Philippine Brides?

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Thanks for the Yahoo Jacket

My neighbor brought one over and after she obtained citazenship she divorced him. He just brought another one over so only time will tell on this one.

Coach

fuzzy

*I was in your position years ago and it was the biggest mistake of my life I had her checked and found nothing so I married her . after years together she left and filled for divorce with no grounds . during the court case she was asked for her first divorce papers oe annulment papers I then found out she was still married to her first husband and just married me to take everything i have even though I proved this and documented her bigamy the courts still took her side and I have no recourse .

Alias G

I am 100% Pinay and I am actually appalled and dismayed by some of the replies this particular question were able to gather -- and I bet will still continue to gather.

It seems like women from our country are taking a lot of beatings from this section. I don't deny the fact of the existence of mail-order brides, but it does not happen only in our country. It is also an occurrence elsewhere.

To go back to the initial topic, all I can say is that we are a country surrounded with expats from other nations, not just from US alone. They generally have found the country a safe place to stay or else nobody would even thought of coming here much less step foot on the dry land (I apologize if I do sound sarcastic on this one but I didn't mean to).

As for meeting your woman, you also need to realize that you're not the only one taking the risk here. You may have thought that she was a fraud which prompted you to investigate her, but haven't it occurred to you as well that she probably thought you're a fraud as well?

My suggestion to you is get to know her a little more, see how she relates with other people, not only with her family. And no matter how keen you are in marrying her as soon as possible, do not.

You can go back three or four times a year. If after those visits, you have found yourself really in love with her and not just the person whom you are talking to, then proceed with your initial plan.

Carl_the_Truth

If you marry a Filipina, you marry the whole family. Be prepared to bring over mom, dad, and the rest of the family in a few years. I know, it happened to me. Never again ! Also be prepared to start sending money over there.

ragdefender

Hi I'm Filipino and I would have to agree with many of the other posters regarding divorce. Are you sure she's not just using you? Why are you talking about marriage when you haven't even met her? She might be a decent person but divorcing you isn't exactly something that would enter her criminal record that a private investigator would be able to anticipate. Make sure she's well doing well enough financially. This is rather unromantic but I think prudence is necessary.

Regarding the muslims, I'd say they are generally great people. All the muslims I have known show this (and I'm Catholic.) Its just that there is the MILF (no not moms I'd like to F----, that's moro islamic liberation front) and the abu sayaff.

Potential cultural differences: People seem to have the wrong notion that Filipinas are submissive wives. They are not. In many households, its the wife that's the boss. The guy just works, but its the wife who decides many issues. Dude, don't forget your going to a country which has had 2 woman presidents. And remember strongman Ferdinand Marcos? Many also blamed the extravagance of his wife Imelda Marcos. He probably couldn't say no to her.

I hope this answer didn't scare you too much. Try this, in your first date when you come here tell her you lost your wallet at the airport. Then see what her reaction will be.

zachtar83

Don't worry about the Phillipines. You'll be fine. But I'd be worried about this relationship. You're already talking aobut marriage. Did you know that over 65% these kinds of marriage end in divorce. I'm not saying that yours will, but just think about this a bit. If you just want companionship, or sex, fine, but the long term prospects are very, very poor

Ryan's mom

My uncle married a woman from the Philippines and after they had been married for 2 years she got her citizenship and she divorced him and got half of everything and during the marriage she would take money to send to her family. If you plan on doing this get a Pre-nup to protect your assets.

tkd28282003

I had a coworker who married a girl from the Philippines, she divorced him and brought most of her family to Canada. She ruined his life, but whatever floats your boat, just be careful.

chichuck

Hi,Stephen
Well meeting and dating a pinoy woman is the same here as it is in the states( if your from the states).The cultures are very similar.Ive been here about a year and have found the families are a little tighter.As for safety,all it takes is common sense,and ofcourse what part of the islands will you be staying.Im on the island of Mindanao and here in the northern part its like being in the states,with a lot of asians( lol) .The one thing you should know and it seems a lot of visitors dont, you are allowed to stay for 21 days only,and then you need an extension of your visa,its a simple process,and that allws you to stay another 2 months.Hey, if you have any other questions and if I know the answers,well you know stay in touch....... Charles

mahdiman

I have had a long distance relationship with a filipina for 3 years. She never, never asks me for money. She works for her money. Although, through conversation, I have discovered that she does need things and I have offered to send small amounts to help. For instance, she is working in Abu Dhabi and has never experianced temps. below 60. So she's cold, I sent her a jacket and shoes. stuff like that. Filipinas are just like everyone else. Some winners some losers. Just think how high the divorce rate is in this country. (u.s.)

If she is young, her parents maybe very happy that you are interested in their daughter. They might see your interest are a step up for her and a new oppertunity for her to be happy and successful, but the same is true as before. They maybe be as skeptical as some respondents. People are the same all over the world.

As for muslims, I would worry more about highway bandits, pick pockets or Genral Santos' revenge. It is not very uncommon for some poverty striken young men to hop on a jeep and rob everyone, especially if they see a forgeiner. My filipina friend was mugged. They took everything off her. jewelry, money, cell phone. That was in the tay tay, rizal area.

Just stay in good areas and don't flash money. And marry whoever the hell you want.

White chicks seem to get pretty angry about filipinas marrying ameircans. Maybe that sounds ignorant I am sure, but thats my experiance. I don't know. I just pretend their jealous. whatever.

People who give out negative advice on relationships really bug me. People who have been divorced always seem to hate marrige. But why should anyone listen to them. If you want to be good at something, why ask somebody who is not any good at it?

Live your own life and have fun. Filipinas are fun, the philippines is great. Good luck

jojo234

It always amazes me when people answer this kind of question. So many people have so much to say about the issue but very few actualy know what they are talking about. 98% of the people that will answer have no personal knowledge of the Philippines and or American/filipina marriages.
Most are just ignorant misinformed people baseing their opinions on a few media news stories they have seen on T.V. or over heard from the local gossip network.
I have been married to a filipina for 6 years now and we are very happy together. I have never had any problems of any kind while traveling in the philippines even though the U.S. News media makes out like you will be kidnapped and robbed or killed just as soon as your plane lands and your feet touch the ground.
Just like any other place on earth you have to use some common sense when traveling in the Philippines.
If you go to the philippines looking to pick up a wife like you would buy a pair of shoes at Walmarts then sure you will most likely get burned (If your looking for a prostitute then a prostitute is what you will find) If you have met a nice lady and you want to visit her then that is good but take the time to get to know her, take the time to court her. Dont just jump into marriage the 2nd week you are there. Visit her, come back home and see how things progress, If the two of you are in love then its worth the wait.
If you jump into marriage right away you may discover a couple of months down the road that you werent really in love and you actualy cant stand each other.
Most problems happen when she comes here to America and discovers that you arent the man she thought you were or vice versa. There is also a big culture differance and there will be some episodes of anger due to simple misunderstandings, how this turns out will depend on what kind of man you are and how you handle the situation. Dont just fly off the handle, try to be understanding and resolve the problem compasionatly and quitly.
Of course there will come a time when she will want to send money home to her family, this is part of her culture and you must understand that, she is very family oriented and will naturaly want to share her good fortune with her family. Dont go all to hell when ever she wants to help out the family, be understanding and accept that it is the way she was raised.
As for her wanting to bring the whole family over, maybe yes, maybe no. contrary to what a lot of people think, not all filipino people want to come to America. In fact very few want to come here. The wives come here because of the husbands and their are lots of workers that come here alone but it isnt because this is America, its because they have opted to work abroad to help support the family, it doesnt matter to them which country they work in, they just want to work.
There is a lot more I could say and a lot more that should be said but I'll stop here, Just remember that most of the negative answers you will get here are coming from people who dont have a clue about the subject

john f

Get to know her first before even thinking of marrying her.
I am writing to and phoning a girl from Cagayan De Oro have been for nearly a month.
I plan to meet her there in April then if all goes well have a vacation with her in Hong Kong in July before asking to get engaged.
She is Roman Catholic though not muslim so maybe you will do things differently.

Jerry O

Stephen;
Some of the advice youve been given is false and are from people that have no idea what they are talking about.I am the owner of a Yahoo Philippine related Group we call" PLIP "Philippine Living Island Paradise you can do a search in groups to find the group if you desire. I am married to a filipina and have a wonderful relationship with my wife weve been married nearly 4 years and have a 2 year old daughter. Truth about these relationships are that around 80% of the Fil/Am couples are still married after 5 years!MAtch that to the 50/50% of the Am/AM marriages and you can see the difference. The Philippines are safe to visit just use common sense when visiting. Get on the group for LOTS more Information!
you can also email me if desire

mr_clean_9@yahoo.com

jung_yoon_ho

is she a muslim? there's nothing wrong with the muslims here in the philippines. the media just make muslim look dangerous but they are not. if she's a muslim.. then.. she's not allowed to eat pork... and she has to fast during ramadan... and she's not allowed to expose much of her body in public unlike non-muslims who can wear bikinis in beaches...

Married to a filipina

JoJo is correct.

I met my future wife in Jakarta several years ago while I was on vacation. I was visiting a friend from California, who happened to be living there with her husband. They introduced me to one of their close friends and we developed a relationship. Neither of us had ever been married nor did we have any children. Over the next several years we would meet in different counties, about 3-4 times a year. When it became clear that the relationship was getting serious she returned to Manila so that we could get married and she could process her visa. We now live in California and have been married for 4 years. We have a great relationship and are happy. We have had some hurtles to overcome and unfortunately most of the Fil/Am (especially "mail order") relationships that I am aware of haven't ended as well.

Your wife will experience culture shock moving to the US. My wife had been working internationally for most of her adult life when we met (she was 27) and was used to settling into a new environment. She still suffered from loneliness and depression. It was draining on me because I couldn't entirely relate to the situation she was in, though it was very important that I tried. As she has got in touch with old friends that live near us and developed new friends, it has been easier on her. It will be important for your wife to develop her own life here, independent of you. You have asked someone to give up everything they have grown up with in order to join you in the US. This is a very significant hardship that most Americans can not fully appreciate because we deeply believe that their isn't a better place to live on the Earth than the USA.

As far as traveling in the Philippines...as long as you are careful and adventurous, you should have a great time. I have been to several parts of the country and have loved it. We are planning to backpack across the Visayas (OK...carry our stuff from hotel to hotel) in the next couple of years. You do need to be a lot more cautious than in the US with both your personal items and the food you eat. Anyone who says the PI is safer than here must be comparing it to East LA. Personal safety is one of the things my wife appreciates most about living here. If you are Caucasian, you will obviously stick out as I do. I know my way around Manila pretty well and when I start giving the taxi drivers directions they lay off the extra faire routine. If you are less familiar, stick to the major brand taxis and insist that they run the meter. Also don't stick your luggage in the trunk or somewhere you can't easily grab it, they will hold it for ransom until you agree on their price. If you do get a taxi driver that treats you fairly, be sure to tip him appropriately.

You will need to send money to her family...just accept it! My wife's family has maids, drivers and lives in a gated/guarded community and she still wants to send something home. The amount can be minimal, it's just the thought. If your prospective wife starts to push you to send larger amounts, this is usually a bad sign. If she is entirely dependent on your money to do anything, I would also suggest that this is a bad sign for the relationship. She might be trying to marry the bank!

Other things to watch:

Do you both have similar education levels?

Has she lived anywhere else?

How does she interact with her friends?

Does she have a large circle of close friends?

Has she been involved with community activities?

Why are you marrying someone you barely know?

Are you choosing an Asian wife because you think she'll be submissive? If so, you'll probably be sadly mistaken! Especially Pinays! They can be real firecrackers! Cute, hot and they can burn you.

Many American men choose foreign wives because they haven't had much luck finding the "right one" at home and think that a foreign wife will be more understanding. The problem usually isn't the women. The same problems will eventually find their way into these relationships also.

Many foreign women want to marry American men because they think they will move to the US and be rich. They are usually sadly disappointed when they get here and find that everyone is struggling to stay afloat. It's easy for American guys to have the appearance of great wealth in the Philippines because the dollar goes very far but when we return home most of us still work for a living and are close to broke at the end of the month.

In closing, I would highly recommend that you slow down and take your time. If you both love each other, you will make it through a couple of years of sporadic rendezvous. If any of the above problems are going to arise then they will show their ugly heads before you have made any serious commitments. Keep in mind that the financial support affidavits that you will sign so that she can come here, will make it much more difficult to separate than a normal divorce.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

Streetwise Philippines

Hello!

Are you sure you know what you are doing?

If you can't answer these 5 questions - you are already in deep trouble!

1. What is an easy kano?
2. Who was Steven Davis?
3. What is Zamboanga?
4. What is a GRO?
5. Who runs the "living in Cebu index"?

Honestly it sounds to me like you are heading for trouble - being scammed big time!

Post the answers to those 5 questions - by finding them on the web - then post them here. Then I will help out. Take it or leave it!

James

I would listen to Carl and ragdefender over there. First off, Filipina women are not submissive, nor have I met any other Asian women (Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese) that would fit that stereotype. I donâ€™t know where that stereotype came from. Theyâ€™ll be controlling, nagging, and ordering you around. Also, Filipinos along with probably other Asian groups have this respect for the elder type thing. Once sheâ€™s fully settled, sheâ€™ll try to bring her poor parents here to the US. If youâ€™re a westerner, who moved out of his parentsâ€™ home since he was a teenager going to college or the military, this could be a big handful for you.
Also, I donâ€™t believe the stories of some people here who says their â€œfriendâ€ divorced their â€œFilipina wifeâ€. Majority of Filipinos is conservative Catholics. You might be stuck with her for awhile if youâ€™re unhappy since conservative Catholic countries donâ€™t have divorces or have very low divorce rates like the Philippines, Italy, Ireland, Poland, Mexico, etc. Think about that. I believe there are no divorces in the Philippines or divorces is not legally allowed in the Philippines.
If you like Filipina women and if youâ€™re an American living in the US, why donâ€™t you go to California, Washington state, or Hawaii? They have a lot of beautiful Filipina-American women living there. Her family more likely immigrated here legally in the US on their own. Filipino Sailors (called Manilamen) help built and founded towns and cities in California during Spanish colonial times. Later Filipino immigrants along with Portuguese Immigrants, Japanese Immigrants, and Puerto Rican Immigrants help built Hawaii to what it is now. If you meet a Filipina-American woman in California or Hawaii, sheâ€™s with you because she likes you not because she wants a green card since she's already an American citizen.
Personally, I would like to stop mail order brides and other sham marriages immigrating to the US. I really loathe these Filipina Mail order brides. They already give a bad reputation and stereotypes to many good Filipina-American women who worked hard and studied hard at school to be able to immigrate here on their own or whose families immigrated here on their own.

Well

You are severely misinformed. The "moslem" situation in the Philippines is overblown. You, as a westerner, are more likely to be the victim of another terrorist attack (or any violent assault for that matter) while in the USA or Europe than in the Philippines. Crime statistics back this assertion up.

I understand that the US State Department issues these "advisories" that may sound frightful to some. But be aware that they do so in order to keep too many Americans from visiting countries where they have little power to protect you if you stupidly get yourself in trouble. These advisories are not based on realized threats to Americans.

My suggestion to you is thus: stop listening to whoever your friends are who are giving you this false impression that it is much more dangerous to be in any country other than the USA. They are either ignorant or xenophobic--or both.

Think about it, you are willing to marry a woman of a different race, culture and religion (and who knows what else?) that YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN MET IN PERSON BEFORE.....and you're telling me you're deadly afraid to be kidnapped by a bunch of extremists who have never even, or expressed interest in, kidnapping a tourist before. Please reconsider your current risk assessment matrix dude.

bongcs

Please, please, please, please, please! Enough of being so afraid of the Muslims!!! When will all of you ever put an end to stereotyping Muslims as people everybody must be afraid of? There are Christians, like us, who are murderers and thieves, too! And there are Christians, like us, who are peace-loving and people-caring, too. There are good and bad persons amongst us, Christians. The same thing with our Muslim brothers!

Stay close to areas where there are law enforcers. Do not travel without a trustworthy companion. Always be wary of suspicious-looking characters. Surround yourself with true and loving Filipino friends. Always bring a mobile phone with you. Alert your country embassy that you are in the Philippines. Strive to be very careful always. Good Luck!

big_j_gizzy

JoJo's answer I think is dead on. Give him the points.

Philippine Traveler

Philippine ladies are like ladies here, only better. Treat her with respect and lots of attention, and it should go well. As far as safety, you are probably safer in the Philippines than in America. How many times do you hear on the local news about a drive by shooting? How many times is a person robbed, and then shot for no reason? The criminals in America have guns, and are not afraid to use them. Since you will have a guide in the Philippines, she will not take you to any bad parts of town. If you are out alone, in a night club area, and flash lots cash, you may get robbed. You should not get shot.

I was in Mindanao, Illigan City, with my Philippine, wife to be. It did feel strange to hear the Muslim call to pray from the temples. I wondered if I was in the wrong place. But, her brother is an engineer. He lived in the rich part of town. We were staying at his house, so no problem.

If she is a Muslim, and you are a Christian, there would be conflict.

I have been married for three years, so far so good. Several of my friends have Philippine wives and have been married a long time. I would say that your chances are better with a Philippine wife. Statistics show that marriage to a Philippine girl is more successful than to an American girl.

Also you can get a much more beautiful girl in the Philippines, than you can get in America. Unless you look like a movie star or are rich, you will do much much better in the Philippines.

Note if you marry her there will be some changes.
You will eat rice six times a week.
Your phone bill will increase a lot!
You will now be the rich relative that everyone will ask for money. She probably has lots of relatives. I recommend using Money Gram to send the money.

If you use some control, it is nice to be the rich relative. You can help them a lot with little expense on your end. Remember it is more blessed to give then to lend and it costs about the same. Do not make any loans!! If you send money, send it only as a gift.

Check the American Embassy in Manila web site for details on how to get her to America. Note - you will need pictures of you and her together to prove that you met. Be sure to get photos in front of identifiable places. Have a sign in the picture, so there is no question.

Dave Star

I think most of these are misinformation. The wife won't divorce the husband and vice versa if they can't find anything wrong in their relationship. Even 2 people with same culture will divorce if their relationship is not going well. Look at the celebreties, some of their "married" relationships last for 2 days.

Don't talk about marriage first. Any relationship especially in the Philippines starts with a "getting to know each other" phase, we call it "Courtship". In this age of multi - culturalism, I don't see any problem marrying someone out of the ordinary. The key point is that both of you, must respect the cultural differences in order for your marriage to last.

Good luck!

L3fthanded

um.....i uh......um...well.....uhhh..... Gotta go!

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