Here's my dilemma?

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Jouvert

Frigg Baby, if he is treating you the way you want to be treated don't leave him. If you are a praying woman, then that is where you should start. God can change any situation and any person. Devote yourself to prayer on his behalf and be patient and loving towards him in the meantime, then invite we to de wedding.

ilyena

Hear nah...
Low self esteem is a big problem I use to battle...
After my x... de same red man... use me so. Oh God girl I tell myself well it eh ha nobody for me.
Well de indian dat I dating.. I mean... ah reall check fuh he an ting eh but sometimes I used to ask him dem ting.
He once told me this and I'll never forget it...
He said:
"Baby do you want me in your life or not??
If you want me to go away because you think you're not good enough for me then give me good reasons why you're not good enough and I would leave.
I know why I want you in my life.
You are important to me and no whether you're a janitor or the president... I see what other people don't see. I see the real you.
If you want me to go away forever... I will but remember its not because I had any insecurities about you.. but because you just couldn't trust yourself"

Girl well by de time ah done read de email ah was in tears...
Ah jus melt...
And then ah learned to relax

louie girl

My advice is that you give your man time to heal his hurts and help him work through his low self esteem. For example when he says" what do u see in me", say your beautiful smile, your kind words etc, etc. As anyone knows being cheated on reallyy does damage to ones heart, mind as well as soul. Let your man know that all though he is hurting, you are feeling a bit annoyed as you are trying to help him through this. Tell your man that you went for him because of what was in the inside and that if you could find someone better you would have left him by now. Just pay him nice comments and you will see improvements. Trust me. Don't leave him over something that can be worked out together.

â™¥Caseyâ™¥

well.. alll i can tell you iz spend more time with him... show him that you love him....... and have soo much of fun that he would forget about the past.....

wakizapup

ok it is goin to take alot more you got to do wat your doin but step it up a notch thats all. If you have to tell him to shut up and listen thats all it took for me

Elfie!

This is truly a dilemma - it is most difficult to love someone that does not think they deserved to be loved. If he is constantly like this then maybe you should sit down and talk to him. Let him know that his low-esteem is putting inexorable force on your relationship as it is essentially leading to his distrust of you.

I am sure I do not have to tell you that trust is one of the most important factors in a relationship, if not the most. He needs to be informed that he is pushing you away and he should not doubt your feelings and you.

On a side note, you should advise him to see a therapist - his low self-esteem may lead to a personality disorder or may even be a manifestation of an existing one. Remember that getting professional advise on your problems and taking care of your mental health does not make you ill - it makes you smart.

hottawarrior - win lose or draw

Frigg girl, Jouvert and Ily have the right ideas, go to God and stick with him. At one point in time i had ah problem with low self esteem. (ah know allyuh cant believe that atall, atall) and surprisingly enough it was something my grandmom said that made a difference...she was quarrelling with meh grandfather and told him in no uncertain terms 'that she was old enough to do and say as she pleased' i know its wierd, but it made sense then. To me it meant that what ever i do, as long as i am happy with it, den f*** who ever dont like it. It always meant to me that i had to start liking ME, and stop caring what people think and say about me. And as long as i remembered that I am the important one here, then its all good. Now i dress how i please, who ent like it could sit down near it, do what i want, change my appearance to suit me, who ent like that is dem business. as long as i am pleased with the outcome, thats all that matters.

The moral of all this is that, your friend needs to start believing in himself again, and start liking himself again, and realise that his ex was deliberately trying to hurt him (and she succeeded, bigtime). and that at the end of all this, he needs to let go of all the crap she fed him and move on...especially since it have somebody who realll check for him!

xshawtysoflyx

make him feel betta about himself...
hang out wit him and show him u care about him
talk about the things he's good at and tell him there's hope
just be there for him and show him the best time of his life

riviÃ¨re

from experience i think you should really think of how much you are willing to put in because it's going to take alot of work. secondly dont give up? if you give up on him then he may go in depression because then he woulod hvae been proven right. it woul take alot out of you but you should keep on telling him what it is that attracts you to him. and remember Rome was not build in a day!

YaYa

Well, if you leave him then he'll be right.

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