Crisis of conscience: did I do wrong in saying this to a little boy?

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Hurricane

No, don't be sad.You said the truth.There is no reason for a child not to go to school even being poor.Because government helps them and all the books are free! His family just doesn't want him to study because they need no staff now.if the boy goes to school,they need to hire a staff.They just want to earn more but money is not everything!

Beckers

You should have asked him his circumstances kindly instead of scolding him. At his age, he's following someone else's orders.

Totally Blunt

It is obligatory to send kids to school until they complete 8th grade. Though, if the boy doesn't go, I'm sure it isn't his fault. Maybe he does go to school and helps his parents out afterwards? I mean, this is Istanbul, after all, not some remote village.

anlarm

I think I understand you. You didn't mean to hurt him. It hurt you to see a boy working instead of being at school. Unfortunately there are so many of them in Turkey. As for the change, I agree with my friend who said they probably pocket the change and end up with a large amount at the end of the day. He probably is doing it under the instructions of his boss (whoever he is). Thus, they learn to become greedy and lose their morals.

Missy

don't blame yourself. what you said was correct.
i agree with hurricane. there is no real reason that he can't go to school. education is free in turkey
but maybe he was sad because he wants to go to school but some people (you know who i mean) tell him that he has to work.

hanibal

Don't be sad.
Let's think like that.
Your meal is 6.50 YTL. You give 10.00 . If he says I cant breake it! 3.50 to pocket.
Lets say, he delivers 100 and half of the people says It's ok.
50 X 3.50 = 175.00 YTL. = 100 в‚¬. for a day.

Dont worry he earns more than us.

germanygirl_us

turkey is not a rich country. i wouldn't trust a small boy like that with change and the owner of the restaurant might ot either. he could lose it or be overwhelmed with the mathskills. he could be from a poor family or have parents unable to work or maybe he is an orphan and the owners might have given him a job to earn his keep or to make barely enough money to survive on his own. maybe u can go to the restaurant and inquire about the boy, if u think u were to harsh maybe invite him to have dinner there with u, talk to him and get to know your little delivery boy. maybe it was fate that u crossed paths like that, think about it

kuntree

you were right that he should have had change at lrast for a 10, but then again he may have not brought the change so you would tip him and if hes that far ahead of the game then he did not need to be in school.

..Tolia..

Your thought is right

but I think you would have much better results if you said these things to his parents

poor little boy is not responsible for none of those 2 matters

Regards

jenny

Well, maybe he DOES want to go to school.
And he possibly does use that trick of not having change, to earn a bit extra, as Hanibal said.

You and I are both Yabanciler (oops - do I mean YabancilAr?) - at least, I am one of them "-to-be". It is hard for us to see this in Turkey, because we are used to different situations for children in N. America.

ItВґs not his fault... but I donВґt know what can really be done. Talk to his father ? (Well, thatВґs what we N. Americans might consider, but if you really want to try to help him there, ask a serious, well-meaning Turkish person how to help - we have our ideas and they have theirs, which will work better).

The only other thing you can do is to carry the right change when he delivers your lunch tomorrow!! :-) And maybe have a friendly chat with him!

Take care!! :-)

realistic

You were right in telling him he should be in school, but keep in mind that he probably felt very grown up having a job and like most women you couldnt resist crushing his little ego.

ericthesmartest

Thats just mean...u couldnt have been a little softer w/ ur response? Maybe him and his family have to get jobs to afford to live somewhere. Before u say something, think first.

Fenerli

I know you said it for his own good...even though they are well off enough for him to go to school...maybe his dad doesn't want him to go to school and take over the family business instead.

Beau R

I agree that he should have had change, although if it were known that he carried a small amount of money, he might be robbed. The comment about school however was rude. He may not be able to go to school for some cultural reason, or a question of affordability. Do not impose your social morals on another culture.

butterfly kisses

well it depends. If the boy is young enough to be in school then that's fine. But if he's in like high school then maybe he has family or home problems or even problems at home. and that's why he's not in school. And the change part. not everyone has change and that's not a problem.

Qu'est ce que tu pense?

The second part to your response was harsh. I don't think a young stranger would like you criticizing their lifestyle.

Charmed

But Д° know that you said this to him because you wanted him to do the right thing.The poor kid.

Artistichand

you sound like you are not Turk.... Probably Armenian...am I right.... I like everybody.....

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