Serious question...I need your honest opinion please?

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ThinkTank

I would say you may need more sleep.Thinking much about the baby won't allow you to make a good decision. Don't get so excited. It's not the financial but a responsibility of a lifetime.

Inday

The fact that you are vacillating with your decision means you are not totally ready to be an instant mom. It's hard enough for a married couple to adopt a baby, what more for a single lady like you. It's not that I doubt your maturity (I honestly believe you got that part covered) but...

I suggest you talk with your mom (or your pastor) about this matter. Is there a significant other who could also put in his 10 cents worth?

Pray for guidance, sweetie. You can't go wrong if you take that route.

Lilli Ann M

There's more to raising a child than the financial aspect. You may be able to provide for the baby's clothes, formula, crib, etc. but are you emotionally ready to take on the 24/7 rigors of motherhood? At this point, it may all sound challenging and exciting to you but what if the novelty wears off? Please think more about it ...and think about it some more.

If you are 100% convinced this baby is for you, then bless your good heart. Please make sure you consult a lawyer on the matter of adoption. Good luck. Please keep us posted. Some of us do care.

OUT OF HAND

if this is something you want then do it...God will lead you the rest of the way.

Juan C

wowowow!!! hold your horses,,, think think think... okay, so you are adopting this child, right? and you said you are financially prepared, but how about emotionally? would you like to raise this child without a father? would you raise this child not letting her know that you're not the real parent that gave birth to her? are really prepared for parenting? do you know the legalization ways and all those kinds of things?

Think...

pero_102

if you are ready to return the child after it had grown up to her biological parents, then go ahead, do what makes you happy. Even with all the legalities, i know the biological parents still have the priority. But if you acquire the child and they won't be able to locate you anymore, then, that's the best option.
be prepared for future blackmails and extortions.

kahlan nynaeveÂ®

Wow.

It takes more than financial security to raise a child. One has to be emotionally stable too and ready to take on the responsibilities of taking care of her.

It is said that when a woman becomes a mother, her priorities change. Instead of looking after her needs and wants, her baby's needs take precedence. Ultimately, she will give up some luxuries like branded perfume and clothes and stuff so she can look after her baby.

Raising a child is also no easy feat as it's a commitment. Just delve deeper into yourself to find out if you're ready for this responsibility. If you are, then go for it.

Good luck and God bless you and the baby. :)

Edit:
By the way, if you will really adopt the baby, please make it legal. Discuss your terms with the baby's biological family. Are you fine with them still seeing the baby after you have adopted her? Put clauses too that will ensure that they will not take back the baby when they changed their mind in the future as I have a neighbor who adopted a child but when the child was in her 20's and working already, her parents took her back and our neighbor (who is a family friend) had no choice as their adoption wasn't formal and legal.

_smile_'s Kometa of Biga-a

Are you thinking of adoption? Adopting a child will take your time and all the process of it from papers works and all that. If you are.. I advise you to take care of the paper works as soon as the child is born.

For now because of their current situation being not able to have it financially they will certainly like the idea of having the child adopted by somebody. Have you talked with them if you are going to help with the pregnancy? If you will be helping them consult a lawyer of what is to do. Because sometimes when the mother sees the child and hold it the situation becomes different and you might end up disappointed after all the excitement.

But if the situation is smooth, no humps and bumps along the way. Go ahead sister, you will be giving the child a good future and knowing you here in YAP the kid will grow like you... bubbly.

Just make sure the paper works are done.

Jongbong (ì¢…ë´‰)

zzz... this is by far the most difficult Q i've ever answered. can i just compliment you? congratulations and good luck!!! hmmm... beer... zzz...

anna m

I think it's great you're adopting. I'm considering it myself but not in the near future..hehehe

Adopting, especially if you know the party who is putting up the baby for adoption is a bigger deal. There is always that thought that what if they decide to take the baby back, will you let them?

Since the financial aspect of raising isn't really the issue, how about the rearing part, like will the baby grow up with just a mother?

I have a friend who is adopted, and when he found out about it, he wanted to look for his parents, & it was a difficult time for his adoptive parents. You should be prepared for those things.

And both parties should be clear with the set up. Agreements should be put in black & white. It might come handy in the future.

Hope everything goes well :)

xer0blast

i agree with Anne C. its really difficult adopting a child than parenting.

the financial needs is no problem when it comes to parenting, i dunno if im saying right but having a child to support is no problem for me. the real problem is 'do you have time for that kid when you have work?'. coz if you do then there is no problem but if not then i dunno maybe think about it twice, thrice ... 100x...

there are two end result about adopting and this is what i usually see in movies.
1->the biological mother wants it back.
2->the child wants her mother back

i think, if you really want the child then accept the responsibilities attach to it. having doubts is really an issue so think about it.
to prevent those two incidents i mention, you have to make sure that even if she is not yet ready to understand the situation, you have to tell her the truth as soon as she can understand what the words are meant like 'she is adopted.'.
i know its hard to say it but if you want a really good relationship with the child then telling truths is a good idea.

bennyboy

well it would be good to find out if you have the time.

like if you are at work 8 hours of the day obviously you can't do it.

annabelle p

The questions are: how willing and ready are you to take care of this child? Will there be a formal adoption in case something happens in the future like the mother of the child wanting her child back after you have grown to love the child (never mind the expenses of raising her) as much as your own, will you have the time considering your line of work?

I know you will make a good mother however, think very carefully. It's not only your life and future that is at stake but that of an innocent baby as well.

rhythm

It all begins with a question. "Am I ready to be a parent?"

Adoption is the permanent addition of a baby or older child to your family. This means you are that child's legal, forever parent, as if you gave birth to the child. You become responsible emotionally, physically, financially and legally for this child.

Are you ready for this responsibility?

* Do you have the emotional capability to handle a child that may have in some cases, emotional issues?
* Are you ready for the "long haul", meaning that you are this child's care taker until the age of 18 or beyond. Yes, this means through the teen years too!
* Are you ready to help the child cope with his grief and loss issues over birth family? This is also relevant with infant adoption, the loss issues may hit later as the child starts to question.
* If you already have children in your home, are they ready for an addition to the family?
source: http://adoption.about.com/cs/wantingtoadopt/a/The_Journey.htm

You have a big heart JH. But the timing and circumstances are just not right. Why put the load of others on your own shoulders? One day you will marry and have a child of your own. Now is yet your season to blossom and bloom. Be free!

A.W.

You are going to be swindled out of your money.

Anne C

honestly, i found your Q as difficult to answer as a complicated algebraic equation. All I can say is, adoption is even more complicated than parenting itself. A biological parent will do sacrifices for his child who is his own blood and flesh, and you will be doing the same sacrifices for someone who's not even related to you. And the sacrifices that I am talking about are far more complexed than a real parent would face (when you will have your husband, and your own children - their future opinion will matter too you know,..someday).

And when the time comes when you have entirely fallen in love with the child, the fact that you dont 'own' her, will always be there. Even the 'papers' are properly accomplished. I once heard of a similar case, where the biological parents were able to petition for the custody of the child, and the court favored them over the adoptive parents.

Well i guess, everything in life is a gamble, and if you think you are ready for parenting, and for the risks of adoption, and if having the baby would make you happy, then go for it gurl! Good luck mama :D

pravit r

pravit65@yahoo.com

Jacinto Luis

Congratulations. If she needs a father figure, do not hesitate to contact me.

You sound like you just found out you are pregnant. That's the kind of stuff that goes through your mind from my experience with five kids. I am speaking for me and my ex. Every time we had to worry worry about feeding another mouth. We did some how.
This will take a lot of commitment on your part like your entire life. Take it seriously and think it over seriously.
No dreams of what will be but plans to make it happen.
I hate to use the word Lawyer. Yuk! But.
All parents go through this phase but it too will pass just enjoy it all you can however it turns out.

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