I'm VERY, VERY upset, I'd like your thoughts on this?

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Peedlepup

Sorry, you're a minor, and your parents are responsible for you. If their decision is "No", then that is how it is. At 17 you think this is the end of the world, but in reality, when young girls get together unchaperoned, they tend to get themselves into trouble. (Your mom was once 17, so she knows what 17 year old girls do). Yea, Yea, I know, You're different. You and your friend would never do anything dangerous. Your parents love you and care about you very much. Hawaii will always be there. When you're the mother of a 17 year old you'll understand your parents decision.

monkey

your arguments are all good arguments with one exception. you are underage and you're living in your parents' house. as long as those facts are still facts, you have to do as your parents say. Hawaii isn't going anywhere. go later.

lakecity21

This is not a once in a life time opportunity for you. You are 17 you have your whole life ahead of you. It won't be long before you are 18. Save up your money then go to Hawaii. No one will be able to say anything to you and you won't have to beg for permission. Plus it will really aggravate your parents LOL.
You didn't mention if you are male or female. I assume you are female. You also didn't mention if there was going to be a Mom there with the Dad. Honestly even though you don't see it right now, but when you have experience life more you will see that it is a little creepy that your friend's father is paying for all these young girls which he will be the only parent at. Trust me eventually you will realize that this dad is not as cool as you think.

sarch_uk

Forgive me for saying this but as someone from the UK I have always been under the impression that Hawaii is off the WEST coast of America, not the EAST which is what you are saying. Maybe if you have said this to your parents then they have every reason to believe that your schooling has already suffered...

In all seriousness, maybe your parents are feeling guilty that they cannot afford to take you to Hawaii themselves, and their reaction is the only way they can deal with it....parents are human with feelings too you know. Perhaps it would have been better if you friend's father, along with your friend, had asked their permission before inviting you.

aloha.girl59

To the girl in the UK who made snotty comments about this poster's grades: she isn't saying that Hawaii is off the east coast of the U.S. She is saying that *she* has never been anywhere other than the east coast of the U.S.!

Now, on to the question.
As much as I hate to sound like an old lady, I have a little boy (he is 6) and I truly doubt I would let him go on a trip like this in 11 years. A lot would depend upon how well I knew my son's friend and the friend's father. I would also be uncomfortable with the friend's family paying for everything -- particularly if it's only the opposite sex parent going with you as chaperone. Sorry if that sounds sexist or whatever, but parents need to look out for their kids and if I didn't know the woman extremely well, she wouldn't be taking my son down the block, let alone to Hawaii!

Here is a thought: do you plan to move out and/or go to college when you graduate high school? You could start planning now for a graduation trip to Hawaii with this particular friend. I know it doesn't solve the problem of going in two months and who wouldn't blame you for wanting to go? But if you prove to your parents that you are responsible and deserving (e.g., by getting good grades, staying out of trouble, and graduating from high school with goals in front of you), maybe they will help you pay for a trip next summer when you graduate! That would actually be more fun than going in Feb. (which can be wet) and with your friend's father.

As much as it sucks right now, try to realize that your parents are doing what they feel is best for you. Lay the groundwork now for a graduation trip and start saving your money!

kohalakoast

All things being equal I would allow my 17 year old daughter to go on a trip like the one you describe.

However life is not equal or fair. I think that the other posters are hitting some issues such as is the trip with "Dad" only? Is it dad and his girl friend? Do your parents know and like and trust "Dad"? I think there could be the economic issue. Could your parents truly afford such a vacation? If not their pride may be factoring in here. Lastly, the Natalie Holloway death is still out there spinning around and your parents may be feeling they need to protect you from anything remotely close to that.

pissy_old_lady

I don't want to side with one or the other, but your parents might feel there is not enough parental supervision for you. This decision would be based on how you two behave together. I think you would have a blast, as long as you obeyed the rules, and it truly is a shame you have to miss out on this. Of course, being a parent, I would have to really think hard about allowing my daughter to venture on a trip like this.

boomer gal

In your arguments, one thing you don't mention is your grades. I suspect if you were an honor student, you would have mentioned that as well. So I wonder if your parents are truly concerned about your education. Face it, makeup work is not the same.

C C

They know you better than we do here & I'm sure what they say is right.So hang in there.

Seeker of Truth

Try to (negotiate) with them, down deep they are probably hoping that you make them some kind of offer in return, I know I've done that alot with my son, and even if he's too stupid to consider this (negotiate) then I eventually bring it to him, because, after all I DO NOT want him to be unhappy, and there's really nothing wrong with it, other than, YOU BE VERY CAREFULL, AND NEVER ALONE, ESPECIALLY WITH THEIR DAD! get the picture? offer something like you know those dishes, you try to get me to wash? well, I'll wash them until the day comes for me to leave, ect..., try hard, they'll have to give in, but be wise about it, and don't use anger harshly, but if you use it, use it to your benefit. Because if you get too angry, they will not let you control them with it.

Lance R

we cant help you , you need to work it out with your parents , Hawaii is not around the corner.

fairylover

as long as you live with your mom.....she is the boss

Dani

The only thing I can add is that perhaps you could ask your friend's father to speak with your parents. If they can't/won't communicate their fears about this trip with /you/, maybe they will with him. If their fears are valid fears, your friend's father may be able to put them more at ease. If they are just concerned that their baby will be leaving home for 7 days, then nothing you can do will change their mind.

As others have said though, Hawaii isn't going anywhere. I'm sure it feels like the end of the world, but mae this a goal to get out there with your friends another time, if you can't make it work for this trip.

Good luck.

Cwisteeny Baby

unlike many people your age, i feel you have done the argument with your parents perfectly and maturely. its your parents that are now being the immature ones.

"i see no reason why you don't want me to go to hawaii after i have explained to you all the reasons why i should go. as parents don't you want me to learn how to be independent and responsible for my life? i want to go to hawaii and i took the time and effort to make sure that i was responsible for the whole trip. if you say you don't like me to miss school, the teachers and i made the agreement to do the make-up work. if you are worried about my safety, my best friend's parents will be there. and i would hope by now you understand that i am mature enought to be responsible for myself. if you are worried just as parents to have me go, that is something you two have to deal with because i do need to grow up one day. but don't get me wrong, its not like i want to turn rebel and move out of the house. that is why i am trying to talk to you now.

i want to be able to feel like i can communicate with you guys on a mature and responsible level. but if you two will not discuss an issue i feel adamant about without giving me a proper explanation why i shouldn't go just because "you just feel like saying no", that makes me lose faith and trust in you as parents. that makes me feel that i'm more mature than you because i had to go through all the logic to explain why i should go.

i love you and i want you to understand that i want to go bond with my best friend and experience hawaii. it is something i do not want to regret or have a hidden grudge against you guys for not letting me go for no reason. this will not only be a bonding trip for my best friend and i, but a bonding experience with you two as well. Purely because by letting me go, it lets me know that you do trust me that i won't do anything bad. and that is something i won't take for granted and will carry with me the rest of my life. so please, let me go on this trip."

what

They are probably making a mistake. It is a wonderful oppurtunity, and no I don't believe that they will go to Hawaii, because they would have gone by now. But, either they are best to know who you are, or they are making you miss out on a life time memory. Either way, I'm sorry, it is their call.

Richard K

Relax with family now because the week gets so busy later you may not have the time.

jennifer_weisz

My God - you have insecure parents. To deny such an experience is insane. Opportunities come along onle so often and one has to take advantage of them!

Maybe they feel they don't want your friend;s dad to pay for you? It may put them in an economically insecure situation. I say have you friend's dad call them and reinsure them it would be alright. A trip is a much more valuable experience than one week of school. As a parent I would allow my child as long as schools is covered and it is safe! If you are really 17 they are over-protective. You are so old! I would let my kids go! Mine are too young now, but as a lawyer and world traveler, any experience outside home is a positive one!

Happy Holidays! I hope it works out!

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