This is for the Greek parents out there...?

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donna

Greek - Americans are often different from the Greeks that live in Greece, (and I can explain why as I was born in the states although originally my parents are Greek and now we all live in Greece)

Greek - Americans took "the ways and customs of Greece" of 1960 or 1970 with them, and are less open - minded than the Greeks over here.

I have friends and relatives (girls) that are dating or have dated younger men,In fact one is engaged to an American who is four years younger. and it's fine, as long as they are happy together.

Come to think about it 3yrs is nothing really.

If you do want his parents to accept you, there is one way: show them that you respect their ways,

If not then I really hope this guy wants to fight for you as much as you do for him, if he doesn't put his foot down now, they will always interfere.

I'd like to give you two tips:
â€¢ When you are with a Greek, you ARE with his family as well, ask around...
and
â€¢ Greek men are often very close to their mothers, so since you said you really would like to fight for him, turn things around, and make friends before you make enemies.

In my opinion, (and the Greek Orthodox Church agrees) a child is a gift from God, never a burden,

So, bring him to you, but don't take him away from his family, because he will go back.

I wish you the best of luck and I'd be happy to advise if I could.

Vergina

Good luck reg going on with your life. You will be fine. We all learn from past experiences and your ex bf is a real mama's boy,a character to remember to stay away from now on.
Your situation has nothing to do with one of you being Greek as my daughter is dating a non Greek guy(a year younger than her too, LOL) and she has our blessing.
Your ex is still controlled by his parents and is a lost battle already.
Please, concentrate more in raising your son rather than trying to find a husband. It is not fair to your son.

And to the user who disputes "Asimenia"s existence I have to say that Asimenia has been here long time, she has a very colorful (and stable) life and family in Greece,that we all know of very well. Why she has to prove the obvious to anyone?
How about a high school kid who just opened this account and cannot even spell "thriskeftika", thats' someone I question her motives and existence. Dear, if you keep this account nearly as close as asimenia does, then we believe you are not a troll and you mean well.
In the meantime just read the answers and be quiet, if you have nothing good to say

Allan D is GAME OVER

Bla-bla and Asimonia are right

Dr. Pill

Normally I'd stay away from these questions....but it is important to state that this had nothing to do with Greek Nationality.

It could be any ethnicity. Italians, Jew, Anglo-saxans, even Kenyans.

The problem is the prejudice that occur against women in your situation.

Be strong. you already have a man in your life - your son. Love him and raised him well, someday he may well become the next President of the United States.

bla bla

I read your question and had to smile. My best friend is half Greek, half British. Her mother is Greek, her father is British and she was brought up on Crete, plus she has a younger brother.

She has gone to University and found a job in the Netherlands where she lives. Now, you might think that her mother (Greek still married to her 'foreign' father) would be understanding of the fact that she did not want to return to Crete, be a good girl, marry a Greek boy and settle down with lots of babies, upon graduating from Uni - not at all. The two of them (father kept out of it) have had a raging battle for the last 5+ years.

Naturally being in the Netherlands, she is now dating a Dutch guy (really nice, respectful and he even flew his family over to Crete to meet her's as a sign of respect) - but this is not good enough and her mother still calls at least once a week to find out when she is coming back or if she has broken up with her bf yet.

I know from her that this is typical for the group of friends she had in Crete - all of whom are married with kids and settled with Greek guys and her mother is constantly informing her of this fact, and that she is shamed now in the group of mothers because of it.

Don't underestimate her persistance in this matter! The requirement to conform to the "norm" is a strong one and she won't give up or give in. You will need a lot of patience, tolerance and a thick skin!

Also don't underestimate the mother-son relationship - it's usually pretty strong anyway, but in Greece, especially so. Whilst it might be all "flowers & sunshine" now and he is being the perfect bf, at the first sign of trouble, you can bet your bottom dollar that mummy will be the first person to told, and this relationship will cause a big barrier in yours. All the bravado of standing up to her -well it might sound good, but don't beleive it until you see it.

From what I see, his mum has already pulled the book of tricks out and is currently using them as fast as possible!

Of course it's not hopeless and impossible and of course there are exceptions - but I am guessing from the fact you placed the question in the first place, that you have your concerns.

Also do think of your child which of course is the paramount concern. Arguements, stress etc will be picked up by him/her easily.

I would say, use these three weeks to really think about the long-term and what is really the best for you and your child

EDIT - I just read your additional comments and well - the game has well and truely started. Like you said - he is 20 years and not 20 months old. Not being "allowed" contact is a lousy excuse, and running back after one day merely re-enforces the case. Honestly honey, not saying this to be evil or vindictive, but please think what is really the best for you and your baby (as one mum of young kids to another :0)

Velvet_Vamp

Well Greek parents tend to be overprotective most of the time but what you're saying is crazy!!
I haven't heard of a mother saying that a girl needs permission from her to date her son..!!

As you said he seems to be a mamas boy if he called things off just cause his father said no!!

I know that mothers have sth like an obsession with their sons but that's insane!!It doesn't have to do with the fact that he's Greek,it's just his character..!!

UKNOWULOVEME!!!

ok im greek and from experience you bf needs to talk to his parents !! religion mite be a problem so say you will convert to the religion ! or do what my mom did and learn greek and impress his parents ! trust me iv been thou this stuff my dad has and now my bro!! so try some of this stuff out !!

cpinatsi

Greek parents who have sons consider that they must not get married young, and that women who have a reason to get married (e.g. have a child, or want to have child soon) are just trying to trap their son into marrying them, which according to them is a disaster for their kid. They would not react like this if you did not have a child, they may haave liked or disliked you, but they would;n be seeing you as a threat. They would see you as a thret even with no child, if you were 28-30 (= looking for a husband, in their mind).
I don't agree with this, and I know it is wrong, but that is how they feel. I married my husband when we were both 28, and had been going out for 9 years, and still my mother in law thought her son married too young.
Your bf is obviously dependent on their parents financially, and they are not going to agree with your relationship. If he is man enough - and loves you enough - to stand up to them, that's good for both of you.
Good luck, I don't know what else to say.

Edit: I am sorry it turned out like this. What I was trying to explain is that they have no problem with you or your nationality or religion, they just don't want their son to get the burden of a family and a child so soon, especially one that isn't his own. I disagree with them, but don't take it as a personnal or a national issue.

Zumbambue Colarad zak

Your question is misleading. Nothing todo with Greece. Its about a 20 year old boy getting into a complicated situation. You first say you would fight for him and then that he is a mamas boy. Thank God his parents save him from the immature decision of getting seriousl involved with you. Giving a birth to a child unmarried is your decision for your reasons. You should be proud for it but you should also recognise the complications that will come across for the 20year old boy that is not even the father of your child. If you cant understand this, you are probably much more immature than he is.

plostad

That is part of their tradition and culture, to put the nose in other people business, and to try to make your life worst. They hate that you are happy! Just see the answer above, the user is asking about your age, about your child's age and want to know more, instead to answer a simple question. Why is that for? Who is she/he to judge you?
Don't be upset, if there is true love between the two of you, then everything will be alright. And about your child, just to refresh other users memory (because I'm sure that you know that), the child is a blessing, not a burden!
I think that you are the one who should think over your relationship (once again) with your boyfriend and his parents, because you are ready to change your religion in the name of love, and they can't accept the fact that you are a single mom! You and your child will have to live your lives with this people, so don't be scared to ask for respect and dignity.
I hope that the things will be better for you, cause you deserve it!

Airpole

Tough luck for you. You've hit the jackpot !
Most likely he is much younger than you and that is also a problem for Greek parents.
After your first question about converting to G.C.O., I knew that the problem was elsewhere and not in the religion.
That man is still under the influence of his parents, a situation which is not uncommon in Greek society.
Whatever YOU do will not be met with acceptance from their side.
Your are the foreigner, you are the divorced and a parent with a child to make it worse, you have a different mentality from theirs, in general you do not fit in their plans for their future daughter in law.
In fact you have everything against you. Do you have the guts to fight it?
If you feel that he is honest with you and that he is not totally dependent on them and he will stand against their will, then stay in that relation.
If you have the smallest doubt , get out of it and try to find someone more agreeable to your conditions.
They will make your life hell and unless he is supportive and standing behind you, however much in love you both may be, you wil have to face them for the following years you will be together.Can you take it?

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