Is virginity still a taboo in today's Turkey?

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DejaVu

I dont think its an issue anymore some of my friends are not virgins some of them got married and their husband have not made an issue out of it.....Now these are real men, good men....

to make it an issue is the most horrible thing as some girls born without it what should be done for it then, dont be so pity people......

Namus beyninizde....if someone is not virgin doesn't mean she sleeps around like a lot of disgusting men do....no women don`t cos women are different and better then men in the subject of namus....

Pinar

Not in my social enviroment. I am 32 year old single woman. How on earth a man can expect me to be virgin. Plus that is not healthy.
Personally I consider that expectation very humiliating.
If I get marry one day, will the guy be a virgin???

P.S. Sapsallardan biri benim. :)))))

To Hannibal: Kisisel almadim (buradaki alinmayacagim arkadaslardan biri sen ve Morticia.) Bu arada
LOL @ isteyen istedigi gibi sevissin ulan :)))))))))))))))

♫ELI♫

yes darling... guys might say no but ya get married and at ur first fight they rub ur face in it...i no from me friends

Irmak

Unfortunately, yes.

PS: BosphorusBabe, is ur last sentence for me? If it is, then I have to explain my source: My bf.

One day we were just talking (not about sex) and the subject came to virginity..I asked him his opinion and he said 'When we get married one day, I want you as a virgin.If u won't, I don't think our relationship can continue.' Then we closed the subject.
My bf is a lil bit old-brained but nice person.

PS to hanibal: Ben de senin görüşüne saygılıyım fakat katılmıyorum.Ne demek 'eğer bakire olmazsan seninle çıkmam veya evlenmem'? Düşünebiliyor musun sırf bu bakirelik yüzünden sevdiğinden vazgeçebiliyor..Tabe şu da iyi değil: 'Ben açık görüşlüyüm hadi herkesle yapiyim'..Ama bir kadının geçmişteki seks hayatı şimdiki ilişkisini etkilememeli bence.Adam eğer sevecekse kadını sevsin, ona aşık olduğu için sevsin; kadını iki bacağının arasındaki zar yüzünden terketmesin veya sevmesin..Bu yüzden buna geri-kafalılık diyorum...Ve Allah aşkına şu yaşımı unut.Sonuçta benim de bu gibi konular hakkında bilgim ve görüşlerim var.Benim görüşüme katılanlar tabi ki bana thumbs-up verebilirler.Ama yaşım yüzünden burda bazı konularda ciddiye alınmayacaksam, unutun beni.Hiç tanışmamış olalım.

*** Mustafa abi..Ne alaka sınavla ya..Valla kafa dağıtıyom böyle şeylerle :D Hehe sağol, 6. şapşal :P (bak valla şaka olsun diye yazdım, alınmak yok tmm mı? Alınırsan çok üzülürüm )': ) Bu arada ben de bir tane sana verdim ;-) Ve ben kimseyi kırmak istemiyorum. Sadece Murat abinin cevabı bana biraz fazla 'duygusuz' geldi..Ve sanki beni ve bana thumbs-up verenleri yaşımdan dolayı ciddiye almıyormuş gibi konuştu..Belki ben kimseyi kırmak istemiyorum ama beni kırdılar.
Neyse ya..

YabanciKiz

Yes, except among the upper educated classes in Istanbul, Ankara and Izmir. It's "okay" for guys to get anagi-anagi though among all classes. I've even heard such backwards nonsense from older Turkish women that you lose your virginity from wearing a tampon. I've also heard of a woman (professional, working at PricewaterhouseCoopers, so you would imagine her husband would be of a similar background) getting dumped after her honeymoon when he discovered that she was not a virgin--the shock!

Education is everything, folks.

EDIT: Hannibal, there's such a thing as birth control now. Welcome to the 20th century. And anlarm, I'm honest about my sexual history with my boyfriend. He should be as well. It goes both ways. If a girl feels like she has to lie to her husband, then there are deep-seated trust issues anyway.

sultan.murat

If you take the majority yes. However a lot of men would love to see as many underwear as possible before getting married to a virgin. The question is; if men want to deflorate
as many girls as they can and then get married to a virgin, where is that lucky virgin going to be from? In other words, will there be enough virgins left for them to marry then?
A lot of these chauvenists would kill their own sisters and daughters if they found out that they lost their virginity, but they feel comfortable to have sex with other girls.
So both men and women will have to decide whether virginity should stay a taboo or not. If yes then both should play a fair game.

Totally Blunt

It may be so among some people. The point is, would you like to be stuck up with somebody for whom virginity is a taboo.

There are zillions of nice, educated, good looking, open minded guys who think that this "taboo" is just crap. Just ignore the rest. Someone who thinks virginity is a taboo will cause you more problems once a marriage is up and going.

Buyrun, beyler, buradan yakın.

(My post is meant for adult women, not underage children. Kids, you must avoid sex until you come of age. And I mean it.)

genç türk

It is worse in primitive societies like armenians and kurds. They kill you for not being a virgin.

EDIT: Hypocrisy is that some guys exploit the virgin girls to have sex with them, then expect to marry a virgin. Smarta**es, how the hell do you expect this system to work if everyone does the same? Like Anlarm has already mentioned, if the hymen alone is important for you, would it be better if the girl had anal and oral with every guy that she dated? This is insane. (Hanibal lafım sana değil)

EDIT2: A few words from Sezen Aksu: If the guys had it, it wouldn't have been the problem that it is today.

MORTİCİA

surprisingly this time ı totally agree with eli m.

PS : why dont you guys just accept the fact that yes it is a TABOO since evreybody birbirine girdi. Ben Bosphoros Babe ' e kayılıyorum , evet bencede herşeyin bir yaşı ve sırası var.

Bu arada bizler Irmak 'ın yaşını sorun etseydik zaten onu en
başından ciddiye almazdık . Onun için hiç alınmaya gerek yok .

Ipek K

Except a small minority, yes it is. In some cases it can even lead to murder as some of the answerers mentioned. I believe the reason is that men do not have enough self confidence in them but as I witnessed and heard, some girls go kinda crazy and do it with every men that they can get their hands on after they loose their virginity. I believe both sides are wrong.

I don't believe in having sex without love or at least a very strong attraction, otherwise it will be just mating- my opinion of course-.

Beach Saint

Trust me, virginity is NOT taboo (forbidden) in Muslim countries.

If you are a woman living under Muslim laws, culturally you would want to remain a virgin.

I believe forced virginity testing has been banned in Turkey since 2001.

Frank B

OK....I see you all more less say that virginity matters in Turkey...Must be really depressing there if you are a woman..
Is this everywhere in Turkey?

Here in Greece, we don't give a damn...Most work and date men regularly and if you raise such an issue they will probably send you to hell...:)

Charmed

Ya bence bunun çok önemli olmaması gerekiyor, eğer birini seviyorsan, bunun bu nedenden dolayı değişmemesi gerekiyor .

i hope it isnt.... virginity is one of the things created by men to degrade women....

kulla

Yes,of corz.

Missy

yes unfortunately it is

but if women have to be virgin when they are married, then same should be applied to men as well

why is it OK if the guy is not virgin????

pumpkin

yes it is...

istisnalar kaideyi malesef bozmuyor....

anlarm

SON EK: pazar gün sınava girecek bir arkadaşımızı konunun odağı haline getirmeyelim lütfen. Irmakcığım sen git dinlen canım. Konu gerçekten bazı toplumlarda çok önemli ama bu birbirimizi kırmamız anlamına gelmiyor. Bu arada altıncı "thumbs up" bendendi :))))))))

And not just in Turkey, but I have heard that virginity is becoming like a fashion in some western countries.
The point is this: If both the man and the girl do it the first time because they love and respect each other, then ok. But if the man is just trying to have sex with as many girls as possible, that is he is not true to the girl, then she is being deceived. Honesty is more important than virginity I guess.
On the other hand, do you know how many "girls" have anal or oral sex but get married as "virgins"? Also, so many girls undergo a simple surgery and become "virgins" again before marriage.
Therefor, the point is being honest, rather than being a virgin. No man would want to marry someone who had sex with just any man. But we wouldn't want them to lie either. Be honest ladies, how many of you married as virgins and how many of you told your husbands about your previous sex affairs?

EK: Irmak'a laf yok, tutturduk bir kızın yaşı 14 diye. Bir zamanlar (bazı yerlerde hala) o yaşta evlenip anne oluyordu kızlar. Irmak canım, bu konuları sınavdan sonra konuşalım:)

GENE EK: Hadi kabul edelim: bekaret bizlere toplumun ve 'gelenekler'in bir dayatması. Olayın biyolojik, içgüdüsel, hayvansal yanları var elbette. Bir de şöyle düşünün. What if the society told us that virginity was bad, and that we should all marry non-virgins! Then some girls would probably go to a doctor before marriage and have the hymen surgically penetrated (just like they do the opposite now).
I still think partners should be honest and open.
Anyway, there is another option: Be a good Muslim and when you die and go the Heaven, there will be lots and lots of "high-bosomed virgin" (the Holy Quran) waiting for you there.

hanibal

It's not taboo but it's important.
Biyolojik olarak doğada bulunan her erkek kendi genini ilerletmek için çabalar. Dişi seçici olmak zorundadır. Çünkü yumurtanın biyolojik maliyeti sperme göre daha pahalıdır. Bu da erkekde bir güvensizlik yaratır. Biyolojik olarak bekaret bu sebepten önemlidir.
Sözün özeti; dünyadaki hiçbir normal erkek,mantıki ve sosyolojik açıdan olabilir dese dahi, içgüdüsel olarak bunu kabül etmesi mümkün değildir. Bu doğanın kanunudur. Tartışmak ise neden yağmur yağıyor da ıslanıyoruza benzer.

ismet

it certanly is.

14 INCHES MIKE

In your country almost everybody loses virginity after 25 years old, because nobody wants to make love with nobody ( beauty is very rare in turkish people)
And also, in your country, many people marry someone in their own family, that's why they are so ugly.

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