My friend is going abroad to france...?

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Mme RIVARD

The best thing I can suggest is to have her read some books, like the two by Polly PLATT, "French or Foe" & "Savoir Flair". They are designed to answer the questions that you have and that would be hard to answer as well in this forum. In any case, if she will go with an open mind and a willingness to learn and adapt she should be fine. That reminds me, there is another excellent book, "60,000,000 Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong". One point that I retain from that book is that since the French are so similar to us, we forget to think of them as foreigners! Then when we go to their country we expect them to be like us and we don't think of them as having their own culture for us to observe, appreciate and enjoy. They are an old people - they have the earliest known prehistoric paintings and they've been carving out their culture ever since. There are still things they do that relate to past customs that started in courtly settings. We, on the other hand, are "new" and we are a blend of peoples who came to our continent in the relatively recent past of France.

I have been in France often and love France and the French, but every time I go I learn more. Your friend can get a head start and learn a great deal from the books mentioned above. She can keep learning once she is there by being observant and keeping an open mind. It is not a bad policy to practice "When in France, Do as the French Do" version of "When in Rome ...", as long as it doesn't involve something that makes her uncomfortable. What does she have to lose, given that the French are renowned for so many of the finer things in life? She could learn how to make an art out of living and for sure out of eating!!!

One thing I remember learning is that you will ruffle tail feathers a lot less if you learn to greet shop keepers and clerks as you enter their stores and say good bye to them as you leave. Americans are perceived as rude when they don't do that and then the shop keepers and clerks are less likely to want to give them their best service. Americans also smile more than French people do and that can be a curious thing for the French and they really don't appreciate how loud we can be. They tend to talk very softly and discreetly. Also, they tend to stand very close. Then if we back away, they can perceive it as stand-offish. I've also been told several times that it is considered impolite to ask questions about money, politics, religion and work. It has been my experience that those topics often come up in any case, but I try to avoid being the one to initiate those discussions.

Another confusion is whether to use the formal "vous" or the informal "tu". When in doubt, I'd use "vous", but I think its OK to ask, too. Also, the number of "kisses" (in the air next to the other person's cheeks) is hard to determine and despite what people write and what people say about a certain number to expect according to such and such a region - it has been my experience that those guidelines don't work out. Result? In each region be open and ready to adapt the number to each individual. You can expect to be greeted with those kisses, even by strangers, if they are friends with a person who is accompanying you. They will often automatically accord you the same status as the person with you.

If your friend has a lot of time to prepare she might also think about reading some books that are accounts of experiences that other people have had when they move to France or spend time there. One of my favorites is "Almost French". Its about an Australian woman who ends up marrying a French man and establishing her life in France.

Another thing that I like to do is to make contacts on line with people who live in the region where I'll be spending time. There is nothing like knowing someone before you go and there are so many warm-hearted and generous French people who are thrilled to meet Americans and who love to help them and to show them their country and their region. There is so much more you can see and learn when you have a local person helping you.

Your friend is a very lucky girl. I hope she has the time of her life.

kl55000

As a French I can tell you a few customs :
- a person said taking the bus or the subway is difficult. In fact it all depends where you are. In Paris of course it is as there are more people but it will depends on the line you take. In other cities it isn't like that. You will usually climb at the front and get down at the back of the bus
- at restaurant, bars, leave a tip. Of course not in fast-foods. As for the taste of the big-mac I can't tell the difference they are all the same for me. At least here in China they taste the same as in France or Malaysia. And don't fold your table-towel because it means your meal wasn't good.
- usually people will hold doors.
- thank you or merci in French is important

There would be too much too say. I can't really tell what too visit as I don't know where your friend will go.

Princess Buttercup

That the number "one" with your fingers is by sticking your thumb up, not your index finger. And pronounce the word almost like a whiny grunt - ungh

Big breakfasts are not normal there. Un Croissant is usually about it. They save their appetite for the Prix Fixe lunches - which are usually a great deal

Never be afraid to ask for the house wine. It's usually fairly cheap and pretty good

When you say "merci", don't expect a response. It's not out of rudeness, it's just the culture.

Tables at cafes cost more than taking the item 'to go'.

Drink as much Orangina as possible.

Look for supermarkets where the locals shop and for a fun picnic, buy some cheese, some bread, some eclairs, and a Grand Cru or 1ER Cru wine. In the supermarkets, a St Emilion Grand or 1ER cru can be as little as 8 Euros.

If she's driving, learn the road signs BEFORE arriving. They are different and often have no words on them to even figure them out.

If she's driving, get gas before taking a long road trip. While there are some pull-outs for gas stations, not all towns have a gas station

If she's driving a diesel, "Gazoil" is diesel. It took us 3 days of driving around to figure that out.

If you are in a boulangerie, be ready to order when you get to the front of the line. If she doesn't know the words in French, just point and holdup fingers (or a thumb) for how many.

If she doesn't speak french, she needs to AT LEAST learn numbers 1-3 (preferably through 10), wine and the colors (Vin & Blanc, Rose & Rouge), please, thank you, goodbye, hello, and anything that she maybe doesn't like or is allergic to.

Cheval is horse, horses from the US are often shipped to Europe to be slughtered and served.

Try to ALWAYS use crosswalks to avoid being squished.

ahh4theday

Do the right thing, most laws are basic no matter where you live.
Stay with a group you go with ... your in a foreign country, and you could have problems with you don't know the language ... have some basic words .. Merci, pardon ... if you show consideration to the French people and try to learn their language ... they may help you out more ....don't be an ugly American.

Go see the Chateaus (meaning castles in English) .. fuel is expensive .. like almost 8 dollars a gallon ... they go on the metric system ... their 3 liters is almost a gallon ... so the fuel/petro is quite a bit higher than we pay here in the States.

simon c

Avoid eating horse meat, snails or frogs and don't expect McDonalds to be the same. When they started in France the French demanded to use their own bread/meat and McDs threatened to pull out so they now serve US style burgers and deeply resent it so probably will spit in it if you are American

Hans B

don't be offended when people are short with you or rude, its a cultural thing, nothing personal. A lot of Americans are really really polite. I'm used to the Pacific Northwest where people are very nice and accomodating, almost to a flaw, like when you're waiting in line at the bank, everyone knows who came first and what order they should go in and sometimes its literally like: ''after you'' ''no after you'' ''I insist'' ''thank you, you're so kind'' ''your welcome'' etc... but in France (and in most of europe) its a fight to get served, if they don't have a 'take a number' system you'll get pushed out of the way by some old lady. Getting on the bus or metro is the same way. Just do what they do.

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