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Jayson R

Why did she blow cigarette smoke in my face after dinner?

She's full Italian and has been living in the U.S for several years. We've been on several restaurant dates over the past few weeks, but this time she invited me over for dinner. After the delicious home-cooked Italian meal, we continued our discussion over a little wine and she was very impressed with what I said and laughed a bit. Then she blew cigarette smoke in my face, smiled and then said "it would be such a blessing to be your wife", but said it in Italian(I didn't understand and had to ask). She then gave me a big kiss on my cheek. We haven't had sex yet, although I am very attracted to her and we get along well.

She smokes while I'm a non-smoker and this was very very weird, especially especially the "wife" comment. Was this a proposal? I'm not Italian like her so I may not understand Italian custom so well. This experience was kind of perplexing, but I do like her a lot and want to continue this. I'm 28 and she is 39. I've tried to get her to explain herself but her answers have been inadequate or she just acts silly again.
Additional Details
Josie: I don't know her to be a "thoughtless idiot" which makes this blowing smoke thing very strange for me. She's a very smart, very well-educated lady. Her silliness is not the immature kind either.

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Alright I know it looks weird but... yes, sometimes some woman does it, she blows cigarette smoke in the guy's face to seduct him.
The thing is, holding a cigarette between your fingers feels kind of sexy, the way you take it to your mouth looking into his eyes, the way you blow out the smoke.... sort of an Audrey Hepburn kind of thing :-)

Now I don't know what you were talking about, but her comment about the wife definitely sounds like a proposal to me. She was trying to tell you that she feels attacted both phisically (the smoke) and emotionally (the comment on the wife), then she topped the whole thing off with the closest thing to a phisical contact she could manage at that moment (the kiss on the cheek).
Man she wants you alright :-D

Now don't spoil it all by taking her for granted, but she's definitely waiting for your next move... good luck!

heart of a blackbird
smoke in your face means she wants you. Seriously.

why do you ask it to us and not to her??? you should know your girlfriend, not us
bytheway this category is for travels

I think you've answered your own question. And smoking is far more common in Italy than in the US - if that would be a problem for you, you'd need to add it into the equation.


Good question! The answer may lie more in the age than in the culture! Seems like a scene out of a Fellini film....

It may have been a "testing of the waters" to see if a proposal was possible!

I guess she was playfully flirting in a way that doesn't carry well across cultures. The image of a woman sensually blowing smoke on some men is quite common in old movies. In Italy smoking is far more socially acepted than in other nations, so she probably thought it appropriate/fun to reenact the role.

I have searched something about Italy (this year I'm going there on vacation, and I found this question :)
. What I know, blowing cigarette smoke in someone's face, means that he/she wants to have sex with you.
I see that some people critisize such gesture as rude or bad (in the sense of "let you imagine what life would it be with smoker and having children with her" etc). I think you're too far from taking that woman to wedding. Saying that she would like to be your wife is just a part of seduction game. That's what I know about this "gesture".
Seems to me that lady enjoys seeing your confusion and it's flattering that you are 28 and she is 39.
Relax, and enjoy her company.
Good luck;)

Boe Knows
She's dissing you.

That is just gross and her wife comment is ill timed! If anyone blew cigarette smoke in my face I'd take it like they were a completely thoughtless idiot. Everyone knows how bad cigarette smoke is and to deliberately force it into anyone's face, much less a non-smoker's face is terrible behavior.

She may as well have said "I'll keep blowing smoke in your face because if you marry me I'll try to give you cancer from second hand smoke. Then I'll collect your life insurance so I can get my lung transplant and more cigarettes."

Also, if this woman is 39 and still acting "silly" then she is worthless. Could you imagine by time you're 40 she'll be 51, still acting like a ditzy teenager because she thinks it's "cute", but she'll sound like she eats sandpaper and her skin will be stained with tobacco and wrinkled like an old leather handbag. How embarrassing to bring her out in public, meet your friends and family, etc. To work parties? She'll bring down your credibility in every facet of your life. Find a clean, healthy, intelligent woman closer to your own age!

P.S. If she can still have children, would you really want a smoker carrying your baby, gross!!! Run, run fast my friend.

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