Mid week stress reliever?

Two Trinis
Two Trinis go hiking and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer.
After a day of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they've forgotten a bottle opener.
The first Trini turns to the second and says,
"You hafta go back and get de opener or else we cyah drink no Carib."
"No way," says the second. "By the time I get back, you go eat out all de food."
"Oh shimps man, I ent going to eat the damn food!," says the Trini.?Just hurry nah man!"
3 full days pass and there's still no sign of the second Trini.
Exasperated and starving, the first Trini digs into the sandwiches...
Suddenly, the second Trini pops out from behind a rock and yells, "I knew it! I not going for no damn opener yuh greedy SOB!!!!"

Fried Eggs
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to
STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied,
"I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Valentines Gift
A woman wakes up on Feb. 14th and tells her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentines Day. What do you think it means??"
"You'll know tonight" he says.
That evening, the man comes home with a small package and gives it to his wife.
Delighted, she opens it and finds..
.. a book titled "The Meaning of Dreams"

Accent
A young Trinbago Yankee was having a conversation with a Trinidadian one day and told him that she had returned to Trinidad to get married. He couldn't understand why after living abroad for so many years she couldn't find a nice man to marry instead of coming back to Trinidad.
She eventually told him that she was getting married to a "Mexican doctor" (in a very pronounced American accent at that). Well the guy couldn't believe what he had heard and told her."A Mexican doctor! But girl, ah real happy for yuh. Yuh real do good for yuhself!".
Eventually the day of the wedding came and the same guy who she told about the wedding decided that he wanted to pass by and see for himself how things were proceeding. He however noticed that all that was playing at the reception was dub music. He couldn't understand how they would only be playing dub music and the guy was Mexican, so he decided to ask someone about it.
He said, "Hear nah...how come dey playin so much ah dub, an de fella is a Mexican doctor?". The other person said, "Mexican doctor?...man... de fella is a maxi conductor!!"