Should i break up with him?

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girlie

The kids are not like tampons you can discard. They are real, breathing human beings. They are his kids. They have been with him, and have been a part of him even before he met you. Do not kid yourself that he loves you enough for him to just abandon his kids, which is effectively what you want him to do.

You are being selfish, and I say this as constructive criticism. You want him to behave like a single person, which he is not. When you love a person, you must love him unconditionally, warts and all. In this case, you do not really love him. You are mistaking loving yourself, and getting what you want for yourself, as a measure of whether he loves you back equally. That is being unfair.

Under these conditions, you should break up with him. he and the kids do not deserve you.

jtodapizzle

wow, you are very jealous and I don't understand why he would want to be with you in the first place. He had a life before you, that shouldn't be a problem if you were mature. my advice is to find a young guy that hasn't been married before, that way you don't have to worry about kids taking up "your time." Just hopefully you can accept him having other hobbies besides being with you or else you will make your man live a very unhappy life.

Binibini

If you are that selfish and jealous (no offense) I'll say yes you should break up with him.

or if you love him you need to grow up fast and love whoever he loves, don't tell me you don't like his parents too?

That is not love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

stef

I think he should break up with you!!! He shouldn't have to argue with you just b/c he spends time with his children. That's what parents do. Aren't you happy that he is a good enough person to be involved in his children's lives? So many men out there care more about themselves than their children, and end up really screwing up their kids. I can't believe you would be jealous and angry that he is actually being a decent person and father. Grow up, it's not all about you!!!!

feles malavernus

yes! spare him the agony of having you in his life....
i doubt it he will choose you over his kids

firstkiss

tell me, that if it was your kids from a previous marriage, and he did not interact with them, and he wanted nothing to do with your "family" ... what you would do then?...you would have a reversal argument. ..correct?.... now . if you really WANT this man, and it sounds like you do, you need to accept his family, his kids are not always there, so , make the best of it ..

jongbong

zzz... you should if you can't tolerate your own attitude. don't be selfish. if you keep on doing that, u might as well find someone who has no strings attached. be matured. think about it. hmmm... beer... zzz...

dxle

Your boyfriend is a packaged deal. He has kids and they will always be a part of him. If you can't handle the kids or don't want to deal with them, you need to let him know and move on. It is not fair to him, the kids, or yourself if you don't let your feelings known.

battgirl

Turn around the scenario, how about if you are the one with kids. Would you be willing to cut off your children in your life for him?

If you cannot be selfless, then i guess it would be right to break up with him. There is nothing you can do to change the fact that he was once married and he have kids that he adores.

Marriage is a mutual agreement. An agreement with compromise. In this case, he comes with kids, and that's what you have to deal with =)

annabelle p

Do you recall a saying that goes this say, "Love me, love my kids"? This surely applies to you. If you love the man to put your indifference and jealousy towards his kids aside, then, go for it; if not, then it's time for you to exit from his life and give him a chance at happiness with another girl who is willing to put up with his kids.

May I ask, is it just because of jealousy you feel each time he is with his children or, is it insecurity that you feel deep within you?

hotchixxxz

YES BREAK UP with him, he deserve someone better, can we swap bf's? mine is just opposite to urs. but hes too insensitive in every thing in life, maybe because he does not have kid or have not been married i might want your's....

Chris

I think that for his sake you should move on with your life. I can only hope he sees this too and gets rid of you before its too late. You are like a malignant tumor. No matter what your husband will do in your life you will eventually come to be unappreciative as you can only think about yourself. You will not find happiness and joy because you cannot learn to open yourself up to other people in a selfless way.

Sadly, the qualities you sought in your BF were probably that he be a good father. Yet, you don't want to accept this as you can only think of yourself. You are a bad Mother and you will have a bad life for your BF and your future children no matter what you do.

My only advice is to try and get the mental health and counseling you so needly deserve. I would assume you are Bi-Polar and that you suffer from low self esteem. Your BF loves you because you have many great qualities and you are a great person, but your depression issues will make you seem almost like you have two faces or two personalities, and you will struggle in your life with him to find happiness because of your own personal issues that you probably will blame on him.

So get help, get counseling, and break up with this guy until you are cured. If you don't believe me, ask you Mom if she thinks you have two personalities?

luosechi é§±å£«åŸº

Yes, do break up with him. He has 3 daughters which are a part of him. As a parent, it is his obligation to make sure that his children get good education and grow up to be useful members of society. You never had children, so do not understand that. Go find yourself somebody else.

Jay & Gigi

Well...I guess you are the one your boyfriend to get rid out of his life......you ask me WHY? even a stepmother of the kids you are not deserve to be......too sad coz you seems like your selfish you dont think anything but yourself, sorry my words no offends mean okey...I just base my answer according to your story.........

3-selin

package deal....Baby...His Kids Are always going to be in his life like it or not...so what do you think???

dreamcatcher

if you truly cannot accept his chilldren in his life you have to make the choice to walk away. children are a precious gift, the feelings your man has towards them are honourable and right. he loves them, they are his blood, you surely cannot really ask him to not see them any more? this would break his heart and in time he would hate you for it. there is no love stronger than a parent for their child. think carefully. my best advice is to try to get to know his children, you are not their parent but you could be a valued friend and confidente to them, you may find a fantastic relationship comes out of it. you and your partner would get along better too, without the arguaments and frustrations you have now. best wishes

ScarletRaven

Yes, you should. Love for someone should be unconditional, and in choosing to love him, you should have learned to accept everything that he is, and that includes his past, and his children. No offense, but your refusal to accept his children is very selfish of you. I basically can't understand why you would be jealous of his kids, since love for a potential life partner and for ones children are entirely different things.

Sexy No More

Break up with him. It's not fair to both of you especially if you have that feeling of jealousy and insecurity. I guess, you already made up your mind to leave him for posting this question here. Seems that you are already fed up seeing father and daughters' happy scenes...

ericka

you should answer your own question. i mean, it entirely is up to you. maybe you are having thoughts like that because your love for your boyfriend is not enough for you to love those he loves too. and besides, when you met your man, he is already like that. so love should be selfless.
he doesn't want to be in the situation if he has a choice, i think. but it's already there and his kids are parts of his being. you should accept it with open arms. otherwise, i could not say you really love your boyfriend. you might have imperfections too like him (it's just that it's different, not about kids) but he loves you still. don't you think he deserves to be accepted wholly too?
goodluck!

jan-na~â™¥~ and im luvin it

you have to love every part of him.. his kids are part of his life, if you cant love them, at least accept them. you dont need to treat them the way your bf does.
you have to understand your partner if he spends time with them. he cant just shut the kids out of his life for you. that would be selfish. love is giving. talk to him about how you feel. you both need to compromise.

The Rhino

no but he should definately dump you. This is the reason Filipina women in the west have reputations for being manipulative gold diggers and family breakers.

freeverse

let's put it in reverse situation?
what if you are in the situation of your b/f and he is acting as you were?
or what if you are one of his children..what will you feel if the woman that your father love don't like you?

grow up..you should break up with your b/f he deserves someone that will love him..for who he is and what he has.

â˜ºflipâˆžflapâ˜»

you should understand that he still got the obligation as a father to their childrens, even i, i will do the same. There is nothing to lose for you if u least try to speak to them, just be a nice stepmom or else they will hate you as hell, & that cost a problem.If you really love each other, be more comfortable with each other, no need to break with him coz of that, dont be selfish.okie...

yeah

Troubadour

If you can not accept his children without arguing and causing trouble then the answer is YES!!!!!

Break up with him, as someone else said "They are a package deal".

xander65

You don't deserve his love. Leave him. He's trying to get his life in order and start new with you but your too selfish to see that. If you can't accept the terms, then find someone else to use and take advantage of. If your that hard up for someone, date one of those foreigners with bad teeth and hygiene. So go home watch TFC and plan out your strategy on the next poor soul your going to fu~~ over. !!!!!

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