe you can send goods to show you care. Tell them politely and nicely that you can not give the $8,000 a year because of mortgage, rent, college fund or whatever. If you owe them money, pay it according to your agreements.

Filipinos living here have to understand that our relatives working abroad works 4 to 5 times harder (and lonelier) and should not be obligated to give them what they think is due them.

Put your foot down and tell them. Otherwise, you'll have a hard time with your OWN FAMILY.

I hope that this helps.

user

just tell them that they should start saving cuz you still need to live. and ask them why they need so much... and tell them to not realie on you to much. some of your family members should start working too. even if its not a high paying job, at least their doing their part in the family.

joedie p

you cant say no to them,its your family ,if they need the money badly specially in emergency situations,but if its on other use you can say you don't have that kind of money

happy

you can tell them:
1. you are out of work;or
2.you are sick; or
3.start cutting down the amount you send; or
4. send them a copy of your bank statement, your pay checks ,and bills, let them do the math.

do yourself a favor, you are spoiling them. you're working your butt off and they're there waiting for their monthly "allowance".

Felix Arcanus

so let me get this straight. you're working in another country and your family in the philippines is making you send them money to support them? why can't they earn their own money? what, are they crippled or something? ....all of them?

waiting4myredemption

Say No but in your language.

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