Why are Germans so cold?

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Cheshire Cat

blah blah blah
Do you know every single person in Germany, to say so?

Dra E

What exactly do you mean?

We are just a bit reserved and that is good.
It is respect.
If a german is friendly to you then you know that it is honest.

In the USA friendlyness seem to just be politeness.
When an US american is very friendly to you then you donÂ´t know if he is only polite or honest friendly(probabaly first)

That has nothing to do with coldness but more with missing superficiality.

Kitten

Asking that is a bit like asking 'Why are all Americans so fake?'
Americans will probably be outraged at that accusation because they don't perceive that to be the case at all.

It is however how a lot of Europeans perceive US mentality.
See the problem here?
It is a cultural difference, that's all. Two different cultures with different attitudes towards interpersonal relationships causing a lot of misunderstandings;ie. Germans are cold, Americans are fake.

Most Germans are perfectly polite if asked for help, will give an adequate response but not elaborate with small talk or calling complete strangers 'sweetie' or 'honey'. As the previous poster said, if a German is friendly to you it is usually genuine and not out of a false sense of politeness which I also think is a lot more honest than plastering on a perma-smile.
Politeness in Germany does not mean you have to be best friends and jovial with everyone, it actually means treating people respectfully, over familiarity is often perceived as not being genuine and sometimes even disrespectful depending on the situation, hence when addressing people you do not know you tend to be reserved until you know them better and know what sort of tone will go down well. Being what a lot of Americans often perceive as 'cold', ie. fairly impersonal, is actually just a way of showing respect and being polite.

Germans are perfectly friendly- with their friends and of course like to have fun, they are just a bit more private and reserved compared to Americans.
I really have no idea where the perception of the humourless German comes from, clearly noone making those claims has watched Friday night German TV which is full of comedy for a start....

Orla C

No they're not. When you get to know them, they're just like anyone else.

blueocean_nz

Well, Germans do have fun and they aren't at all cold (in fact once you get to know them they're a very sentimental bunch). If you go to Germany and make no attempt to speak the language or understand the people, you can expect that they wont make much of an attempt to understand you (which is what would happen to you in any country). I have German parents & lived in Germany for four years. What amazed me was the number of Americans that assume all Germans speak English. Its very rude to walk up to somebody & without asking start speaking in your own language to them. This happened so often that in the end we pretended we couldn't speak English!!! Maybe I'm one of those cold Germans you dislike so much.

Miss USA 2009

This is a million dollar question. I am kidding to Kitten I am very nice and polite and very trusting so not all americans are fake. I have german friends they were not cold. But I have heard a lot are maybe they just don't know any better.

celebrate_me_home_2000

My wife thinks so and she is german.

rio-blanco

You don`t know the three thinnest books of the world?

1) What men know about women.
2) The headlights of British cuisine.
3) Thousand years of German humor.

dbdoit

You asked a Good One! Answers so far are about right. I have lived in Germany for over 20 years now. I have gotten used to their direct 'cold' way of doing things - after living in Atlanta, Georgia. That was Culture Shock! Anyway that is just how Germams are. But, I have noticed that out in the country away from the big cities the Germans there are a bit friendlier, but still that reserved cold 'Art'. I just smile and accept it. Smiling like that really bugs some Germans.
As far as the 'Mad' part, I do not think they are any worse or better than most Europeans.
Granted it would ne nice if they put the coldness aside and tried to improve their customer service skills, that is is a national joke.

Astrid

Although the answer - Germans aren't actually cold is true, or has been my experience, what is coming into play here is that Germans have different definitions and expectations of the words: stranger, acquaintance and friend. Germans may seem cold because they don't feel like they owe much to strangers. They often don't say "excuse me" to get past someone or apologize for bumping into someone. That was a huge culture shock for me, now I'm used to it. Germans will keep you at arms length for a long time, considering you an acquaintance, when, in the US, for example, you might use the term friend a lot sooner and an acquaintance is someone more removed or barely known. I've met so many friendly and nice Germans - but they are more difficult to meet and it takes a very long time for them to open up. By the way, Germans are exactly as flakey as Americans, it's just that Americans are easier to meet! I've met Germans here that told me all Americans were superficial and yet I was the first American they had ever met in real life, so go figure for all of these cultural misunderstandings.

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