People dont know ANYTHING about Australia?

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Ken E

kristen, we drive on the correct side of the road.

Australian Q & A
1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...

4. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

5. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

6. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get that far and we'll send the rest of the directions.

7. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

8. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

9. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

10. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

11. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

12. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

13. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

14. Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

15. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

16. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

17. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

18. Q: I was in Australia in 2000, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

19. Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Joanna G

I don't know about Roo's but I once witnessed a legless dingbat drongo try and ride a ferral emu out the back of Cobar and get ripped up pretty bad by the the Emu for his effort!

P.S Fatty's the Man, go the pub brawls, LOL

Batako

G'day,.

KenE... mate... you are hilarious. If he is not chosen as the best answer, I will vote for him :)

I've never got so much laugh by reading what silly questions posted. Good one mate... you really make my day :)

So... one thing for sure though... this backward country called Australia can still beat US in World Cup Soccer (technically)... so go figure :)

love&faith

Aussies abroad rock.. lol i know what you mean i tend to get those questions ALOT.

tentofield

" where we drink Fosters"

Not in Australia we don't. You must be English. Australians haven't drunk Fosters for years, they have acquired some taste. They brew Fosters in the UK now and they drink it over there while watching Neighbours. Australians don't drink Fosters or watch Neighbours.

The_Mouse

And after so many Americans came here for the Sydney Olympics in 2000 (or watched it on TV), they still have NO idea about Australia.

<sigh>

Anyway... I'd better go check my kangaroo. It's been raining and I have to make sure he got his wet weather hopping legs on when I ride him to work tomorrow.

Elizabeth

We may not ride kangaroos but you do have to watch out for the drop bears. ;)
It seems to me that Americans appear to be particularly gullible.
There was a question on here recently re: Do Tasmanians have 2 heads? If they do. Why?

greatbigfeet

Speak for yourself.

I do ride a kangaroo.

.

Jareth's Trousers

Don't feel too bad. That girl probably can't name all 50 states. Actually, she probably thinks Chicago is a state. It's sad but true that a lot of Americans don't know squat about the rest of the world. A lot of them don't know squat about anything beyond the 10 mile radius around their homes. I am American, and I've lived all over this country, and the misconceptions from one region of the country to another (hell one part of a state in some cases) are flabbergasting.

You should have just gone off on her in Aussie slang. She wouldn't have known what the hell was going on, and her tiny head might have exploded!

And Ken E - Thanks for the laugh! But would anyone even notice naked hippo racing in King's Cross????

salsa

Was at Bendigo, Victoria for more than 2 weeks last year. Loved the bushes. Loved the sheep but was a bit weary of the kangaroos. Kind of big! Loved the weather, loved the people and most of all loved the peace and quiet there.

West Aussie Chick

Hahaha...

I read a question on here asking if we call winter summer and summer winter because our seasons are backward! Good lord...winter is WINTER! Summer is SUMMER! How hard is that to figure out. Did this person think that while sweltering in 45 degree heat we say phew...this is one hot winter we are having? Some people are just ignorant and obviously think we are a tiny backward country where everyone knows everyone else. I have been asked a million times...do you know such and such? Hello...there are 20 million or so people in this country! It really does annoy the crap outta me!

tuppenybitz

I know what ya mean,a question in hear asked if we celebrate Xmas on the same day as the US
some think we don't have electricity,Internet, and they think roo's running around town like cats and dogs
funny how dumb some people are!

renae

LoL - when I was in america, I got told that I "spoke English really good"

Don't worry!! I had been ask

Do you live on the tree?

Worse than yours right?

arrabella

i have been asked what we do when koalas fall out of trees and hit us on the head. Or what do we do when a crocodile is near us when we are in the street.

maddass

Sorry i cant answer ur Q for laughing at KEN E's Q&A............
If you dont get best answer i too will vote for you. Best laugh ive had in ages..................

jpturboprop

As a duel national, I feel compelled to point out that neither of my countries (USA and Australia) has a monoply on stupidity. Actually, it is refreshing to see some of the answers to this question, and their sources- UK, the middle east, Asia. If this is not proof of the universality of stupidity, it is confirmation of the universality of humour. This series of answers has provided me the best laugh I have had since my last visit to the Bull Fighting section! We are all normal people, and mates through and through. Once we all accept that premise, maybe we can just get along.

Just Plain Sarah

i agree american people are ***** sometimes.. someone was on vacation and their like "did you know steve irwin personally" im like wtf

Divya

i do... u have the sydney harbour bridge and sydney opera house in sydney... then in western australia, u got fremantle..great bargains there.... there is a good chocolate place in perth.. i forgot what it's called ... i loved the chocolates when i bought them there... president of australia..john howard... in perth , there is a place called kings park.. great place... in fremanlte u get the best fish and chips... i loved that.
U can go skoelling at the great barrier reef,... u can go into an airballoon in queens..etc.. and " good day mate!"...

fanta

i come from Perth in western Australia when i came home from the middle east people asked me some real dumb questions like
do they ride camels
do they live in tents
is it green
my answers where oh yes there camels have 4 wheels there tents are up to 5 storeys high and every thing is white
they have the most beautifully green gardens over there
i did get some funny looks
the Arabs knew alot about us apart from they never seen a packet of 50 smokes and never heard of a drive throw bottle shop.

jobees

We drive around in cars or catch the bus or walk.
We have t.v
we drink soda but right now it cold and hot chocolate more desired.'
yes we have months

we are great people

molly

Sometimes that works in our favour I remember the local kids in my town selling double gees to the visiting American sailors as Mountain Devil eggs they made a fortune.

Fatty

I think you are the misinformed one sir,

here in Coober Pedy, due to the high price of fuel, we ride kangaroos - not just to school, but also to the bar, where we drink Fosters and watch Crocodile Dundee before finishing the night with a drunken punch-up

This, my friend, is the true Australia

kitty_cat_claws_99

ok, regular maybe, but , normal might be pushing it ok. j/k lol.

stan.ciu2

The truth about kangaroos: if one drives across the Nullabor Plains, hundreds of miles of desolation during the day, you will find at least one kangaroo as roadkill for every two hundred yards that you travel, courtesy of overnight semi-trailers.

AL R

What question?

Freddy

Hahah, you ride to school on kangaroos!

Eandt

I would like to clear up a few misconceptions about Australia for all those Australians out there.
There are places where there are kangaroos roam the streets. Many places in Australia are outside Melbourne and Sydney, most of the country in fact. I have seen many many many kangaroos in streets in both small towns and cities in Australia. One person said we drink soft drink, what others call soda, but hot chocolate is more appropriate. I would much prefer to drink a soda where I work. Australia is a big, big country, some places are still hot, yes even in winter. Some people do have pet kangaroos. And lastly many Australian do not have a sense of humour. And yes we all love Fosters. Ok the last one is a lie.

Kristen B

But you do drive on the "wrong" side of the street.....

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