I have been dating a guy for two years and I find out that he's smoking pot. What should I do?

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boulderv6

I don't think smoking a little here and there is a big deal. What I see as the problem is that he has kept this from you for two years. What else is he keeping from you. I think this is a deal breaker. Leave him. Find someone who is open from the get go.
Good Luck

earthsdca

If he kept that from you for 2 years then who knows what else hes been keeping from you.

M. S.

Lol @ American culture. If you dont like it that much, tell him its you or the pot. Is he really that addicted to pot to leave you for it? Think about it.

Appakkappa

You are so right to see red! The question boils down to leaving him now, or leaving him later when you will be much sadder.

whidd2003

Be glad that he is not smoking crack cocaine as well...

Seriously though, if this is that much of a problem for you, end the relationship.....

SlimShadyGirl

tell him plainly: keep the pot; forget the girl
if he doesn't care he's not worth it

duderino

ultimatum: tell him to stop or you'll leave him. maybe then he'll realize how serious you are. if not, then leave him and his pot-smoking ways.

jodevon

if you are not comfortable with it, and you have let him know how you feel then you do what you feel is best for you.If you want a great future then leave him.You gotta look out for you,this is your life i'm just giving you my opinion.

xdepthxperceptionx

Tell him straight forward that you don't like him smoking it and would like him to quit. Let him know that you don't want a future with someone who smokes it. I did the same with my boyfriend but we compramised, he only smokes it when I'm not around and doesn't talk about it when I'm around him.

M JOHNS

dump him because if he is doing that behind your back who knows what else he is doing

nedjine05

if it bothers you alot, and you can't deal with it, than if your heart tells you you can't take it, leave. but if it doesn't bother you much, and your love can overcome him smoking, accept him for what he does and who he is.

Mr. Main Event

Its you or the pot. Make him choose. If he loves you, then he'll choose you. But, if he chooses the pot, then you should leave him because he cares more about the pot than your love.

jen2006mama

love everything about him or leave, but i think its a faze he'll get over it. and 2 years is a long time you love him you can't leave so suck it up and let him get over it or go!

stevis78

Dump him. He's not willing to take on responsibility, obviously.

bitsyrocky

i would dump him ASAP

jbscooby99999

Tell him its either you or the pot, you deserve better then that.

ditzychik508

Why is this question ins the Orlando section???

Anyway... When I first met my fiance he used to smoke weed and sell it too. I told him that I don't like that crap and would prefer if he would stop, but that it's his life and he can do what he wants with it as long as he doesn't smoke around me and come to me while he is high. He accepted my feelings and understood how I felt. We started to become really close and spent more and more time together and he eventually stopped. I know it's not exactly the same situation as you, but try to work with him and if he is unwilling too then obviously he isn't worth it. Good Luck!!!

absolutely_fabulous_78

I was in this very same situation when I first met my wife. When we met we were living in different countries so we spent the vast majority of the first three months apart. My wife then came to where I was and stayed for a little over two months. I already knew that she smoked pot. She was always open with it so it was not like it was any surprise to me. However, I had never ever been around drugs. I never touched them and none of my friends did either. When I found out that my then girlfriend, now wife, smoked pot I thought I was cool with it. That was until I was actually in her presence and around her and her friends when they were actually doing it. I then realized that I didnâ€™t like it and the more time went on I realized that it was not something I could handle. At the time my wife called me a hypocrite â€“ after all I had said I had no problem with it. Maybe she had a point but I donâ€™t think I was lying when I initially said I didnâ€™t mind it, I just didnâ€™t know how I would react when I was actually confronted with it. It got to the point where I had to ask my wife to make a decision â€“ me or pot. That might seem like a harsh thing to do but I knew we would have no future otherwise. I would not be very happily married to my wife today if I had not asked her to make that choice. If my wife had continued smoking pot I would not have been able to deal with it and sooner or later it would have split us up. Thankfully my wife chose me over pot. If you really cannot deal with your boyfriendâ€™s use of pot, you must make him choose too. If he truly loves you it will be an easy choice for him. If he chooses pot over you then you are better off without him, arenâ€™t you? If you had a habit that your boyfriend could not deal with, wouldnâ€™t you be willing to at least try and stop it, for him?

Confused 1 Man Lover 77

Leave him... it only gets worse from here... Been there done that! And he won't quite bcuz you want ho to... People only change if THEY want to change, not bcuz you told them so! Good Luck! There are lot's of drug-free good guys out there!

chaun_blue

you've been together for two years and you just found out!?!I guess it is his pot personality that you feel in love with, like his "easy going ways, calm-demeanor, and general niceness", think about it awhile. If you love him so much find out why you have such strong feelings, maybe pot isn't so bad

nbr660

You both need to speak to a counsellor together

nido_tr3s

If it's that big of a deal, then you need to dump him and move on and find another goody-goody like yourself. Seriously, you need to join in and try it with him because it's fun and relaxing and is nothing to avoid.

Timmy

Get as far away from him as possible and recomend him to some support groups!!!

btlrboyz

dump him--move on, if he loved u he'd quit. that's what my guy did. not pot, reg cigarettes~~~good luck!!

jjsnow21

I would dump him. Sorry to be harsh.

auntb93again

Well, you could try changing your attitude toward marijuana. If you really can't, whether because you buy the BS the government puts out about it being bad for you (it's actually a medicine for many people), or because you are that paranoid about the fact that it is illegal, then I guess you can't marry him.

Odd, though, that you say you love him, but you are unwilling to trust his judgment on this matter.

Joyce T

I know plenty of Americans that don't smoke pot and/or gave it up when the realized that they had to grow up. If he's dedicated to it more than you, then you have to question that. Any use of drugs or alcohol are escapism. Do you want your kids to have a dad that gets fried and watches TV? Try Nar-Anon. You are worth more than he can give you. Go.

cosmicweasle

maybe you should try some of the sticky icky.

Katlyn â™¥ Disney

Well, when I found out my boyfriend smoked weed I wanted him to quit, too. He didn't want to, though, and eventually I tried it. lol Surprise! I love it, now, and we love to smoke together. We've been together and very happy for four years. Marijuana's not half as bad as people believe. It's certainly not worse than anyone smoking cigarettes. It's not a gateway drug. Neither of us have ever graduated to any other drugs. And we've both agreed that as soon as I decide to get pregnant, we're both quitting completely. Try it, maybe it's not worth leaving him.

If you knew anything about pot you wouldn't have a problem with it. I love the comment someone made, "Do you want your kids to have a dad who gets fried and watches TV?" lol It's not like that at all. Obviously, you just noticed he's smoking pot after two years, meaning the way you know him is the way he is when he's high. If he quits smoking completely, he's going to change, and not for the better. And I don't see how that person connects smoking weed to watching TV. So many people sit around and watch TV way more than they should. It doesn't mean they're fried. I get high so many times a day, I can't even keep track. And I have such a high tolerance, my high doesn't last any longer than 20 minutes. I get fried and go to work for 12+ hours, go to college, and have kept an excellent relationship with my boyfriend for four years. I don't smoke it to "escape." It wakes me up and makes me energetic. In fact, I'm going to smoke a bong right now. I must just be special. I can smoke and still have a happy life. I work, I go to school, and I have great relationships with my friends and family. Kudos to me, I guess!

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