Converting to Greek Orthodox ...?

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cpinatsi

First of all, these guys are just stupid, they may dislike you whatever you do. At least at first. They may love you once they get to know you.
Your religion is not a problem, I mean you are Christian after all. And no one should make you change your religion.
Anyway, if you want to become orthodox, which is not such a big compromise anyway since you are already a Christian, you need to find a godmother or godfather and a priest, and be baptised as an Orthodox. It's no big deal. Go to a greek orthodox church and ask the priest about details, because for infants you just go and get baptised, for adults they may require you to have some sessions with the priest or sth.

EDIT: His parents wanted you to ask permission to date their son? Where are we? Even in Greece of 1950's, it was the guy who should ask permission to date the daughter, not the other way round. There is a word in Greek for the type of guy you're dating: mamakias. I think you understand what it means (mama's boy). This is the worst type to marry into. Even if he does marry you or sth., the mother-in-law will make your life hell. I can't tell you to break up, that's up to you, and how well you can haandle the situation. But a man must stand up for his choices, that's what you must tell him. Why is he afraid of his parents? Is he dependent of them financially? How old is he anyway? If you can both provide for yourselves, it is the family that must take it or leave it. I am not saying people should hurt their parents' feelings, but as long as you are willing to go along with some major issues of theirs, e.g. Orthodoxy, they shouldn't make their son's choices. But again, I am telling you that orthodoxy is NOT their problem. Getting baptised is a gesture you could do IF and WHEN relations between you and them have been restored.

Linktothepast83

Well, unless they are extremely religious my guess is that the main reason might be that you were married and have a child already. If he wasn't married and doesn't have any children, the parents might see it as a burden for their son. Just try to be certain that religion is the main reason, which i doubt (after all you are still a Christian). If it isn't the main reason don't expect any miracles if you convert.

Vergina

I think you watched one too many times "my big fat Greek wedding"
You say they lost their trust on you because you "didn't ask their permission to date him"?
Anyway, if your question is legit,(seriously doubt it) I'd say is time to say buy to Chris.Even if you manage to keep him with you away from his parents it will always be around the 2 of you like a black cloud and any time there are problems in the marriage (yes, there are times you have problems, you know) this matter will come up more and more.
And, no matter how well you mean, please don't use the religion and your conversion as a means to reach out to them.
As an adult you need serious studying and absolute understanding of the religion before you decide to convert. It IS a big deal contrary to someone else's writing here.
From what you say, I assume you must be still very young and Chris is young and/or dependent on his parents?
If thats the case allow me to use the phrase from the country song "you must know when to hold 'em and must know when to fold 'em"
Good luck

asimenia

Firstly 'Caution I speak my mind' may like to get their facts correct before 'speaking their mind' (and maybe brush up on their English) I only have one account as far as I know unless I have a 'copycat' that I'm not aware of.

To answer the question - as you are already Catholic I wouldn't change to Orthodox as you are both Christian and it is ok to marry in a Greek church without converting. As for your son - is the son the Greek man's child? If yes, then I would have him baptised Greek Orthodox, if not then I it would depend on where the child is being brought up.
There's not that much difference in the Orthodox/Catholic religions so they may be using that as a way to cause trouble. I'm Church of England and I married in an Orthodox church in Greece without a problem

Maybe his parents do not want him to marry you and are using the 'religion' card - your man should stand up to them if he truly loves you. Try as you might - they may never accept you or your son - it will be their loss! When you have your first child with him .... watch their attitude change!

I hope you decide to keep your religion and not try so hard to get their approval - your boyfriend is the only person that matters in this and if he accepts you as you are - don't change!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Your added info:
How old is he?

What does he have to be scared of with his parents? Is he financially attched to them?

Where are you? I doubt you are in Greece as Greeks here move with the times - more likely Greeks outside that get stuck in the past! NO ONE would ask permission to date a guy!!! If anyone were to ask (rare cases) it would be the guy asking the girl's father!

Why are you a whore? Because you have a child? If that's the case you can tell them out of 10 weddings (in Greece) I have been to in the past years - 8 brides were pregnant!

My sister had 2 kids when she met her Greek husband - and the kids are mixed race - but she married the Greek and had a son with him - so don't get too upset - there are many decent Greeks out there. As for the Greek parents - sometimes no ones good enough for their son be them foreign or Greek - many Greek girls have a hard time too with Greek mother in laws.
My sister in law (Greek) met and fell in love with a guy (Greek) from the next town (in Greece) when she was 20 something - his mother destroyed their relationship (because my s.in.l had been married when she was 18 for one year) They met again when she was in her late 30s - him 40s and finally married - M.I.L realised she had made a mistake all those years ago - but now the have been having IVF forever in the hopes of having a baby - she's now 45 - he's 49 .... who knows what would have happened if he hadn't listened to his meddling mother!
You concern is with your son and frankly no guy is worth begging for! Maybe it's time to confront these monsters of parents directly and ask them what their problem is!

Min Tous Kiklous Terates

Samantha iam not going to go in tot he relegious side of this although its your desrie to change...What i will say is this .you are not marrying his family you are hopefully marrying him..the whole idea of marriage is to find A PARTNER FOR LIFE not substitute parents..or relegion ..if he has any other palns in his mind other than that ..then dont even bother to go any futher ..because what ever sacrafice you will do it willb e in vain for your happines belive me i seen many of these unions and they alwsy fail becuse of relegious or parents... if he dose not take you to his cave then it not a marriage ..only you and him are to be in that cvae no one else apart from your kids....its admirable you are willing to change but belive me he has to take controll or nothing happens. iam sorry but even as a greek i see these things every day they dont work unless he makes his own world.. and the thing is he is proably indoctrinated tot he core to be greek orthodox and to have his own children and mary a greek orthodox girl..and i would say his parents completley controll him..

God Bless America

Lots of great answers - so my answer is do not convert.

Being raised in a Greek Orthodox house myself, my first husband for Roman Catholic and the church accepted him as is. No conversion. Both of our religions are similar and my parents didn't make him change. After 8 years of marriage, we divorced.

I went back to the church and got my church divorce and New York state divorce as well.

Married husband number 2. Irish Catholic and again, no change in any conversion.

Don't let his parents "bully" the situation. If this man truly loves you, he needs to tell his "momma" to back off.

You are not being married to the parents, but to their son.

Jack

Listen sweetheart, should you stay or should you go? We can not answer for you. Read and judge for yourself. Follow your heart and that women's intuition never lets us down. You know deep in your heart is the answer. Hope all works out for you.GL

vcs7578

This is a very loaded situation. You and your boyfriend really need to sit down and sort out the real reason behind this behavior and most important, is there a chance for reconciliation? The son should know his parents and behavior better, but he needs to be truthful, frank and open to you, at least for the sake of the son.

Here are the starters and you two can expand and only you two can answer.
Is it cultural issue - you not being Greek origin, language, food cooking customs etc. Can you overcome this?
Is it that you did not grow up Greek Orthodox? In that case, you cannot turn the clock back and no matter what you do and even convert the situation will not improve.
Is it your spousal status? Fundamentally Orthodox and Catholics have the same views. You probably understand better. Once the opinion is formed, would your status change or conversion change their attitude?
Hope you find a peaceful solution - the magic is in the air for the holidays.

Zoi ((Î–Ï‰Î®))

All of your answers have something to offer you.
I agree 100% with 'Min mou tous kyklous Terates'. I wouldn't convert if I were you, it's not necessary!
They are bothered by the fact that you have a child and a divorce. Don't pay attention to them.

emiliosailez

Briefly, you are selling yourself short. You are willing to "convert" your beliefs just to gain approval. Not a valid reason, unless of course you are not all that into "religion".
Personally if that were the case, I would convert to a born-again Atheist or an agnostic, just to stay neutral.

Acoreana83

hi samantha!
i feel for you and your very delicate situation...lots of people gave you good answers so im not sure if mine will be of any use, but i will give it a shot anyways...
first of all, no one should tell you or make you change your religion. that is like them telling you what to believe in your own life and heart. you must be convicted of a belief and stick to it.
next, if his parents do not wish him to be with you than it is their loss. you will not be marrying them, you are marrying their son. if he is a real man, he will defend you as a man (being as the head of his family) should defend his wife (to be).
if he is afraid of his own parents than shame on him. people need to see others for who they are and not what they appear to be. if you are a nice person (which im sure you are) and you and chris love each other, that is what matters...not what his parents have to say!!
i wish you all the best =)

p.s. i knew of this sort of thing happening in places like india but i did not know it is common in greece =(
you learn something new everyday huh?!!

Artemis

I don't believe that converting to a religion to please someone else is going to solve your problems. It's up to your boyfriend to stick up for you and himself. If you're determined to go through with it though why not ask your boyfriend to arrange a meeting with his priest so that he can tell you more.

Airpole

I tend to agree with Linktopast that their objection is on account of you having a child. They take therefore the long way to make things difficult for you.
If that is in the States, then my dear lady, you better be getting away from that person.
If he is half supporting his parents in you converting to G.O. then he is what here in Greece we call "mamakias", which means mamma's boy.
I would most certain remain a R.C. and I would have tried to gain their approval by other means and not through their religion.
It is a cheap blackmail if that is passed on to you.
If on the other hand it's a decision of your own and one more token of your love towards him you still have to gain their approval.
What is his position on that decision?

flavivs severvs

This item shows the Greek attitude towards national or religious diversity:

Sister Augustine Bewicke on the Macedonian autonomy

A letter to Ian Malcolm, a British diplomat.

January 4, 1919

St. Paul's Hospital, Salonika

Dear Sir, Please excuse the liberty I take in writing you, it is because the final settlement in the Balkans is of vital interest to the Catholics in these countries. - I have been 33 years in this Mission, the Uniate Catholic Mission, which at the beginning of the Second Balkan War counted about 10,000 Catholics. The Treaty of Bucharest, which divided Macedonia without any regard to justice, was the cause of these poor people being dispersed on account of their Slav language, which was forbidden in Churches and schools. - The Bishop had his residence in Salonika, he has now been in exile more then 3 years, his priests are dispersed, his flock is indeed without pastors, nor do we have any hope of his return to any place under Greek or Serbian rule. - The Greeks will not admit the Slav language in Churches or schools; the inhabitants of Macedonia are in the great majority Slavs; they call themselves Macedonians, and what they desire and what we ardently desire for them is an autonomy under European control. - I whatever way Macedonia might be divided, the people would be always discontented, and would fight again as soon as possible. The only hope I can foresee is in strong autonomy, which neither Greeks nor Bulgarians nor Serbs would dare attack; then the Macedonians, who are really intelligent and docile when they are well treated would peacefully develop this beautiful fertile country.. Surely Europe will not leave Macedonia under people whom the Macedonians hate, and whom they will continually fight..

Public Record Office (London) - FO 608/44. Peace Conference (British delegation), 1919.

?Caution I Speak My Mind??

Are you REALLY samantha or you are the 3rd account of Asimenia(os) or you are the 10th account of Charles_N?Anyway who Greek boy from the upper you are?Because there are many Greek boys WHO PRETTEND that they are foreign girls and asking nice question for themselves.And NO Greek mothers AREN'T overprotecting of their sons.BOTH GREEK PARENTS FOR BOTH SEXES OF THEIR CHILDREN.

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