Searching for Mr. Right? Why not try ME?

I live in Heidelberg, the world-famous "City of Romance," and while I don't have time for long romances, I do know how to treat a lady -- provided there is sufficient return on investment.

I am available for a DATE if you are a leggy, open-minded, and open-toed babe, but you have to come to me. No travel vouchers provided, but it will be worth it if you aren't a "hassliche Entlein!"

We can dine in the unforgettable gourmet castle restaurant "Schoenmehl's," then view the Neckar River below on the castle balcony as I nuzzle close, pick the last of the "Heidelberg Duck" from my teeth, and barf softly but firmly into your ear, "Ah komm, KÃœSS MICH!" (Kiss me!)

From there, we can walk hand-in-hand across the Old Bridge as I clasp your buns and growl, "Ich WILL dich!" (I want you!)

From that point forward, it will truly be the paradise night of your life. Your tummy won't be the only thing that will be full by dawn, and you will thank yourself for the best decision you ever made.