Premarital Sex: What’s wrong with it (without considering religious justification)?

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Optimus Nate Primal™

1. Studies show that couples who have sex prior to marriage are more likely to break up than those who do not.
2. Research also indicates that couples who have premarital sex are less happy in marriage and are more prone to divorce.
3. Premarital sex also increases the likelihood of extramarital sex during a marriage.
4. Premarital sex increases the risk of cervical cancer among young women who engage in sex with multiple partners.
5. Premarital sex masks areas of concern until after marriage
6. Pregnancy
7. Loss of self-esteem and self-worth
8. The break down of good habits
9. Losing respect for yourself and others
10.feeling cheated
11.feeling unclean
12.having a reputation for being too loose and easy
13.familiarity can breed contempt
14.personal hygiene is harder to maintain
15.emptiness
16.having no self-control

How to Keep From Going Too Far
1. Develop positive feeling of self-worth.
2. Continue with an education after high school.
3. Set up rules for conduct in advance of your dates.
4. Choose your dates with care.
5. Plan your dates carefully in advance, avoiding situations designed to stimulate sexual pleasure.
6. Know the facts about sex.
7. Learn to control your sexual desires.
8. Learn how to form an intimate relationship without sex.
9. Ask God for guidance

Adi Keladi

I give TU to the leader of the Autobots and Cik Bulu Ketiak Liar. They've covered almost everything. The only thing I can say is, other that what are already said above:

1. While humans may be said as mammals, we are different than animals that we have intelligence and know between right or wrong. Animals, while some have some IQ, are mainly driven by their basic instinct.
2. Premarital marriage mostly only favour men as it free them from obligation and commitment. As the Armpit Hair said, there is no such thing as safe sex and we can see many girls are abandoned by their boyfriends after they accidentally got pregnant. Pls note that many of these bfs were initially loyal to their girlfriends....until they see trouble.
3. Marriage itself is a symbol of commitment and love, thus event atheists got married thru civil marriages and homosexuals are fighting to be allowed to be married.

Datuk K, since the AllSpark has been destroyed, the Transformers need to multiply in a more traditional way...heheh...

hushpuppy

yes you are right, being engaged in marriage sex does not mean you are definitely safe from STD, but from an idealistic point of view, you would assume your husband/wife to only sex you and not others - and it is true that chances of contracting std is much much higher when you have multiple partners. so here goes the logic i suppose.

i dont think it is morally wrong (although im christian) or grossly wrong. we are only humans, and being adults sexual pleasure is almost like basic needs. so i think it is completely fine as long as you know what you are doing and ready for any consequence. i have guy friends who are virgins and "desperate" so i said if dating miss palmer doesnt help anymore, well go to hookers (lol i can tell you ten more reasons why i think hookers are better than any random girl you pick up at bar) in this sense, i think i am pretty open minded. i may have very different view when it comes to myself though.

i used to think premarriage sex is a nonononono. but at some point in life it changed (and i am still puzzled when or how). that said i would be very careful when it comes to anything sexual.
main reason being i am a very emotional person. you wanna sex me you have to make me feel comfortable emotionally. and when you do, this thing called 'emotional attachment" pops in, and i super hate it i tell you. and my life will be ruined, because 9.9 out of ten men just want this and nothing else. so heh, i dont buy their sweet talks.

lol believe it or not the only man i really felt right to sleep with actually did not want me that way? which is why im so in love with him. lol

ok, too much info lol

Kast

It is hard to understand your question. If you are talking about the risk of STDs being the same between married couples and non married then technically it is the same--though when your getting married a blood test is normally performed to prove the absence of STDs, you just have to take the other persons word for it without one.

Though many people say premarital sex cheapens it for when you find the one person who you want to spend your whole life with--the roller coaster is most fun the first time around.

aynツ

Ok..my turn!!

Personally, I’m with cactuar, as long as there’s a trust and consent between 2 rational, single adults who are emotionally attached; I’m ok with pre-marital sex. Sex, like few of y’all said, is just for preganancy/breeding purpose, like we malays always said: utk mengekalkan keturunan. However, it must be reminded that for whatever that matters, kaum perempuanlah yg akan rugi, while men have nothing to lose, secalit pun takde kesan…

Though I’m not sure to what extend you're using our opinions (ie: making a decision, or making an assignmnt or justification for ur action) but i just hope that u dont swallow everything that we said.

The fact is: Without having religious justification, what kind of frame of reference that we are left with? Cultural or Religion? Asking the rationales to have sex before marriage (without considering the frame of reference – the religion, that is) is similarly like asking is it ok for us to dump our parents once they become a burden. Put aside religious values – everything is easy!! Sure, u can have pre-marital sex and u can dump ur parents and u can love ur own gender and u can have it all by your way, by all means – no strings attached. But can us (like me, as a muslimah, indulge in a premarital sex, when you know really well that the religion forbids it? We know well that we can’t.
What we do, what we think, is an underlying grasp from a religion that we have…apparently, it is all we have to fill our answers. My point is.. Its hard to ignore religion when its been with you ur whole life..

By the way.. while I cannot relate to most of nate’s 16 validation, I agree with no 12: reputation.

©act⊍⊍a®

We all have our standards.

While I'm ok with premarital sex, I'm not ok with casual sex and one nighters. For me, I have to be emotionally connected (and vice versa) with my partner, which means to say, I have to be in a committed monogamous relationship before the sex part comes.

It is just unfortunate that some relationships don't work out and we meet and fall in love with others and start new relationships, thus sleeping with a new guy.

I don't know about others, but I think I'd always wonder how it's like with another man if I've only ever had sexual intercourse with one person, my husband. I'd have no basis to compare.. to know if I'm merely having sex or having great sex!

JUSTME

I never had Premarital sex and now i wish i did because i didn't know anything about sex after we were married,and because of that i didn't know how to please my wife and keep her happy. So she found it else wear and it ended because of it. Now i am older and all i think about is damn i wish i knew then what i know now.

Muleman

When we are young our hormones drive us, as we get older, having sex before marriage usually becomes safe! The individuals are more secure in themselves. Want to be honest as life and its pains lead us to want more meaningful and honest relationships, and we would not put ourselves at risk! As an older man my needs are just the same as they were when I was younger! The drive is still there, BUT I am more responsible for my life as it gets shorter! If youth can acquire the right kind of confidence and honesty, then sex before marriage can be a sweet and strengthening thing for the relationship. However normally the guy gets what he wants and legs it! Resolve your insecurities and keep your legs closed girls! The woman/Girl should be making the rules. Not just the heat of passion, but hey, I was a very bad boy once! So I still carry a lot of guilt for my past ! Hi, I am in Spain!

Easy

without commitment it's just sex.

happywjc

Other than "religious justification", and disease!
There would be nothing wrong with it, as long as those 2 things are not important to you.
Oh yes, there is another issue that comes into play, "your/our reputation, that's something that literally follows us to the grave!
My rep has followed me my entire life, some think it gives bragging rites,(which I never did), and others say "you should be ashamed and I have lil/no remorse! I was just enjoying life as a young man.
good life to ya! And that was a while ago! LOL

Puan Sri kiki. lala

terbaek la optimus nate primal.wewitt~

m waiting fer adi kunyit's plak..

yeah~

Mega ☮ Peace

nothing, dear. Nothing wrong.
As long as you're loyal to one.
He's loyal to you.
You trust each other, and be honest if either of you have a disease.
Nothing is wrong.
Its just how to deal with public judgement (usually aunties and narrow minded people) if things ever get out. And please... use protection if you don't want any kids. (usually couples who don't want kids don't give marriage too much consideration)

Wild Bean

The problem, my dear, is what if you get pregnant ... tak kan you want to go for your wedding or akad nikah with something sticking out ... lol

Maybe someone will quote ... Safe sex ... but there is nothing as safe sex as when one is intimate with another, there is no telling when or where it can happen ...

And if I am not prepare to have a child and yet I am intimate with my b/f, I think this is too risky ... maybe it is ok with certain people but I don't want my child to grow up under the stigma of 'accident child' ...

It is even worse if you have many partners before marriage ... guys might brag about their sexual conquers but for a woman, in my place, she is like 'turun harga' ... or devalue ... and lagi susah if she wants to be someone daughter-in-law ...

DATUK Ketam

...i am wif Nate....TU for u man...or robot!!!....

PS...robot kahwin ker???

GarisHalus

I'm the one who's "practicing" sex before marriage ... yeah ... i'm feeling the negative impact now ... i can't decide whether it's the right choice to marry my partner ... or it just the feeling of sympathy or attached after series of sexual intercourse ... sometimes i feel insecure too ... i'm afraid one day i will get caught by religious affair unit (whatever u call em) ... the next thing is ... i also have to wait whether my partner will get period or not ... if not then have to becareful ...another thing is ... i have no feeling ... i mean the sensation is no longer there ... i'm getting boring with my partner and now started looking for new sex partner ... i'll grab the opportunity if i got the chance ... well pity her ... but still i'm going to marry her ... and trust me ... after more than 7 years of relationship ... the earlier years of no sex ... is more romantic than now ... sometimes i have to imagine supermodel before i can make love with my partner ...

*aku sudah boring ...

sugar cane

nothing is wrong as long as ur not cheating anyone, or sleeping with someones partner or spouse,, and use protection wisely.
basically human beings are mammals. And sex is a basic need for a human. well, as long as you dont hurt anyone.

★ Cik Yaya ★

It's an irresponsible act.
If the girl is still not pregnant, the guys will always say "phew..i can get away for this time"

Elvendra

I don't believe in the concept of marriage so it really is no issue for me.

veritas

Premarital sex is fine and healthy in moderate doses. In terms of health, sex is crucial to the our well being throughout our 20s ad 30s. Haven't you noticed how those pimples disappear after a good workout? :-P

What's really wrong is extra-marital sex. All our sexual morality was borne out of the instinctual need to have a steady partner, a stable family home in order to protect the offspring and to give them a chance to grow into competent adults.

yuanyuan

I only had a few boyfriends and I never had sex with any of them. Not being hypocrite because I had one boyfriend who I believe I would have lost my cherries to, if he so planned it. We did not go all the way and to be honest now, it's not because I was adamant on keeping my so called "purity", lol! He probably knew he'll have to marry me if ever I raise hell because I have somehow the right connections, haha.

To be honest, I still frown on a woman having had premarital sex with all her previous bf's - even if the reason for each and every encounter was love, pure love.:] What if I had 10 bf's and I had lovely, pure sex w/ all of them? I am not sure I'll be too proud to admit it to my husband, would you? And what if I had a bf who I had mind-boggling, out-of-this world wonderful sex with but we just can't click emotionally and still break up? How would that affect my sex life with my husband whose sex prowess pales in comparison? So many ifs, hehe.

In summary, I believe I still prefer my present state where i had only my husband for my sexual experience. Contrary to Cactuar this time, I'll just use my imagination for those encounters that I had missed. lol!

Square Pants

yups, Optimal Nate Primal!!! TU for you..

PEACE =D

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